Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: My (Almost) Perfect Match, Part 3    

By RWByrum
1354 Views | 18 Comments | 2/11/2018 7:14:51 AM
(Showing 11 to 18 of 18) Previous 1 2
#2018-02-14 15:25:29 by RWByrum @RWByrum


If I didn't think you were honest and sincere, I wouldn't have bothered to respond to your comments point by point.  Also, honesty is really the only virtue I claim to have.  I think it is a critically important one, though and one that surprisingly few western men share.  Most western men see absolutely nothing wrong about using women for their own pleasure, some of them even proudly boast of it.  They are also not above lying to women to accomplish it.  And you will not be able to discover within 30 minutes in a coffee shop whether a man is lying to you to get you into bed with him or not.  But several months of online communication could very well at least give you evidence if he is a liar.  This is another thing that never seems to occur to the people championing the superiority of face-to-face meetings over online communication.  With online communication you have a permanent record of the conversation.  You won't have that in a face-to-face meeting.  So, if you do catch a man in a lie at least with online communication you might have a record to back up your claim that he lied.  Face-to-face you would not.  So when you confront the man with his lies he will cover himself by telling still more lies.  Lies that are more insidious because they are designed to cause you to doubt yourself.  He'll claim that he never said that, or you misheard him, or you didn't understand what he said.

#2018-02-14 16:08:38 by RWByrum @RWByrum


No, I wasn't limiting myself to just this one person.  I had been checking the site several times each day looking for more possible candidates and I did contact 4 other women during this time.  It's just that there really weren't that many that I found sufficiently interesting.

#2018-02-14 20:06:35 by melcyan @melcyan

@RWByrum Good luck with whatever path you choose. Thank you for being a breath of fresh air on CLM. I cannot remember any writer on CLM exposing their thoughts processes as openly as you have. Hopefully you have encouraged others to be more vulnerable in the way they write and to reveal their innermost thoughts to others. We all benefit from honest vulnerable words. 

#2018-02-14 20:25:47 by anonymous16886 @anonymous16886

"Two did not read either the kisses or the messages, did not look over my profile and did not respond."

It is possible that they have looked at your profile without you knowing. Blogs can be read without logging in. That means the profiles of any commenter who is not anonymous can be read without revealing that it has been read.

#2018-02-15 23:07:09 by RWByrum @RWByrum


My comments were not intended to be a complaint, a criticism or even an expression of dissatisfaction.  I was simply explaining the situation because it seemed to me that some of the readers were under the false impression that they were reading about an on-going situation when it was not.  As a matter of fact, I much prefer the lag-time between submission and publication.  I don't think that it would be a good thing if my articles were actually published as quickly as I write them.  Besides, I always just assumed that the lag time was driven mostly by time constraints.

#2018-02-15 23:36:14 by RWByrum @RWByrum


This website does have some interesting quirks, doesn't it?  I do know that it is possible for a user to view my profile without me knowing it because Melcyan did that once.  I suspect that this could be accomplished simply by setting your own profile to invisible before viewing the profile.  I'm not sure that they would have gone through the trouble, but it is a distinct possibility.  However, they could not have used the backdoor method you propose because at the end of September I did not yet have a blog and I'm pretty sure I hadn't commented on anyone else's blog yet.

#2018-02-15 23:54:52 by RWByrum @RWByrum


Thank you Melcyan.  Regardless of what happens, I do not intend to abandon this blog.  I'll keep contributing to it for as long as I have anything relevent to say.  I suspect that my circumstances will improve long before I run out of ideas.

#2018-04-01 23:06:31 by oldghost @oldghost

第一次应该写点中文!go to the pain of writing simply in parallel English and Hanzi! And keep it simple!  The first is just to get the ball rolling after all. jian'dan'de简单的简单的会能请到回答

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