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Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: Vestis Virum Reddit, Part 2    

By RWByrum
2146 Views | 34 Comments | 5/30/2018 12:23:14 PM
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(Showing 31 to 34 of 34) Previous 1 2 3 4
#2018-06-07 15:00:55 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@YinTingYu

I was born and raised 50 miles west of Baltimore, in central Maryland.  The people in that area are very different from the ones in Baltimore.  I'm actually a "Fredneck".  The University of Maryland used to call life experiences "experiential learning".

I've been wearing plaid shirts all of my life.  Part of the fashion sense in this neck of the woods, at least in my age bracket.  I don't honestly know where the pants came from, they were a gift from my sister.  The main reason I wear them is because I have a bit of a weight problem.  My weight can fluctuate widely in a disturbingly short period of time.  I've dropped as much as ten pounds in a single day.  My doctors have expressed concern at times because my body mass index was too low.

As for the criticisms, John's suggestion has been the only one that I have taken seriously.  Most of the others appear to be speaking from the perspective of their own prejudices.  I'm actually not that easy to persuade.

Right now I find myself completely adrift in the sea of life.  So, I have stopped dating until after I have gotten things back under control.  I congratulate you on your perspicacity.  Indeed, I did have a plan when I first ask to join the ranks of bloggers.  Most, though not all, of my posts were the implimentation of that plan.  I had intended for the posts to build on one another but, unfortunately, I saw little evidence that my readers were remembering the older posts.  It appeared to me from the comments that they were not.  Oh well.   I abandoned that plan at the beginning of last April when the proverbial excrement finally made contact with the ventilation equipment.

I have read all of your blogs as well and I did enjoy them.  I can't help but wonder why you stopped.

As far as my appearance goes, I let the ladies decide if I am handsome or not.  I don't waste any time worrying about it at all.  When I say that I don't regard myself as handsome, I don't say that because I lack self-esteem or I am insecure.  I say it because I don't really think it matters what I think of my own appearance.  Or, for that matter, what the vast majority of other people think about it.

#2018-06-14 19:40:04 by Sunshineinwinter @Sunshineinwinter

It is by nature that we will be attractive by appearance at the beginning, nothing shame about it, and we have to admit this truth, but just attractive by appearance is shallow, by time, we will come to know ther person's inside and decide if we want this person

So, before other people can know your beautiful inside, you have to attract the people who want to spend the time to get to know you first

You don't have to post some super start pictures, but just try to take some natural pictures of you and pick some good ones to post on the dating site

Mostly, woman like men with clean shave, clean dress, tidy hairnatural pose, with a kind smile, better don't wear sunglass or make faces in the pictures that you put on the dating sites, you can share some funny pictures with your future girlfriend, but on the dating site, looking for a serious relationship, women will judge from your pictures to decide if they want to contact you or not, so some nice and decent pictures would really help, it is the window for people to know you a bit, from the pictures

If you are overweight, try to lose some weight, honestly, people would expect to find a partner who is quite fit, and try to talk nicely, to get more chances, the more chances you can have, the high possibility that you can find the right match for you soon

#2018-06-14 20:04:21 by Sunshineinwinter @Sunshineinwinter

To speak honestly, most Chinese women who seek western men, are hoping to move to western countries with the men's help, some women are rich, but they don't have enough money to move out by themself, but not many are rich, some women just brag like some men to tell you they are rich or their family are rich, just to get you

Some women are not selective, they just go with whatever any western men who can bring them to western countries

Some women are selective, they would consider the men's real situation in his country and his personality to decide if they want to choose this man

Some Chinese women may be rich, but their money are not enough to move themself and their children to other countries

Some Chinese women don't care if to live in China or move to western countries, what they care is if the men stay in China, can he find a job and support her life in China, and maybe, her plan is to live with the man in China for some time, maybe have baby together, then convince the men to move back to his country with her in the future, well, the women will take the risk, this is like gambling

For those Chinese women who is a bit rich (not very rich), and they don't want to move to other countries, they would find a younger Chinese boyfriends to live together, because, to find a western men who can't speak Chinese, have no family here, have no money, what can the women get from the men? she need to take care of him on everything, so they would prefer to find a younger Chinese boyfriend to take care of each other

Sorry for say above, but that is truly happen in the people around me, I know some a bit rich divorced women, some find a younger Chinese boyfriend, some find a older but richer Chinese boyfriends

So my suggestion for those western men who want to live in China, find a job here, rent a place, to experience the life here, and make some Chinese friends, you will be happy living here, and then try to find the Chinese girl you like, be nice to the girl you like, don't just hear what she told you the fancy stories about her life, but get into her life to observe the real her, be careful to stay away from those gold diggers
 

#2018-07-04 00:43:44 by anonymous17484 @anonymous17484

@Sunshineinthewinter, I really appreciated your reply here, you tell it like it "really" is. Chinese women are just as caluclating, schemeing as the rest of the worlds women. At the end of the day they want a man to take care of them financially and emotionally. 

Question for you: why would a rich or moderately rich Chinese woman settle for a Chinese man when she has the pick of western men? Is it because they want plenty of 3 minute quick sex(younger man) or older rich men that will financially take care of them? 

Your reply also makes one realize that Chinese women in general do not know a thing about Western men and how to interact with them....

The only things/benefits I want from a woman are love, respect, honesty and faithfulness.

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