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Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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Dark Shadow of My Life    

By Barry Pittman
4879 Views | 70 Comments | 5/23/2018 11:39:42 AM
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#2018-05-24 19:41:39 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


@JohnAbbot

Of course I didn't tell her to simply 'get over it'. Nor did I suggest she attend 'anger-management' counseling.

I simply explained to her that her anger was achieving nothing.

 

#2018-05-25 09:44:04 by fj1383 @fj1383

@Barry1

I admire your braveness for sharing such a dark side of your life and I personally think most of us normal men tend to suffer from anger outbursts quite often, it's part of our nature, our high level of testosterone which can make us great lovers yet great assh*les too. I just believe it depends on how we decide to vent our anger out, there lies the key to having a long-lasting relationship with our lovely ladies.

Once I also lost who I considered the first love of my life due to my moody and condescending behavior.  Luckily I was only 24 and my then-41-yr-old polish girlfriend pushed me to get some theraphy which helped me a lot in understanding how to control my anger. Things didn't work out with her but we still remain friends. 

So I totally understand you Barry and I'm looking forward to knowing how you got over your anger issues. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

#2018-05-25 10:07:30 by anonymous17261 @anonymous17261

hi Barry1 @Barry1

You wrote

"One day maybe you'd like to write a few words and share with the rest of us some of the experiences you've had in meeting ladies here?  Perhaps you'll even make a trip to China itself, meeting someone special? What a grand story that would make!"

Hey I might just do that mate :-)  I have a long story going back to 2005 when I met and married a beautiful younger than me Chinese lady, what has happened since that year would sure make for a good story.  A story which is not yet finished as I am back here on CLM for more punishment :-) in life.  hahahaha.

I promise because of your encouraging words and your bravery in your article I will put something together for all to laugh, cry and enjoy.

All the best mate.

#2018-05-25 10:18:20 by Barry1 @Barry1


@paulfox1

"you have changed as a person. What caused that change?....... if you want to reverse it you need to try your best to find out what it was."


Good question, Paul.

Please peruse Part 2 of this blog when it's eventually published.  I hope you will find answers there.  Though if you don't please tell me!   (think)

#2018-05-25 10:26:04 by Barry1 @Barry1


@fj1383

"I just believe it depends on how we decide to vent our anger out, there lies the key to having a long-lasting relationship with our lovely ladies."



Thanks for your interesting comments, fj1383.

Although you mentioned, "it depends on how we decide to vent our anger out". This however was the big problem.  I was NOT able to make a rational decision when an unsettling temper tantrum would from out of nowhere suddenly hit me. I was powerless, even though from moment to moment, deep down I had a keen insight into what was going down. But even knowing this wasn't enough for me to be able to control myself properly.

 

An uncontrolled fit of rage is shocking. Thank God I never became violent, but believe me, some men do involuntarily go to this next level!   :o:o

#2018-05-25 15:32:24 by Barry1 @Barry1


@anonymous17261

 

"I promise because of your encouraging words and your bravery in your article I will put something together for all to laugh, cry and enjoy."

 

Hey, great stuff!  I'm really looking forward to this!

 

In like manner, I may search the depths of my soul to see if I can also find some words down there simmering quietly, some tales to tell, to reciprocate, Anon17261  :)

 

Have a beer on me, mate!  (beer)

#2018-05-27 01:07:39 by QinQL @QinQL


@Barry1 不知道为什么你的博客里的图片还是这么......灰暗。我的英语有限,没能阅读你的文字,虽然还是每天学点英语。你也让自己忙一点,比如学点中文吧。这样就没有时间想不开心的事情了。

#2018-05-27 01:08:12 by anonymous17274 @anonymous17274

Barry, many women suffer from these anfer outbursts but because we as men have been told/brainwashed that women do not have bad anger issues, if we saw it we would sympathise with it, show compassion because thats what we were trained to do. We have been trained since birth to empathise with women.

Now as we get older and men in general are starting to see that women, courtesy of the ill advised women's lib movement which is hell bent on destroying men, western family culture and values, they want to be men, control us and demasculine us, because of this movement men are starting to take off the proverbial blinders and see what is really happening in their culture. Next time you are out in public take a good look around with wide open receptive eyes and ears and you will see it happening all around, especially check out youtube and the huge amounts of non white women getting into all out brawls in high schools, malls, fast food restaurants etc..women losing total control of their tempers and becoming out of control violent.

I have seen many chinese women out of control, viscious arguments, fights etc during my many trips to China, you just gotta keep your eyes wide open, it is there.

I dont care if anyone doesn't agree with my reply at this point in time, because as this situation gets worse and it will, you will eventially see it and agree.

Thank you George Sorros and Jerusalem!

#2018-05-27 15:43:09 by Barry1 @Barry1


@QinQL

 

Nihao dear sister.  It has been a long time since we last spoke.

 

The pictures on my article are deliberately in black and white and somewhat disturbing, to parallel the serious and somewhat disturbing content of the information contained therein.

 

I do have many things to do in my life as you've suggested.  I am always busy, it seems. I hope one day to visit China again, for example. Even though I have given up trying to learn Chinese, as it's just too difficult. 

 

Many blessings to you.  (f)(sun)(f)

#2018-05-27 15:51:49 by Barry1 @Barry1


@anonymous17274

 

"many women suffer from these anfer outbursts but because we as men have been told/brainwashed that women do not have bad anger issues"

 

I would be interested to hear @JohnAbbot's view on this, Anon17274. John has long experience with Chinese ladies, probably more than any other person on this website.

 

But yes, when I reflect back, if you remember my relationship with Lily, it was she who on every occasion, lost her temper until finally booting me out of her life altogether. This confirms your view.

 

My ex Chinese wife sometimes had a bad temper also.  Yet not as bad as me when I suffered from the terrible anger management issues.  Overall though, she did lose her temper from time to time.

 

When living in China, I also did see quite a number of Chinese ladies, speaking and shouting to eachother rather loudly.  It was a common occurrence.

 

I guess it's normal for every person to lose their cool from time to time - women certainly are included here.  I'm noticing more and more female fights on the tv news also, compared to say, twenty or thirty years ago.

 

"Thank you George Sorros and Jerusalem!"

 

I'm not sure what Sorros and Jerusalem has to do with all of this though?  :^)

 

 

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