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Jellyfish: A cultural exploring traveler loves making friends from different countries. As a western culture lover, I would like to share fun moments from my travel experiences. In my journey of searching for Mr. Right, I would like to provide food for your thoughts so that you will discover what will make you click to find your love. It is all mindset and atti-tude. Let us work on that! Jellyfish: 喜欢在不同國家交朋友及發掘文化差異的旅人。作為一名喜愛西方文化的愛好者,我將會分享旅遊經驗的有趣事情。在這經歷找真命天子的過程中,我期待為你分享一些想法,對你在找尋真命天子中有幫助。所有事情都是出於心態及想法,我們一起努力吧。
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Do We Have Prejudice Against Strangers? 我们对陌生人有偏见吗?

By Jellyfish
661 Views | 18 Comments | 11/6/2017 12:37:45 PM

Welcome to the world of Online Dating through the eyes of Jellyfish, a lovely, lively, Chinese lady.

Recently, I have sent some messages to the CLM members and received some messages from others. What interesting is: once I sent out messages, I usually asked myself a question: he looks so familiar. Where did I see him? I am pretty sure that I never meet them before as I glanced their profile. But why they look so familiar? Finally I got the answer when I looked at the member’s picture. He just looks like one of my very dear friend, a great gentleman whom I met in Maryland. That’s why I felt very fond of him the first time when I saw his profile picture even I never meet him. That is unfair!!! He did nothing but already gained all points from me, right? But this is the reality and how this game works!



After you read my story, you already know the answer of my question. Yes, we all do have prejudice on strangers. We all bring along our past experiences with us when we make new friends. The past we have already determine the way how we respond to strangers or new friends. Is that a way to limit our prejudice so that we could build up a better relationship with new friends or even give a good impression to strangers?



Everyone is a door-gate who will lead you to opportunity or uncertainty. The key to open the door is to make friends with people. We meet new people on daily basis. The way we respond to them will determine whether we will win a new relationship, friendship whatever you name it. Hope the following tips will serve you on this dating platform.



To turn on the self-awareness button! If living with prejudice is inevitable, the best way to limit it is to bring along your self-awareness too! Always examine your thoughts when you meet new people or potential dating partners. Why am I fond of him? Why I am uncomfortable with this person? There must be a reason! In my story, it is because the guy looks like my dear friend. But in other cases, there would be other. Let say, have you ever felt uncomfortable with someone? It maybe when you look at this friend/ stranger, he/she shares the same shortcoming you have. The shortcoming they have reflect yours too. Beware of your prejudice which would adjust your response to other.



Time will tell is one of my favorite phrases which already indicates we should spend more time to observe other. If you want to find your soulmates, your love, even great friends on this platform or in any places, you have to spend enough time with new relationships. Look at how they respond to some circumstances or tough situations. So many times, we are so desperate to jump into a new relationship, we tend to miss some red flags. Or sometimes, we already thought that maybe the end, however giving yourself more time will lead you to different conclusion. Only by spending more time, you will truly know who they are.



You maybe smart enough to know what I just mentioned. You never know what will come to your door. Always be hopeful and cheerful as the future is open for those who are willing to take risk and for those who are wise.



I will see you super soon.



Have a great week.



最近,我在CLM的網站發信息給幾位人士。有趣的是: 當我發出信息的一刻,我總是問自己 “他好像很眼熟。我在哪里見過他?當然我敢肯定我從未認識他們,因為當我看到他們的國籍時便敢肯定了。但我為何會感到熟悉?當我再次看他們的檔案照片時,我便明白箇中原因,其中的一位像極我在馬莉蘭所認識的一位朋友。我這位朋友是個謙謙君子,有紳士風度,我愛他極了。就是因為這個原固當我第一眼看見這位陌生人時,便感到熟悉!這真是太不公平了,他完全沒做過什麼便獲得了我的好感,對吧?



當你讀到我的故事,你可能已經知道問題的答案了。無錯,我們當然對陌生人有偏見。我們總是帶著我們過去的經驗去認識新朋友。我們的過去其實早已決定我們回應陌生人或新相識的朋友的方式。有方法可以局限我們對新人的成見,以致使我們可以建立一個更好的關係,甚至使我們為陌生人一個良好的印象嗎?



我相信每個人也是一扇大門,而這扇大門可以引導你到不同的機遇或人生的不確定。而開啟這扇大門的鑰匙就是要認識新的朋友。我們每天都和陌生人接觸,而我們回應陌生人的方式正正決定了我們是否能贏得新的關係、友誼,你說得出的都可以。希望以下的小提示可以幫到在這個約會的平台找到新的契機:



要啟動自我省察的按扭。既然偏見和我們難捨難分,將成見降低的最好方法當然是一拼帶著自我省察來待人接物。當我們接觸新朋友或潛在的戀愛對象時都要經常省察我們的所思所想。不時要問:為什麼我會喜欢他?一定有原因吧。在發生在我身上的小插曲中,是因為那個人很像我的朋友,而在其他的情況,可能是其他原因,比如,你是否覺得和某人相處時很不自在?當你面对朋友或陌生人時,或許你在他們身上看到自己也有相似的缺點。要經檢察自己對別人的回應。



我非常喜欢的一句彥語是時間會證明一切,這句彥語也證明了我們真的需要花多一點的時間去觀察他人。如果你想在這個平台或其他地方找到知己、最愛或者好朋友,你定要多花時間去經營建立關係這回事。看看他們是怎样回應某些情況,或困難的處境。有很多時候,我們太不惜一切跳入一段關係中,我們往往會忽略了一些未能察看的警告。或有時,我們想所有事情都要結束了,但要是能多花時間,你或者會得出不同的結論。只有多花時間才能知他們的本相。



或者你很聰穎,並知道以上所談的一切。你永遠不知道在前面有一扇怎样的門在等待你。機會的大門永遠留給願意冒險和有智慧的人們。



下次再見,祝你們有美好的一周


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2017-11-06 12:37:15 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Let me introduce you all to Jellyfish, our newest blogger on the CLM and ALM Blogs. Jellyfish has already been participating on the blogs and forum comments, so many of us are already familiar with her to some degree. Based on some of her comments, and her approach to life as described in her short bio, I have a feeling that we're in for a lively, enlightening and fun ride as we follow Jellyfish's blog into the future. Her photo she's posted is our first hint.

It's especially a treat to have a Chinese woman member blogging again. I really hope this will bring some of the Chinese ladies back to being regular readers of the blogs.

In this first blog, while I hadn't really focused on how preconceived feelings, and prior experiences, might negatively or positively affect our attraction to someone even while we are merely looking at their profile photo and reading about them, it makes perfect sense and is pretty obvious once you to think about it. However, I think the suggestion that our self perception of our own qualities or flaws might influence how we view strangers we are viewing, and maybe meeting, on a dating site, is well worth exploring and is, as Jellyfish promised in her bio, serious "food for thought". 

All of which causes me to agree with her that when you're exploring the site seeking your perfect match, it really is worth not simply deciding if you're attracted to someone or not, but also thinking hard about why your attracted to them or not. You might well realize that your initial reactions are flawed, and that maybe you're tossing aside a good potential partner for the wrong reasons. Of course, you may also discover that you're attracted to someone for the wrong reasons.

I look forward to more of your thoughts Jellyfish, and to some of your cross cultural travel experiences as well.

Nice job.(y) 

#2017-11-06 17:13:37 by anonymous16597 @anonymous16597

We all have prejudice.
This is especially true with trying to find a soulmate.
The joke of it is, the longer I'm alive, the more convinced I become that such a thing doesn't exist; in reality we're just trying to have it so we don't die alone.

But many of us, myself included, will.

#2017-11-06 17:14:53 by anonymous16598 @anonymous16598

Welcome to the blogs. I don't expect my previous comment to make it past the censors.

#2017-11-06 21:03:17 by jellyfish @jellyfish

Hi, John, 

Thank you so much for your introduction. You are super busy recently as I know. I greatly appreciate what you did for me. 

Have a wonderful blessed day, 

Jellyfish

#2017-11-07 12:37:45 by melcyan @melcyan

@ jellyfish Welcome to the blogs! You have made a great start! I agree, we all have biases and our biases definitely influence our choice of partner. It is inevitable that our gender, ethnic, cultural, political, religious and other biases will distort what we see in another. To make our best match in online dating we definitely need to be self-aware and aware of all the biases that we bring to the “choice” table. Both positive and negative biases can distort our aim and result in us missing our target of an ideal match.

#2017-11-07 15:35:54 by freebird78 @freebird78

Dear Jellyfish,

Well written and nice pics. Looking forward to your new blogs super soon,LOL!

#2017-11-07 21:26:48 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

welcome @ Jellyfish

#2017-11-11 13:00:17 by jellyfish @jellyfish


@melcyan, 

Thank you so much. 

#2017-11-11 13:00:55 by jellyfish @jellyfish


@freebird78

My second one is on its way. 

See you super soon!!!! 

#2017-11-11 13:01:07 by jellyfish @jellyfish


@paulfox1

Thank you. 

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