Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women? First Understand Happiness    

By RWByrum
3788 Views | 40 Comments | 11/16/2017 12:12:14 PM
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#2017-11-23 13:41:59 by melcyan @melcyan


Some of the known forms of cancers are presently incurable. Some of the new cancers yet to evolve will be incurable. Evolution makes cancer, not man. Cancer is a natural part of life on Earth.

Google these words "cancer is an unfortunate by-product of the way evolution works." if you want to get improve your scientific knowledge on cancer.

I try to minimise my cancer risk at bay by eating well, sleeping well, exercising well, meditating well, avoiding the sun and by using the best available scientific knowledge on cancer. It is inevitable that we will die one day. More important than minimising my risk of cancer is my willing to live each day to the fullest and my choice to be happy,


#2017-11-24 06:44:41 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@paulfox1  Obviously that's precisely what she wants you to think ;)

#2017-11-24 06:58:21 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@QinQL  Thank you!  I greatly appreciate your comments. 

The ENT doctor was blaming me for waiting so long.  In fact, I was dangerously close reaching the point where the cancer could not be treated.  The doctors' reactions were related to how much experience they had with cancer.  The doctor with the most experience had the least reaction while the one with the least experience had to biggest reaction. 

#2017-11-24 07:03:02 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@melcyan   Thanks!  Yes, you are absolutely right.  You do have to constantly work at keeping happy because life is constantly trying to deprive you of it.  In fact, one of the major motivations for writing this piece was to remind myself of this because of the problems I am dealing with right now.

#2017-11-24 14:54:57 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Wow!  When I said I had a few questions to ask after reading your blog, but I'd save them til after people had commented, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Especially because since then, so much has been written on here by way of comments, adding to the milieu, that I am struggling to remember some of my original questions.

Added to that, since your blog was posted we've developed a bug in the system and now it is very difficult to post the blogs and impossible to post photos, so the web developer is currently trying to resolve those issues.

And finally, one comment in particular, that of anonymous16627 - has so confused me that I can't think of much else. So I am going to respond to that comment now.

@anonymous16627 - there is nothing about this blog post that anyone thinking reasonably could possibly find either extremely offensive or obtuse.

First, it was not written for any 3 year old to read and assess, but for adults capable of reasonably assessing it based on both their education and their life experiences. Perhaps you should go back and read it through the eyes of your adult self instead of your 3 year old self.

Second, it pretty clearly is not intended to address people with physical handicaps that prevent them from being happy. Just as a writer suggesting to people, who are so out of shape they are unhealthy, that they should consider getting out and walking everyday is not suggesting that quadrapelegics should get out and walk everyday.

Of course, it may not be valid to tell someone who has suffered from the age of 3 with a physical handicap preventing himself from enjoying happiness that he should just "decide to be happy", but such a person is maybe one in a million, and in a blog meant for the vast majority of people, a writer can hardly start listing the exceptions to what he is saying.

It simply goes without saying that he is talking to those who have no reason beyond their control for being unhappy.

Third, regarding some of the samples you raise that you think supports your criticism, I don't find them valid at all. 

Poor people - it your poverty makes you unhappy, then get to work and work your way out of your poverty. If you're not willing to do that, then kick back and find ways to enjoy a life of poverty.

Cancer victims - if you had lived a healthy lifestyle, eaten healthy food and worked to be physically fit, there is a better than 80% chance you would not have cancer now. If you go to work now and live a very healthy lifestyle, eat the very best, cancer fighting foods, and find a doctor who understands and has developed expertise in the doctrine that nutrition is the best medicine, you have a very good chance of beating your cancer now. If you cancer is so far gone that nothing can save you, then the best thing you can do for yourself is will yourself to be happy so you can enjoy the last few days of your life.

Homeless people - if your homelessness is causing you to be unhappy, then assess what in life is causing you to be homeless, and do what it takes to fix it so you can aquire a home and thereby find happiness.

The whole point of what Roger is saying is that happiness is a state of mind, and you can choose to be happy by choosing to do the things and to think the thoughts that, in your circumstances, will make you happy, whatever those circumstances are. 

Roger, one question I do recall wondering while reading your blog, is "Do you think that being happy is the most important thing in one's life?" or are there more important things than being happy.

By way of example: I am happily walking along a beautiful beach when I come upon 3 armed men terroizing in the worst way a group of women and children. They clearly intend to rape and murder the women and enslave the children to who knows what end. None of these peole have seen me.

What is more important here, my happiness, which I can easly preserve by simply waking away, or the possible happiness of these other people, which I have a very small chance of saving if I intervene?

#2017-11-25 08:32:04 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@melcyan  My oncologist also recommends taking one aspirin a day and drinking grape juice.

#2017-11-25 09:58:56 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@JohnAbbot  First John, I want to thank you for responding to the anonymous comment.  I had decided to refuse to comment out of principle.  While I consider the ability to post anonymously an important feature for those who need that anonymity to speak candidly or avoid harrassment, I also consider using it to shield your own identity while attacking someone else with impunity to be a blatant abuse.  Also, I simply did not really trust myself to maintain the necessary calmness to preserve my dignity.  Sometimes, simply ignoring a person is the best possible response.

To answer your question, yes, I regard being happy as the most important thing of all.  Your state of mind is the filter through which you experience the world, so it influences everything you do, everything you say and everything you feel.  Being happy greatly improves your quality of life in every way and also the quality of life of everyone around you.  It greatly enhances your relationships.  I would even go so far as to claim that it makes the food taste better.

Now to answer your hypothetical question.  No person who is truly happy would do nothing in the face of the scenario you describe.  However, there are a great deal more options in that scenario than simply charging in to the rescue and walking away and doing nothing.  Much would depend on whether you were carrying a gun and had the requisite skill to use it effectively.  Much would also depend on the number of assailants and how well they were armed.  Notifying the authorities would be the minimum which a happy person would be willing to accept.  If you have a mobile phone, then you would need to call the police immediately and remain on the line to describe the situation as it unfolds.  The happy man will do everything in his power to help the victims and to ensure that the perpetrators are captured, but he will not necessarily feel the need to risk his own life while doing so.  Remaining at the discreet distance and observing as much as possible is also a good option.  Also, coming to the aid of the victims after the attack is something else which the happy man would do.  No person worthy of being called happy would ever derive or maintain that happiness at the expense of others.

Now my ex-wife showed me a video shot by a closed-circuit security camera in China showing a 2-year-old girl wander into the street.  She was promptly struck by a van in such a way that the front wheel ran over the girl's entire body, including her head.  The driver was aware of what he had just done.  He even stopped momentarily.  But he did not get out of his van to assist the girl.  He simply drove away and in the process ran over her with her rear wheel as well.  13 people walked by and none of them stopped to render assistance or check on the girl's welfare.  Worst part of it was the fact that the girl was still conscious.  I could see her moving her arms in the video.  Then a truck came down the road and ran over the girl again.  The girl died of her injuries 6 days later.  Both drivers were prosecuted but it seemed that their punishment was unusually lenient.  In America, the driver of the van would have been prosecuted for vehicular manslaughter and probably would be sentenced to 10 years in prison.  The driver of the truck would have been prosecuted for vehicular assault and would most likely have received a 5 year prison term.  All 13 of the passersby would have been prosecuted for depraved indifference to human life and might have each received between 1 and 3 years in prison.  Now, I ask you.  Were either of those drivers or any of those 13 passersby happy people?  I seriously doubt it.

#2017-11-26 12:36:24 by sandy339 @sandy339

Hi Roger 

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Sorry for your cancer and last marriage, and I ever watched a program, it shows the opinion we might better live with cancer of course  certain treatment need to be done. Good Luck!

As to happieness, like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, some people might feel happy only when they have enough food, some people might never feel happy, because they are too ambitious to satify. But I am really intestested to know what kind of staff mean to you as happiness. 

Take care and good luck!




#2017-11-27 09:10:55 by RWByrum @RWByrum

@sandy339  Thanks Sandy!  Fortunately, my cancer was caught early enough that the doctors were able to cure me.  While happiness would certainly be difficult to maintain for someone who didn't have enough food to eat, it would still be possible.  Most people probably couldn't manage it, though.  However, there are also people who are never happy no matter how much they have.  Happiness to me is serenity.  Peace of mind and calmness and joy.  I really can't describe it in any other way.

#2017-11-28 00:32:14 by QinQL @QinQL

@paulfox1, I did an internet search for 'Royal Rife'. It just looks like what you say about it. After finishing reading Doctor Rife’s story briefly, I feel very sorry. Could I say production relations still have  hampered technological progress and human development even in America that is the most developed  country now? 

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