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Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: My (Almost) Perfect Match, Part 1

By RWByrum
291 Views | 6 Comments | 1/1/2018 5:26:58 PM

Young woman throwing leaves

     "On These Pages Awaits Your Perfect Match".  Those words appeared at the top of every page whenever you use the browse feature on CLM.  I have to admit that the first time I encountered them I was more than just a little skeptical.  I simply dismissed them as little more than advertising copy.  But within perhaps ten to fifteen minutes I found those words rather unexpectedly validated.  My first action upon joining CLM was to perform a search for women between the ages of 21 and 45.  Within the very first page of search results, I found her, the woman who has ever come closest to matching the profile of my ideal match.

            Her profile did not perfectly match the profile of my ideal match, no one's profile ever does, but hers matched in 31 out of the 33 match criteria listed in the profile.  The two criteria in which she did not match my ideal match were her fluency in English and her preparedness to relocate.  My almost perfect match rated her English proficiency as "some" and her willingness to relocate at "maybe".  Obviously, neither of these slight deviations from perfection were deal-breakers for me.  Furthermore, CLM rated her compatibility at 92%, the highest compatibility rating it has ever given any match.  So far, I have only encountered one other match with a 92% compatibility rating.  Interestingly enough, ALM rated many more of its members at 92% than CLM.  Perhaps ALM was trying to tell me something.

            In terms of age, at 41 she was near the upper end of my age range but in my mind, this contributed immensely to her suitability.  At 41 she was old enough to be appropriately mature while still young enough to enter into motherhood if she wished to have children of her own.  In my last two blog entries, while I was systematically going over the criteria of my ideal match, I only discussed the issue of age rather obliquely, in connection with having children.  This was an oversight but an important one.  Age wasn't really an important issue for me, per se.  Outside of the issue of having children, it was not important at all.

            This woman not only matched my ideal match in 31 out of 33 match criteria and earned a compatibility rating of 92% but she was also one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen in my life.  Naturally, that was my own opinion and I don't seriously expect anyone else to share it.  Unfortunately, I cannot upload a picture of her or even divulge her name, so you'll just have to take my word for it for now.  Hopefully, that will change in the near future but I don't know if I dare to be that optimistic.  At 41 she looked every bit as beautiful as any woman half her age.  Of course, I cannot completely dismiss the possibility that the pictures are all twenty years old, but I have no reason to suspect any such duplicity.  Chinese women age more gracefully than most other women and they owe the retention of their beauty to increased levels of collagen in the subcutaneous tissues of their face.

            I still remember when I took my wife to the driver's license center to obtain her first Pennsylvania driver's license.  A woman there asked me if she was my daughter.  When I answered that she was my wife, the woman wore a scandalized expression on her face.  She obviously took my wife for a sixteen-year-old when she was actually only a couple of months shy of her 29th birthday.  So, yes, I can accept that a 41-year-old Chinese woman could still look as beautiful as a 20-year-old.

            My tastes ran to the utilitarian.  This applied to everything, clothing, furniture, automobiles, housing and even women.  The women who appealed to me the most were those who dressed casually, wore little or no make-up, wore little or no jewelry and did not have their hair dyed or dressed in fancy coiffures.  My almost perfect match posted three photos to her profile and in all three photos she was dressed casually, she did not appear to be wearing any make-up or jewelry and she wore her hair in a simple, utilitarian style.

            I no longer use the search engines on CLM.  My searches were producing too many members who were no longer active participants on the website.  It really didn't do much good to look over the profiles of members who have not logged-in for several years.  Few things were more disappointing than to find an interesting member only to discover that she has not logged-in for the last four or five years.

            Now I use the browse features to find more potential lifemates.  I browse for "newest members" and I also browse for "last online".  This way, the women I encounter will all be current users of CLM.  Browse feature produced pages containing the principle profile pictures of the female members of CLM in order from the last to join the site or the last to log-in depending upon which criteria was chosen with forty profile pictures being displayed on each page.  When I was browsing the "newest members", I only look over the first page.  Whenever I browse the "last online", I often only look over the first page but sometimes I will deeper and explore more pages, depending on my mood and how much time I have to devote to match searching.

            My usual practice in searching for potential lifemates was to peruse the pages produced by the browse feature looking for profile pictures that resonate with me emotionally or at least pique my interest.  I viewed the profiles of those that I did find sufficiently interesting.  Now, if a woman has posted more than one picture to her profile, I will look over those other pictures as well.  There have been times where I found that the secondary pictures were far more interesting to me than the primary picture.

            To be continued...

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 6 of 6) 1
#2017-12-31 13:18:29 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

This is an interesting blog to me, because I have not read as indepth a review of the initial experience on CLM as you have provided. Or if I have, it has been a long time since then. I think this article could well be very helpful for newcomers to get a feel of what to expect and how to turn the experience, as you have, into a very positive one.



Having coined the phrase "On These Pages Awaits Your Perfect Match", I am pleased to see that it may have already worked out to be true for you. I must admit that I intended it to encurage people to take their time in searching for their true life partner, meaning she or he is in these pages if you take your time and search carefully. I didn't intend for members to expect to find someone within the first day on board. However, it will be interesting going forward to hear if the lady you have met so quickly ends up being your lifemate.



On that point, though, I suggest that you take care in your writing about her on your blogs, as she will likely be watching to see what you have to say about her. And my guess is that, like most Chinese women, she will not wish to have her identity, nor her personal life, being publicized for all CLM members to see. I am sure you'll be discreet, but discretion may not be enough to prevent her from becoming upset at seeing her private thoughts and deeds being posted publicly, even if people don't know who you are writing about.



In any event, I'm sure your readers will be interested to hear how this blossoming relationship works out, as am I.  Good luck going forward.



 


#2018-01-02 00:53:46 by anonymous16789 @anonymous16789

Interesting entry from you on your match criteria. Hope it works for you. Sage advice from John in regards to her privacy etc...

#2018-01-02 01:19:51 by RWByrum @RWByrum


@JohnAbbot

I figured that it would be a long search as well.  Partly because I don't fall for just anyone and partly because most anyone doesn't just fall for me.  I have always regarded the coincidence of meeting someone who was just as interested in me as I was in her as being nothing short of a miracle.  I was truly surprised to find her so quickly but then, as you will see in the next part, things have not really been developing, at least not yet.

I have no intention of revealing her identity without her permission.  But this isn't just out of respect for her privacy.  I also don't wish to summon competitors.  I have already revealed as much about her as I intend.  I have taken to referring to her as "my almost perfect match"  so that I don't have to reveal any more.  Also, I don't intend to reveal any more about her than what I have disclosed here.

Furthermore, any communications I may receive from her I regard as strictly private.  Excellent advice, nevertheless.

#2018-01-02 15:04:12 by RWByrum @RWByrum


@anonymous16789

Thank you!  I am rather optimistic about the situation.  And indeed, John always does give the best advice.

#2018-01-05 21:46:42 by sandy339 @sandy339

Sorry for your missing of the match with a 92% compatibility rating, usually the better ones were chosen quickly(rofl) Keep on writing and more women will know you better, which is also your best shot here, Good Luck and keep the name and pics secretly at first and share the part you could and want to share. Some people are really nice and kind to give your sage advice(y), but at the same time protect your and other's privacy and heart, hehe, like  Satter put it "Hell is other people" some people are really so8) Good Luck again and thanks for writing here.

 

#2018-01-06 14:05:41 by RWByrum @RWByrum


@sandy339

Ah, but you see, Sandy, I'm not yet convinced that I have missed her.  This will be a lot clearer once the other three parts of this are posted here.  I also see that you've deduced my ulterior motive for having this blog!  :o  Thanks for the encouragement, Sandy.  I intend to keep posting here until I run out of useful things to say.

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