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Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: Beauty

By RWByrum
532 Views | 23 Comments | 1/14/2018 3:40:36 PM

Beautiful Sunset

When I was writing about my ideal match it never occurred to me that anyone would seriously object when I said that she would be both beautiful and sexy.  But then again, I had forgotten what I had learned in speech communication class:  that we interpret all forms of communication, even written communication, through the prism of our beliefs, experiences, emotions, and prejudices.  Thus, the reader will never perceive the message in the same way that it was originally conceived by the writer.  Words such as 'beauty' and 'sexy' are far more open to interpretation than others.



What is beauty?  It is the emotional response we have to our sensory perceptions.  It is found in the colors of a well-executed painting.  It is in the wings of the butterfly, the feathers of the bird, the petals of the flower.  It is in the colors of the sky at sunset and in the way the light passes through the leaves of the trees in a forest.  It is in the tones of musical instruments.  It is in the moonlight on a snow-covered landscape.  It is in the smell of freshly baked bread or freshly cut grass.  It is in the infant's smile and in the face of an attractive woman.  It is in the words of a poem or in the elegant turn of a phrase.  True beauty defies definition.  It can only be experienced.



To me, the emotional response is the essence of beauty.  It is what moves you, whether it moves you to laughter or to tears doesn't really matter, just so long as it moves you.  But beauty does not permit itself to only be experienced fleetingly.  A casual glance or a momentary exposure to it just will not do.  One doesn't just glance at beauty, one gazes upon it.  One doesn't just hear beauty, one listens to it.  One doesn't just smell beauty, one inhales it fully.



Who are the beautiful women?  They are the ones who cause me to stare at them rather than merely glance at them.  They are the ones whose profiles I visit again and again, not just once or twice but ten times, twenty times, sometimes as many as a hundred times.  They are the ones I just don't want to take my eyes off of.  Why some women and not others?  I have no idea.  I do know that there have been times when I have viewed multiple pictures of the same woman and found her irresistibly compelling in some pictures and completely uninteresting in others.  My reactions are often influenced by what she is wearing, how her hair is styled and the type of pose that she is in.  But there are also times when I can't really see any difference between a picture which I find compelling and one which I do not.



For decades Hollywood has been promoting some of their female stars as great beauties and sex symbols.  Greta Garbo, Betty Grable, Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Ursula Andress, Elizabeth Taylor, Barbara Bach, Bo Derek, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie have all received this treatment.  To be perfectly honest, I never found any of them particularly attractive.  I care even less for super-models.  Most of them seem too bony and sickly to me.



It has often been said of movie stars and super-models that they are glamorous.  This is fascinating given the etymology of the word.  Glamorous is the adjectival form of glamour which in turn was derived from a Scottish word for 'spell'.  Glamour was originally believed to be a form of false beauty created by an illusion.  So, a glamorous person was originally one whose beauty was completely illusory.  That's why I find it a particularly apt word when applied to Hollywood stars and super-models.


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(Showing 1 to 10 of 23) 1 2 3 More...
#2018-01-14 15:40:24 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Your discussion of beauty reinforces for me my own experiences that the women in my life that I have found to be the most beautiful have rarely been the ones that possessed what would be described as "universal beauty". In saying that I am understanding that phrase, when applied to women, to mean that there are certain traits a woman might have that almost all humans, when witnessing those traits, would agree that the woman who possesses them is beautiful.

I am not saying there are no women who are universally beautiful, and I think there are probably many who all men, including me, would agree are beautiful, but for me the women I find to be the most beautiful are not the ones that might be universally admired for their beauty,

And I agree with you that a woman being beautiful and a woman being sexy is not the same thing, and further, that a woman who is less than beautiful can be very sexy, while a woman who is stunningly beautiful may not be sexy at all. 

For me, an example of a movie star who I believe all men would agree was universally beautiful, but was not particularly sexy, was Audrey Hepburn (younger guys will likely have to look her up on Google).. Her beauty radiated off her and was undeniable, but at the same time she looked almost as if to just touch her might shatter her. Like a Ming Vase, you might enjoy staring at her and appreciating the view, but you were not likely to ever think of her as a potentially great roll in the hay.

I have dated women who were 9's or even 10's, but the women I have loved and felt deeply passionate about have all been 6's, 7's or 8's.

What say the rest of you? 

#2018-01-14 17:09:30 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

@JohnAbbot: In addition Hollywood actresses who were not particularly sexy  (Audrey Hepburn, to you), your comment got me thinking about Hollywood actresses I do find sexy. Julia Roberts was someone I never saw as "roll-in-the-hay" sexy. Sandra Bullock did it much more for me. I'd be curious for others' thoughts should anyone choose to share.

#2018-01-14 20:48:00 by melcyan @melcyan

@JohnAbbot

Men vary considerably in what they consider beautiful or sexy. Audrey Hepburn was definitely sexy to me.  The actress that I considered to be the sexiest was also the most unattainable - Jodie Foster.

 

@RWByrum

I rank Jodie Foster and Audrey Hepburn way above Greta Garbo, Betty Grable, Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Ursula Andress, Elizabeth Taylor, Barbara Bach, Bo Derek, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie.

#2018-01-14 22:25:28 by RWByrum @RWByrum


@JohnAbbot

I have long suspected that Hollywood promoted certain female stars as "sex goddesses" because of their rather minimal acting talent.  Audrey Hepburn was not only exceptionally beautiful but also very talented.  So, Hollywood saw no need to promote her as a sex symbol.

#2018-01-15 12:54:09 by Map1 @Map1

Since most of my students are girls in the English Department and  that the textbook series that university gives me has a unit on the topic of beauty I teach a couple of classes on the subject. Even young women here have body issues, despite the fact that most of them are very slim. Of use I use one of the old adages, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and they discuss what it means. We might compare the standards of what's considered beautiful in China, US and other countries. I show them some glamour magazines from the US. I also teach them a great song by Michael W. Smith, "Picture Perfect" which he wrote for his wife. Check it out online. I never thought that I'd be attracted to a woman with a light complexion as it's considered very beautiful in this country. My wife has this type of skin color and I consider her one of the most beautiful woman I've ever met or dated.

#2018-01-15 17:03:20 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Cameron Diaz and her from "Friends'

#2018-01-16 15:12:29 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@woaizhongguo - Julia Roberts = unnattractive, not sexy, and IMHO not even much of an actress. Sandra Bullock = someone who is enjoyable to watch in the right movie, but not that sexy and not a great actress. She would make a great female friend.

@melcyan - I agree that Audrey Hepburn was incredibly talented and I loved watching her in a movie, but I just found to seem to pure to be sexy. Jodie Foster I consider to be one of the greatest actresses of all time, but I never found her sexy until the night during the early 90's when I lived in LA, and an actor  friend and I were coming off a night of drinking and partying by having a 4 in the morning breakfast at an IHOP on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood. In walked Jodie Foster in about the same shape we were in, but with several stunning young women draped all over her and competing for who was going to get to be first to pleasure her, if not right there in the IHOP, then shorlty after they departed. That turned me on!

@RWByrum - I think that some of the "Sex Goddesses" were totally devoid of talent, but others were rich in acting ability but it got lost in the "Sex Goddess" image.

@paulfox1 - what about them?

@Map1 - nice comment but I suggest that you're failing to fall into line and join the rest of us in being male chauvininst pigs, thereby dating yourself, and us.

I vote that we all come back here in the next couple of days with our list of the 10 famous females (they needn't all be movie stars) who we spent the most time with in our wildest fantasies. 

Who's in?

#2018-01-16 17:22:44 by anonymous16813 @anonymous16813

Not in any particular order:

1. My wife

2. Esther

3. Helen of Troy

4. Zhang Zi yi

5. Cleopatra

6. Jane Russel

7. Bing Bing

8. Tyra Banks

9. Cindy Crawford

10. Halle Berry

 

                                                                                                            

 

#2018-01-16 23:18:37 by anonymous16815 @anonymous16815

Audry Hepburn Yes! Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts no! Jodie Foster great actress but not sexy nor beautiful. Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Amanda Seyfried, all very good actresses and all very stunning!! Sandro Oh is sexy, and very hot but not beautiful.

Beauty as mentioned above is subjective. If you want to find what you feel is a very beautiful Chinese women there are an enourmous amount of beautiful women on this site as well roaming all over mainland China! Beautiful Chinese women know they are and attract most men, they know this and have their choice just like in the west. Very few beautiful women are not vain, vanity in beautiful Chinese women runs rampant for the most part. I call them Little Empresses 

From what I can gather from your blog, you have had 17 total contacts so far, of them you have only found one that comes anywhere near your requirements, not a very good average and makes your task a bit more difficult but definitely can happen. 

When it comes to attracting women I always present myself in the best possible way while being totally honest about myself so as to attract more women thereby increasing my opportunties to meet the kind of woman I am looking for. My Dad told me when I was a young lad in my late teens "son remember there is a woman(girl) out there that is looking just for you, to her you are handsome" i.e. someone(chinese woman) will find us handsome even if we think we are not.

Good luck dude!

#2018-01-17 00:11:38 by sharonshi @sharonshi

Good reading! Thank you! "Glamorous" explanation is impressed. 

I like most of the female super stars you listed. I appreciate gym fitness of the Victory Secret super models. I am keeping doing excersise to shape like that. Though, I prefer man of a little belly. Bony is not my type. 

However, a man becomes irresistibly attractive once I find him of eyes with tenderness, sense of houmor and an interesting brain. 

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