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Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Culture Shock 文化冲击    

By Imi
11976 Views | 49 Comments | 3/18/2014 2:47:48 PM

Moving to a new country can definitely make you feel like you are not part of the crowd.

If you follow my blog – My Love for Lily - you already know that I'm an immigrant from Hungary and I live in Canada. I'd like to share with you my own experiences about culture shock. So to be clear, this is not part of the My Love for Lily series.



You experience Culture Shock when you move to a new country or environment. They say it has at least three phases.



The first phase is when you arrive to your new country and everything seems to be perfect and they call it “the Honeymoon phase”.



In my case, I experienced my “Honeymoon” by myself. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it very much!



I was fascinated by Canada, everything seemed to be perfect. When I had the time I visited places and after I called my friends back home in my native country and told them what a beautiful country Canada was. Everything was new to me and felt myself like a tourist. My “Honeymoon phase” lasted for 2-3 weeks.



After 2-3 weeks, I didn't feel myself like a tourist anymore; I'd become an expat. My brain got tired of too much new information that it had to process and I realized even in Canada you need to work to survive. I entered the second phase called “Anxiety” or “Culture Shock“.      



My biggest challenge was the language barrier. I was frustrated because people didn't understand my awkward English and I didn't understand them either. They spoke too fast and my brain wasn't able to process everything. Even the TV and radio were talking non-stop in English and at the end of the day it sounded like there was a beehive in my head buzzing and laughing at me because I wasn't able to understand this foreign language that everybody spoke around me.



I studied English when I was young, but never used it in Hungary and forgot a lot. I wasn't really sure if it was a good idea to leave Hungary. I felt isolated because I wasn't able to express myself properly and was afraid of speaking to Canadians. And with isolation came depression too, I wasn't able to sleep properly, I felt myself stupid compare to other people and I was homesick.



Then, the first winter came. You need to know that I lived at this time in Toronto. Probably, some of you have friends or relatives who live there and you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Canadian winter which sometimes cuts into your bones with cold and windchill of -30 to -40 Celsius. I survived -39 one time there. However, the summer is very hot, sometimes +40 to +42 with  humidity. At that time I really thought about going back to Hungary, but I'm glad I didn't and now I am very happy living in Vancouver with the average +5 Celsius in winter time.



My second phase of my culture shock lasted almost a year. It can last a shorter period of time, it totally depends on the person and how open she/he is to accepting her/his new environment.



I didn't give up and little by little I began to accept my new country and entered to “Adaption” phase.



I built new relationships mostly with people from my ESL( English as a Second Language ) class and started feeling myself less isolated. And when I felt comfortable enough speaking in English I made some Canadian born friends as well.



It was a slow process and it required constant learning, but it also pushed me to be more open to different cultures and evaluate myself.



My suggestions to the Chinese and Asian women who are really serious about moving to a new country is to try to read a lot about your future country and educate yourself. Get ready to accept not just a foreign husband, but a new country and new lifestyle as well. You don't need to change completely of course you are still going to be you. What I mean is like a marriage needs compromises, so does moving to a new country.



Try to learn if you can work in the same field as you currently work in or you have to go to school for a diploma to get the same job that you have right now. Try to learn the language and ask your boyfriend or future husband to teach you and speak to you in English or whatever language he speaks in.



What really helped me in my English study was I started reading out loud magazines and newspapers. I didn't understand every word, but somehow my brain registered the basic meaning of the article and when I got to the point where I understood 80% of the words that I read, I switched to reading novels.



There was another way that helped my brain to pick up the rhythm of English language, I left the TV turned on when I was at home (it didn't sound like a beehive to me anymore), usually on CNN ( news channel ) and even though I was doing something else at home,  my brain and ears were still learning by listening the TV.



There was a turning point for my brain after two years of being in Canada when it gave in to English language and started to think in the English way. I started to dream in English for the first time. Every dialogue in my dreams happened in English. This forum is full of grammar mistakes, but in my dreams I speak much better English.



So, my point is try to listen to a lot of English news for the official English language and watch American movies for the slang or street language that most of English speaking people use in their everyday lives.  But don't just listen, don't forget to speak in English, practice it whenever you have the chance! Don't be shy! Men like women with a cute accent.



Probably, the biggest problem a newcomer has to face is to find a job. Try to look at this like you have to start a new life in a new country and it comes with a new education as well. Canada doesn't really accept any diploma that was received outside of North America.



First, if you don't speak the language on an acceptable level you'll need to go to English schools. It will give you a diploma in English. This English diploma is necessary if you want to apply for a job or want to study in colleges or universities.



There are a lot of Chinese people in Vancouver who don't even speak any English at all. Probably, they don't do the kind of job what they want to do either and they have to work for someone who speaks only in Chinese to them. 



I would really recommend you to go to school first and then get a job. In most parts of Vancouver the building signs are in English and Chinese and offices and banks are looking for employees who speak both languages.



The best job for a Chinese immigrant right now is in real estate. I have a friend who is a real estate agent, but she is from Europe. She said if she was a Chinese woman probably she would be a millionaire by now because of the high number of Chinese buyers who usually deal only with Chinese realtors. A realtor usually makes 5% of the selling price of the property. The average house price in Vancouver right now is $ 825,000. You do the math!



There is another culture shock, they call it “Reverse Culture Shock”, which you experience when you go back for the first time to your native country after you left.  I went back to Hungary after 10 years for the first time in 2005 to visit my mother and sister.



To make a long story short, I was very disappointed and I wanted to come back to Canada in the middle of my stay. The people were very depressed and rude to each other. The poor people envied the rich and complained about everything. The people who had money  showed their wealth off to the rest of the people by buying bigger, better cars, building huge houses and they didn't even use half of their “American style” mansions.



I felt like people were in a contest, who could get the better, bigger and more expensive stuff. In my opinion, life is not about what you have, it's about how you live and who you spend it with, how much you can gain from it morally and spiritually.



My old classmates told me “you live in Canada, you eat with big spoon”. They were talking  like I don't even need to work just go outside and harvest the money from the trees in Canada. 



I still miss my native country sometimes, but I know I wouldn't be able to live there anymore. People have changed, the whole country has changed for the worse since I left. The only thing that hadn't changed throughout the years was the taste of my mother's meals. I gained 4 kg in two weeks, I wasn't able to say “no” to her and to the taste of my childhood and my memories.



And the women . . .  I don't know what happened in 2005 in Hungary, but 70 to 80% of women on the street wore pink. Not just a piece of pink accessory or clothes, but their full attire was pink.



So, after two weeks of living in a pink bubble gum atmosphere I returned to Canada and I felt this was my home, where most rich Canadian people walk in jeans and t-shirts on ordinary days.  Where the poor people still smile at you on the streets and the cashier in the store asks you “How are you?” with a big smile on her face.



So, I'm smiling too because I have arrived, I am home, here in Canada.



Good luck to everybody to move to another country and trust me when I say this, I didn't regret it at all to stay in my new country even if staying here was very difficult sometimes at the beginning.



CLM Note: This blog article has now been generously translated by CLM member Marrisa. We want to thank Marrisa very much for providing her efforts so that all the Chinese members can read and appreciate this article.  Other members also volunteered to translate this for us, but Marrisa actually posted the completed translation before even volunteering. However, thanks to all of you who offered, you are great CLM members.   这篇博客将由CLM会员Marrisa陆续翻译成中文,我们非常感谢arrrisa精彩的翻译,能让更多的女会员更好地理解原文。



文化冲击



如果你在阅读我的博客系列—我对百合的爱—你就会知道我是来自匈牙利的移民,现在居住在加拿大。我愿意和你们分享有关于文化冲击的我本人的经历。需要澄清的是,这篇文章并不是“我对百合的爱”的一部分

当你移居到一个新的国家或环境的时候,你就会经历文化冲击,人们说关于文化冲击至少有三个阶段。

第一个阶段是“蜜月期”,当你刚刚到达一个新的国家的时候,所有的事情对于你来说都是如此的完美。

对于我来说呢,我自己一个人度过了我的“蜜月期”。但是,无论如何,我都乐在其中,非常的享受这个阶段。

我被加拿大深深迷住,每一件事情都是如此的完美。我一有时间就会去参观不同的地方,然后给在我家乡的朋友打电话,告诉他们加拿大是多么的漂亮。每件事对于我来说都是新鲜的,我感觉自己就象是一个兴奋的游客。我的“蜜月期”大约延续了2-3个星期。

2-3个星期之后,我不再感觉象是个游客,我觉得自己象是一个被流放者。我的大脑非常的疲劳,它必须处理太多的新信息,我意识到即使是在加拿大,我也必须出去工作以便可以生存下去。我进入了第二个阶段“焦虑期”或是“文化冲击期”

我最大的挑战是语言障碍。我非常的沮丧,因为人们听不懂我说的难听的英语,同样我也听不懂他们。他们说得太快,我的大脑根本跟不上。甚至是电视和广播,也在无穷无尽的说着英文。每一天结束的时候,我的脑子里就象住着一个蜂窝,不停的嗡嗡嗡,就象不停的在嘲笑我,嘲笑我竟然不懂得身边所有人都在讲的这门外国语言。

年轻的时候,我学过英文,但是在匈牙利,我从来没有用过它,我已经忘得差不多了。我甚至不能确定离开匈牙利是否真的正确。我感觉到如此的孤单就象被隔离了一样,因为我没有能力正确的表达自己,也很害怕跟加拿大人讲话。随之而来的是沮丧抑郁。我没有办法睡好觉。和其他人相比,我觉得自己是如此的愚蠢。我非常的想念家乡。

接着下着,我在加拿大的第一个冬天来临了。你得知道当时的我住在多伦多。或许,你们之中有人有朋友或亲戚住在那里。这样的话,你就会明白我在说什么。我说的是加拿大的冬天有时是如此的寒冷,寒风刺骨,冰入你的骨头,气温只有零下30到40摄氏度。在多伦多的时候,我曾经经历过零下39摄氏度。然而,夏天却非常的酷热,有时候是高达40到42摄氏度,而且是湿热。在那个时候,我真的很想很想回到匈牙利去。然而,我很庆幸我当时并没有回去。现在,我非常幸福的生活在温哥华,冬天的时候平均气温为5摄氏度。

我的文化冲击的第二个阶段延续了差不多整整一年。它也可以是一段比较短的时间,这完全取决于不同的个人和他或她对于新环境的开放和接受程度。

我没有放弃,慢慢的,我开始接受我的新国家,我进入了第三个阶段“适应期”

一开始,我交的朋友大多数是我在ESL班(英语为第二语言)的同学,并慢慢感觉到自己并不是那么的孤立。当我开始适应用英文交流的时候,我同时交了一些出生在加拿大的朋友。

这是一个缓慢的过程,而且需要不停的学习,但是它也同时促使我对不同的文化更加的开放,更加客观的评估自己。

对于那些认真的考虑移居到一个新的国家去的中国和亚洲的女性,我的建议是,尽量多的去了解你将移居去的国家的文化,准备好去接受的不仅仅是一个外国丈夫,同时也是一个新的国家和一种新的生活方式。当然你没有必要去完全的改变,你仍然是你。我的意思是,就象一个婚姻需要妥协让步一样,移居去一个新的国家也一样。

努力去了解你是否可以在你目前工作的行业中找到工作,或是你是否需要重回学校取得证书以便你有资格找到跟你目前工作一样的工作。努力去学习新的语言,请你的男朋友或未婚夫教你,让他们尽可能多的跟你讲英文或是其他的任何一种他的语言。

真正对我的英语学习起到帮忙的是大声的朗读杂志和报纸。我并不认得每个单词,但是某种程度上我的脑子开始理解文章的基本意思。当我理解了我所读文章的80%的单词的时候,我开始转向阅读小说。还有另外一种方法帮助我建立起英文的旋律,当我在家的时候我总是开着电视(电视的声音我现在听起来不再象是蜂窝了),通常开着CNN频道(新闻频道)。虽然有时我在家正做着其他的事情,但是我的脑子和耳朵仍然在听着电视,仍然在学习。

我在加拿大两年之后,我的脑子迎来了它向英文让步并开始用英文思考的转折点。我第一次开始在睡梦中说英文。我梦中的每一个对话都是英文对话。虽然生活中说着各种的语法错误,但是,在我的梦中,我说着特别棒的英文。

所以,我的建议是,尽可能多的听英语新闻学习标准英语,尽可能多的看美国电影学习大多数英语国家人们在日常生活中使用的俚语和街头语言。但是不要只是听,别忘了还要说,只要你一有机会就抓住练习说!不要害羞!男人喜欢有可爱口音的女人。

也许,对于一个新移民来说,面临的最大问题是如何找到一份工作。试着去把它看做一个你必须在一个新的国家开始新的生活的问题,随之而来的还有教育的问题。加拿大并不接受你在北美洲以外拿到的证书。

首先,如果你的英语口语达不到一个可接受的流利的程度,你得重新回到语言学校学习。它会给你发一个英语证书。如果你想申请一份工作或是想去学院或大学学习,这个证书就非常的必要。

在温哥华有很多中国人,他们有些人甚至英文一点都不会说。可能,他们就不能做他们想要做的工作,或是他们只能为只对他们讲中文的人工作

我非常建议你们先去学校学习,然后再去找工作。在温哥华的大部分地区,建筑物同时有中英文标志,办公室和银行都在聘请懂得两门语言的人。

目前对中国移民来说最好的工作是房地产。我有一个朋友是房地产代理,但是她是欧洲人。她说如果她是中国女人的话她就可能成为一个百万富翁。因为现在好多中国买家,他们通常只和中国代理打交道。一个代理通常提取交易房产售价的5%作为佣金。目前在温哥华,平均的房屋售价为825000加币。你自己可以算一算。

还有另外一种文化冲击,人们称之为“反文化冲击”,在你离开你的祖国之后第一次重新回来的时候你会经历这种冲击。我在离开匈牙利10年之后,在2005年第一次回去探望我的妈妈和姐妹。

长话短说,我当时非常的失望,甚至在呆到一半时间的时候想要直接打道回府回到加拿大去。那儿的人们对彼此都非常的忧虑和粗鲁。穷人们妒忌富人们并且抱怨所有的事情。有些钱的人们,到处向其他人炫耀他们的财富,买更大更好的车子,建更大的房子,他们甚至根本用不了一半大的他们所谓的美国风格的豪宅。

我觉得所有的人就象是在比赛,比谁能得到更好的,更大的,更贵的东西。而我认为,生活并不在于你拥有什么,而是在于你是如何经营你的生活的,在于你是如何消费的,在于在道德层面和精神层面你能够从生活中得到什么。

我的老同学告诉我“你在加拿大生活,你会用更大的勺子吃饭”。他们说得就好象我根本不需要去工作,只需要出门去就可以在加拿大的树木上摘下钱财。

有时候,我仍然想念我的祖国,但是我知道我已经不再有能力在那里生活了。人们已经改变了,整个国家变得比我离开的时候更差了。这么多年以来,唯一没有改变的就是我妈妈的饭菜的味道。在两个星期中我整整重了4公斤。我无法跟我妈妈说“不”,同样我也无法抗拒我记忆中儿时饭菜的味道。

还有女人们……我无法知道在2005年匈牙利到底发生了什么。但是在大街上70%到80%的女人们都打扮得粉红粉红的。不仅仅是用一个粉红色的包包或是穿一件粉红色的衣服,而是他们全身上下都是粉红色的!

于是,在如粉红色的泡泡糖环境中生活了两个星期之后,我回到了加拿大,我感觉就象是回到了自己真正的家。在这里,大多数的加拿大有钱人每天也只是穿着牛仔服到处走来走去。在这里,穷人们在大街上也会你报以微笑。商店里柜台的收银员每天脸上都绽放着大大的笑容,向你问候“你好吗?”

所以,我也微笑着,因为我回来了,我回到了我的家,在这里,在加拿大。

预祝即将移民到另外一个国家的每一位都好运,也请相信当我说这些的时候,我一点也不感到后悔生活在这个新的国家,即使是一开始的时候,在这里的生活是多么的辛苦。



 


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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 49) 1 2 3 4 5 More...
#2014-03-18 15:06:45 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Imi has stepped away from his "My Love for Lily" series to provide this article, and I am extremely pleased that he did. This is basically a primer on moving to a new country, and I daresay it applies to both Chinese or Asian women moving to Western countries and to Western men moving to China or other Asian countries.

However, it may be particularly useful to the ladies moving to Western countries and I urge you all to read it. It is really unfortunate that it is not translated to Chinese but we cannot continue to impose on Zoe, as like everyone she has her own life to live and has already really gone overboard helping us out with translating Imi's series.

If any of you other Chinese ladies who have a good grasp of English would be willing to translate this we'd be most appreciative.

Meanwhile, whether you are hoping to move to a foreign country yourself, or you're hoping to have someone move to your's to become your lifemate, this is a very valuable read. I found it keenly interesting.

#2014-03-18 15:46:28 by Barry1 @Barry1

@Imi5922

"I still miss my native country sometimes, but I know I wouldn't be able to live there anymore."

Thanks for this interesting article, Imi.

Let me say that just as you found returning to Hungary proved a little disappointing, I've been surprised to find that some of my Chinese friends here have felt the same way about going back to China.

The main reasons for this include the obvious one of pollution, but also health standards arise. By this I mean food and water. Many Chinese no longer trust some of the foods or other consumables that are produced there.

One thing though that my Chinese friends do miss in Australia however, is the marvellous sense of community found in China. The fact that one can simply go out onto the street there and soon be surrounded by others. In the West, Chinese can become a little lonely, because when they venture out, all they often see is an occasional pedestrian and a bunch of cars whizzing by. Life can be potentially much more isolated living in a developed country and generally public transport is not nearly so good.

China to me has a more endearing character to it compared to the West, which by comparison, is cleaner but arguably a little boring with less charm, less personality. If China can overcome its pollution problems, it'll be fantastic news indeed as it's such a fascinating place to explore with such lovely people.

By the way, congratulations on knowing two languages, Imi. I think it's a wonderful talent being able to do this. So many Westerners are spoilt - they're lucky that English is their native tongue. Many wouldn't have the intelligence to learn a new language, even if they wanted (which of course, they don't).

I thus take my hat off to everyone with multilingual ability. It shows to me that they're not only quite smart people, but determined and focussed as well.

My Chinese lady friend sometimes says "sorry" to me when she makes a grammatical error when speaking English to me. I always say to her though,

"Please don't apologise for making a simple mistake like this. You're already way ahead of me as far as language ability is concerned - if anything, I should be saying sorry to you for my linguistic ignorance!"

#2014-03-18 21:37:21 by Grace172 @Grace172

@Imi
Thank you so much, Imi. This is a very useful article for us. I am impressed by your words, "They spoke too fast and my brain wasn't able to process everything. Even the TV and radio were talking non-stop in English and at the end of the day it sounded like there was a beehive in my head..." BEEHIVE IN MY HEAD.LOL. very vivid and lively (giggle)
I had such a feeling when I being with my bf in half years. Every day English. English TV,English new. English talk, Because he speak so fast and speak too much, I could not catch him sometimes, when I wanted to clear his meaning, he was impatient and made me feel I was so foolish. I could not bear and it drove me mad. One day, when he speaked balabala to me, I had to used my hands covered my ears before he finish talking. He got suprise and angry. I said, "I hate English, please talk with me Chinese." He laughed. As soon as he left, I changed back everything into Chinese. This few months I only watch Chinese TV and read Chinese books as for the compensation. haha..
Now after read your article, I think I should bring into action to prepare the future. I need to make a plan to learn English again from now on.
Thank you for sharing us your wonderful experience. (handshake)

#2014-03-18 21:51:51 by Grace172 @Grace172

@JohnAbbot
"It is really unfortunate that it is not translated to Chinese but we cannot continue to impose on Zoe, as like everyone she has her own life to live and has already really gone overboard helping us out with translating Imi's series."
Thank you for your consideration. I fully appreciate the great efforts that Zoe made. Hope you find other "Zoe" soon. If can not, I think you do not need to worry too much. You must notice that Imi thoughtfully tried to use the simple English to write his articles for us. So I think it is not too difficult for us to understand them. I really appreciate him for this.

#2014-03-19 10:47:31 by kindhonestlady @kindhonestlady

that is very good culture shock for Lmi . l would like that too if l have chance . good culture and good eviroment and face a lot of people who with big smile will warm your heart and keep you happy all the time.
"where most rich Canadian people walk in jeans and t-shirts on ordinary days. Where the poor people still smile at you on the streets and the cashier in the store asks you “How are you?” with a big smile on her face. ".it is very warm lifestyle . l think they are peoples who from development country are different with people who from developing country . they will curious at you and shy face to you so no hello to you if some one here see you in my city. but in fact they are very friendly and kind in their heart , only there do not appear on their face for some one here.


#2014-03-19 13:25:56 by Marrisa @Marrisa

Hi, John, I would like to try to do the traslation of this very useful article for the Chinese ladis. Follwoing is my translation. Please help to check if it is OK or not. Thank you.
如果你在阅读我的博客系列—我对百合的爱—你就会知道我是来自匈牙利的移民,现在居住在加拿大。我愿意和你们分享有关于文化冲击的我本人的经历。需要澄清的是,这篇文章并不是“我对百合的爱”的一部分
当你移居到一个新的国家或环境的时候,你就会经历文化冲击,人们说关于文化冲击至少有三个阶段。
第一个阶段是“蜜月期”,当你刚刚到达一个新的国家的时候,所有的事情对于你来说都是如此的完美。
对于我来说呢,我自己一个人度过了我的“蜜月期”。但是,无论如何,我都乐在其中,非常的享受这个阶段。
我被加拿大深深迷住,每一件事情都是如此的完美。我一有时间就会去参观不同的地方,然后给在我家乡的朋友打电话,告诉他们加拿大是多么的漂亮。每件事对于我来说都是新鲜的,我感觉自己就象是一个兴奋的游客。我的“蜜月期”大约延续了2-3个星期。
2-3个星期之后,我不再感觉象是个游客,我觉得自己象是一个被流放者。我的大脑非常的疲劳,它必须处理太多的新信息,我意识到即使是在加拿大,我也必须出去工作以便可以生存下去。我进入了第二个阶段“焦虑期”或是“文化冲击期”
我最大的挑战是语言障碍。我非常的沮丧,因为人们听不懂我说的难听的英语,同样我也听不懂他们。他们说得太快,我的大脑根本跟不上。甚至是电视和广播,也在无穷无尽的说着英文。每一天结束的时候,我的脑子里就象住着一个蜂窝,不停的嗡嗡嗡,就象不停的在嘲笑我,嘲笑我竟然不懂得身边所有人都在讲的这门外国语言。
年轻的时候,我学过英文,但是在匈牙利,我从来没有用过它,我已经忘得差不多了。我甚至不能确定离开匈牙利是否真的正确。我感觉到如此的孤单就象被隔离了一样,因为我没有能力正确的表达自己,也很害怕跟加拿大人讲话。随之而来的是沮丧抑郁。我没有办法睡好觉。和其他人相比,我觉得自己是如此的愚蠢。我非常的想念家乡。
接着下着,我在加拿大的第一个冬天来临了。你得知道当时的我住在多伦多。或许,你们之中有人有朋友或亲戚住在那里。这样的话,你就会明白我在说什么。我说的是加拿大的冬天有时是如此的寒冷,寒风刺骨,冰入你的骨头,气温只有零下30到40摄氏度。在多伦多的时候,我曾经经历过零下39摄氏度。然而,夏天却非常的酷热,有时候是高达40到42摄氏度,而且是湿热。在那个时候,我真的很想很想回到匈牙利去。然而,我很庆幸我当时并没有回去。现在,我非常幸福的生活在温哥华,冬天的时候平均气温为5摄氏度。
我的文化冲击的第二个阶段延续了差不多整整一年。它也可以是一段比较短的时间,这完全取决于不同的个人和他或她对于新环境的开放和接受程度。
我没有放弃,慢慢的,我开始接受我的新国家,我进入了第三个阶段“适应期”
一开始,我交的朋友大多数是我在ESL班(英语为第二语言)的同学,并慢慢感觉到自己并不是那么的孤立。当我开始适应用英文交流的时候,我同时交了一些出生在加拿大的朋友。
这是一个缓慢的过程,而且需要不停的学习,但是它也同时促使我对不同的文化更加的开放,更加客观的评估自己。
对于那些认真的考虑移居到一个新的国家去的中国和亚洲的女性,我的建议是,尽量多的去了解你将移居去的国家的文化,准备好去接受的不仅仅是一个外国丈夫,同时也是一个新的国家和一种新的生活方式。当然你没有必要去完全的改变,你仍然是你。我的意思是,就象一个婚姻需要妥协让步一样,移居去一个新的国家也一样。
努力去了解你是否可以在你目前工作的行业中找到工作,或是你是否需要重回学校取得证书以便你有资格找到跟你目前工作一样的工作。努力去学习新的语言,请你的男朋友或未婚夫教你,让他们尽可能多的跟你讲英文或是其他的任何一种他的语言。
真正对我的英语学习起到帮忙的是大声的朗读杂志和报纸。我并不认得每个单词,但是某种程度上我的脑子开始理解文章的基本意思。当我理解了我所读文章的80%的单词的时候,我开始转向阅读小说。还有另外一种方法帮助我建立起英文的旋律,当我在家的时候我总是开着电视(电视的声音我现在听起来不再象是蜂窝了),通常开着CNN频道(新闻频道)。虽然有时我在家正做着其他的事情,但是我的脑子和耳朵仍然在听着电视,仍然在学习。
我在加拿大两年之后,我的脑子迎来了它向英文让步并开始用英文思考的转折点。我第一次开始在睡梦中说英文。我梦中的每一个对话都是英文对话。虽然生活中说着各种的语法错误,但是,在我的梦中,我说着特别棒的英文。
所以,我的建议是,尽可能多的听英语新闻学习标准英语,尽可能多的看美国电影学习大多数英语国家人们在日常生活中使用的俚语和街头语言。但是不要只是听,别忘了还要说,只要你一有机会就抓住练习说!不要害羞!男人喜欢有可爱口音的女人。
也许,对于一个新移民来说,面临的最大问题是如何找到一份工作。试着去把它看做一个你必须在一个新的国家开始新的生活的问题,随之而来的还有教育的问题。加拿大并不接受你在北美洲以外拿到的证书。
首先,如果你的英语口语达不到一个可接受的流利的程度,你得重新回到语言学校学习。它会给你发一个英语证书。如果你想申请一份工作或是想去学院或大学学习,这个证书就非常的必要。
在温哥华有很多中国人,他们有些人甚至英文一点都不会说。可能,他们就不能做他们想要做的工作,或是他们只能为只对他们讲中文的人工作
我非常建议你们先去学校学习,然后再去找工作。在温哥华的大部分地区,建筑物同时有中英文标志,办公室和银行都在聘请懂得两门语言的人。
目前对中国移民来说最好的工作是房地产。我有一个朋友是房地产代理,但是她是欧洲人。她说如果她是中国女人的话她就可能成为一个百万富翁。因为现在好多中国买家,他们通常只和中国代理打交道。一个代理通常提取交易房产售价的5%作为佣金。目前在温哥华,平均的房屋售价为825000加币。你自己可以算一算。
还有另外一种文化冲击,人们称之为“反文化冲击”,在你离开你的祖国之后第一次重新回来的时候你会经历这种冲击。我在离开匈牙利10年之后,在2005年第一次回去探望我的妈妈和姐妹。
长话短说,我当时非常的失望,甚至在呆到一半时间的时候想要直接打道回府回到加拿大去。那儿的人们对彼此都非常的忧虑和粗鲁。穷人们妒忌富人们并且抱怨所有的事情。有些钱的人们,到处向其他人炫耀他们的财富,买更大更好的车子,建更大的房子,他们甚至根本用不了一半大的他们所谓的美国风格的豪宅。
我觉得所有的人就象是在比赛,比谁能得到更好的,更大的,更贵的东西。而我认为,生活并不在于你拥有什么,而是在于你是如何经营你的生活的,在于你是如何消费的,在于在道德层面和精神层面你能够从生活中得到什么。
我的老同学告诉我“你在加拿大生活,你会用更大的勺子吃饭”。他们说得就好象我根本不需要去工作,只需要出门去就可以在加拿大的树木上摘下钱财。
有时候,我仍然想念我的祖国,但是我知道我已经不再有能力在那里生活了。人们已经改变了,整个国家变得比我离开的时候更差了。这么多年以来,唯一没有改变的就是我妈妈的饭菜的味道。在两个星期中我整整重了4公斤。我无法跟我妈妈说“不”,同样我也无法抗拒我记忆中儿时饭菜的味道。
还有女人们……我无法知道在2005年匈牙利到底发生了什么。但是在大街上70%到80%的女人们都打扮得粉红粉红的。不仅仅是用一个粉红色的包包或是穿一件粉红色的衣服,而是他们全身上下都是粉红色的!
于是,在如粉红色的泡泡糖环境中生活了两个星期之后,我回到了加拿大,我感觉就象是回到了自己真正的家。在这里,大多数的加拿大有钱人每天也只是穿着牛仔服到处走来走去。在这里,穷人们在大街上也会你报以微笑。商店里柜台的收银员每天脸上都绽放着大大的笑容,向你问候“你好吗?”
所以,我也微笑着,因为我回来了,我回到了我的家,在这里,在加拿大。
预祝即将移民到另外一个国家的每一位都好运,也请相信当我说这些的时候,我一点也不感到后悔生活在这个新的国家,即使是一开始的时候,在这里的生活是多么的辛苦。

#2014-03-19 17:48:10 by dancingshoes @dancingshoes

Imi, I enjoy reading your this article and actually, I like to read all your articles and I feel your English is very easy to understand for me, and some of your words really touched me and resonated with me. Sometimes I read your articles on my cell phone when I was in the train on my way home after work. It takes 35 minutes by train from the office to my home, and your articles made it an enjoyable trip. :D

I quite agree the following points:

“life is not about what you have, it's about how you live and who you spend it with, how much you can gain from it morally and spiritually.” I like this opinion. In China we also see anywhere that the rich people like to show their wealth off to the rest people with their luxurious cars and houses. The poor people are getting more and more poor, and the rich ones are getting more and more rich. The people are stratified into different communities in two poles. The poor ones envy the rich ones and they complained the unfair society and revenged to the innocents. That’s why we can see some people are very depressed and rude to each other, and we heard sometimes the Violent and Attacks events.

“don't forget to speak in English, practice it whenever you have the chance! Don't be shy! Men like women with a cute accent….” Thanks for your encouragement. If a man told me that my broken English was cute, and he liked my Chinese accent…I think I would be happy and be more open to share more with him. This is a very good suggestion to all us Chinese women here.

BTW, I have to say that I also dreamed some times that I spoke very fluent English in my dreams, and I could even remember all the dialogues while I just woke up from the dreams. But I bet I can’t speak so fluent English when I am awake. When I was young, I admired very much the people who could speak fluent English. When I was alone at home, I also left my TV or my laptop turned on at some English Channels or American original movies Channel so that I could let the English speaking be around me when I was doing some housework at home, even though I could not understand every word but I kept my brain and ears learning and getting used to the accent and rhythm. But now I am getting old and I am too lazy to learn any more. :(

Really you shared very good experience with us. Thanks.

“you live in Canada, you eat with big spoon”. I do not think so, either. I have some Chinese friends who immigrated to Canada with their family. In China, they had very good job and they lived a decent and honorable life. All of them suffered a hard time to adapt themselves to the life in Canada at the beginning. This was the second phase “anxiety” that you talked about. Some of them survived, the rest of them failed so they came back to China. They told me this phase could be 2-3 years ! My neighbor, a great single woman immigrated to Canada in 2005 with her kid… she could not speak English so she attended the ESL (by this course, she could still receive 1500 dollars from the government per month.) and then she worked in the Chinese restaurants to earn money to make living. She was so desperate when she took her ill kid to see the doctor but she could not understand what the Canadian doctor said to her…. But she survived finally, now she works as a department manager in a large oil company. She is the boss of many white guys! So, you see loser will be still loser anywhere, even though he/she holds a big spoon. But this woman I mentioned is the one who works hard, and she believes that sweats instead of tears make her life. And she made it.

#2014-03-20 06:15:11 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@Grace172

Thank you for reading this article of mine. So, it wasn't just me who felt a beehive in my head. :)

@dancingshoes

I am glad I can share the train ride with you to go home. :) Thanks for sharing it with me!
You are right! Hard work is always triumphant.

@Marrisa

Thank you Marrisa for the Chinese translation!

#2014-03-20 17:52:53 by QinQL @QinQL

@Marrisa well done ! Marrisa (y) ------ You gave me a big surprise today ! (f)

#2014-03-21 20:10:39 by shirley9183 @shirley9183

@Imi5922 Good deal again! You had written down the clear hardship and happiness of a new migrants, no pains no gains!! In most step of life you only getout what you put in. Congratulation and thanks for your contribution here!

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