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我出世在一个美丽的国家,经历了动荡的时代和历史的变迁,终于回到了祖国。当岁月积淀女人的智慧与理性,我终于剥下华丽与虚荣,学会积累生活和人生的体悟,我在这里与大家分享生活的心灵感悟,感悟人生的真谛。I was born in a beautiful country, Vietnam, and lived through the turbulent era and the history of changes, then finally returned to the Mother China. With years of accumulated wisdom and feminine rationality,I finally peeled off the gorgeous and vanity. I am here to share with you inspiration, love, hope and thankfulness and their role in understanding the depth and true meaning of life.
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Complain, inferior to diligently enterprising 抱怨,不如努力去进取    

By Xin73
4776 Views | 17 Comments | 10/14/2012 1:21:32 PM

Complain, inferior to diligently enterprising

Like to complain of the people in the world is difficult to have a foothold, vexed sorrow is the mind killer. The lack of a good attitude, Like as physically the curb chain,will oneself tightly bound in the dark. Maybe a life of poverty as like chains bothering you, not have friends and family, helpless living in a foreign country. You are eager to relieve yourself heavy burden, However, life like a dark abyss of burden is so heavy. therewithal you are complaining, exclamation fate to own injustice, Complains of oneself parents, oneself boss, complain about how God so unfair, let you suffer from poverty, but give others rich and coziness .

No one will because bad temper and negative negative mentality, and reap the rewards and ascend. Observe carefully any a sound management institutions, You will find that the most successful people are positive enterprising, ready to help others, can timely encouragement and praise to others people. Top people,often encouraged others like himself happy and enthusiasm. However, some people still can not understand this intention, will grumble and complain for granted.

In life, we have everything requires fair, requirements of development in accordance with their own wishes, If a little error feel god to oneself not fair, complain or grumbles are produced. Complaining is an in the mind unbalance response, is a kind of pursuit of perfect psychological and emotional state of mind of the external performance. Cannot be redeemed things forget it and have a chance to repair, to seize the last chance. Regret, blame, depression, not only to no avail, it will hinder your advancing feet. Will only make oneself the pain in the abyss sink deeper and deeper. As long as you see life in unfair, it 'll never hurt you, contrary it will become a kind of incentive you progress strength. 300 years ago, after Milton's blindness, also found the same truth:“ Application and thought of the idea of itself, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

In life, everyone will face a lot of disappointments. We should understand that the life doesn't complain, with positive attitude to face, people will naturally become happy a person. Just because life if a door is closed, there must be another door open. God closed all the doors, will certainly leave you with an open window. Lost something, will harvest in other places. The key is you must have an optimistic state of mind, believe there are will gains for all our losses. with more wise attitude to face the future life.

Life is like that, sometimes bring us happiness, sometimes bring us vexed,Sometimes fair to us, sometimes make us feel wronged, we have in the fairness and disequilibrium of the entanglement to spend every day. But, suddenly one day life is fair thing, no one can give us unfair treatment, we may really very difficult to adapt to, because there is no unfair cannot realize the fair niceness and rare . perhaps this is pain and happy life's true meaning. When faced with setbacks, we don't complain, because it is the be remembered with deep gratitude pain, let us to recognize my own shortcomings, can motivate us to catch up, make up their own inadequacies, just about it is that time and time again to fall, we learn to stand.

I believe a word: "if you want to complain, the everything in life can become you to complain about object, If you don't complain, the everything in life will not let you complain. Sometimes those frustrated days, we would always feel live really annoying, in the search for the one thousand kinds of reason later, when we look back on past those days, and no and others have what different nature, different only in our minds whether to have a "wateriness and calm ". Therefore, the sad pain when, of hiding in the corner to complain, be inferior to will the pain and suffering as improve self "stepping stone", as progress ladder "handrail", as life is give to own a gift If life give us is again and again frustrated, time and time again the hardships, in fact, this is no big deal, because it was just fate deprived us of living noble right, but does not prevent us from living happiness and freedom.

Stop your complaints, let be irritable mood calm down. In life any kind of living is perfect?
have any kind of life can do as my meaning? There is not! So we have no complain? Seems to also cannot. But at least we can make themselves less complaining, and more positive attitude, because if complain that became a habit, just as lifting a rock only to drop on their own feet, unfavorable to others, no benefit on their own. Life is like into a cage, everywhere is not one's day, everywhere dissatisfied, conversely, will understand, free life, in fact in itself is the greatest happiness, where there are so many complain? We can't do never complain, but we should at least let yourself less complaining, and more positive attitude to work hard.


抱怨,不如努力去进取

喜欢抱怨的人在世上是难有立足之地的,烦恼忧愁更是心灵的杀手。缺少良好的心态,如同收紧了身上的锁链,将自己紧紧束缚在黑暗之中。也许贫困的生活像枷锁一样困扰着你,没有亲朋好友,无依无靠地生活在异国他乡。你急切地希望减轻自己身上沉重的负担,然而,生活仿佛陷入黑暗的深渊之中,负担是如此沉重。于是,你不停地抱怨,感叹命运对自己的不公,抱怨自己的父母、自己的上司,抱怨上苍如何如此不公平,让你遭受贫困,却赐予他人富足和安逸。

没有人会因为坏脾气和消极负面的心态而获得奖励和提升。仔细观察任何一个管理健全的机构,你会发现,最成功的人往往是那些积极进取,乐于助人,能适时给他人鼓励和赞美的人。身居高位之人,往往会鼓励他人像自己一样快乐和热情。但是,依然有人无法体会这种用意,将诉苦和抱怨视为理所当然。

在生活中,我们事事要求公平,要求按照自己的意愿发展,如果稍出错就觉得老天对自己不公平,抱怨或牢骚就产生了。抱怨是一种心里不平衡的反应,是一种追求完美的心理和情绪化心态的外在表现。无法挽回的东西就忘掉它,有机会补救的,要抓住最后的机会。后悔、埋怨、消沉不但于事无补,反而会阻碍你前进的脚步。只会让自己在痛苦的深渊中越陷越深。只要你看开生活心中的不公平,它就再也伤害不了你,反而会成为一种激励你上进的力量。300年前,弥尔顿在失明后,也发现了同样的真理:“思想的运用和思想的本身,就能把地狱造成天堂,把天堂造成地狱。”

生活中,每一个人都将面对很多的不如意。我们要明白,对生活的不抱怨,用积极的态度面对,自然也会成为快乐的人。只因为生活中一扇门如果关上了,必定有另一扇门打开。上帝关闭所有的门,必定会留给你一扇打开的窗。失去了这种东西,必然会在其他地方有所收获。关键是你要有乐观的心态,相信有失必有得,以更明智的态度面对今后的生活。

生活就是这样的,有时给我们带来快乐,有时给我们带来烦恼,有时对我们公平,有时又让我们觉得委屈,我们就在公平与失衡的纠缠中一天天度过。可是,突然有一天生活中都是公平的事情,没有人再给我们不公平的待遇了,我们也许还真的很难适应,因为没有不公平就不能体会公平的美好与难得,这也许就是痛并快乐着的生活真谛吧。当面对挫折的时候,我们不要抱怨,因为正是那些刻骨铭心的疼痛,才让我们认识到自己的不足,才能激励我们奋起直追,弥补自己的不足,正是那一次又一次的跌倒,我们才学会了站立。

我相信一句话:“如果你想抱怨,生活中的一切都会成为你抱怨的对象,如果你不抱怨,生活中的一切都不会让你抱怨。有些时候那些不顺心的日子,我们也总感觉活得真烦,在寻找了千百种理由之后,当我们回首曾经走过的那些岁月,也许会发现,其实生活赐予自己的,并没有与别人有什么本质的不同,不同的仅仅是我们的胸襟中是否具有一份“平淡和坦然”。所以,忧伤痛苦的时候,与其躲在角落里抱怨,不如把痛苦和磨难当做提高自我的“垫脚石”,当做进步阶梯的“扶手”,当做是生活对自己的一份馈赠。假如生活给我们的只是一次又一次的失意,一次又一次的磨难,其实,这也没什么,因为那只是命运剥夺了我们活的高贵的权利,但并没有夺走我们活的快乐和自由的权利。
停止你的抱怨吧,让烦躁的心情平静下来。人生中有哪一种生活是完美的?有哪一种生活能尽如我意?没有!对此我们能毫无抱怨吗?似乎也不能。但我们起码可以让自己少一些抱怨,而多一些积极的心态,因为如果抱怨成了一个人的习惯,就像搬起石头砸自己的脚,于人无益,于己无利,生活就成了牢笼一般,处处不顺,处处不满,反之,则会明白,自由的生活着,其实本身就是最大的幸福,哪会有那么多的抱怨呢?我们做不到从不抱怨,但我们至少应该让自己少一些抱怨,而多一些积极的心态去努力进取。

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(Showing 1 to 10 of 17) 1 2 More...
#2012-10-11 16:10:39 by sisi0923 @sisi0923

我们做不到从不抱怨,但我们至少应该让自己少一些抱怨,而多一些积极的心态去努力进取。------很喜欢这样的生活态度。:)

#2012-10-12 14:10:38 by mette @mette

我不去抱怨,也积极进取了,到现在对爱情还是一无所获。不知道哪里出了问题。像我这样的笨女人,不知道还要不要再继续进取。

#2012-10-14 13:26:50 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I think this blog provides some very sound advice that many members of CLM and ALM might need to consider. We've noticed an ever increasing amount of unreasonable complaining and, worse, some pretty nasty criticism of members, forum writers and bloggers by other members who maybe should consider that CLM is a community in which we want everyone to grow and prosper and hopefully find a great partner. Calling each other nasty names and complaining about the opinions or beliefs of other hardly enhances that community spirit we are striving to achieve for the good of all.

Thank you, xin73, for bringing this notion into the light with your blog.

#2012-10-14 14:01:19 by anonymous4490 @anonymous4490

一直都非常爱读xin73的文章,阳光、积极、进取、大气,是成熟女人经历过许多事后的豁达、星星点点,成熟的女人不是没有摔过跟头,而是经历之后始终笑面人生。如果一个男人抱怨,会让人很看不起;女人抱怨,人家可能以为你撒娇,可是我们实在没理由抱怨。对于上天祈祷;对于别人希望;对自己接受。
感谢JOhn站出来。昨晚上看江苏卫视非诚勿扰,乐嘉狠狠地批一个在场上因被男会员拒绝而哭的女士,认为她没有理由在那里哭。人家场上还有两个更大龄的女士都始终坚持,按那哭的会员,人家都该跳楼不要活了。
感谢Mr.John很好地起了舆论导向的作用!

#2012-10-14 15:18:03 by xin73 @xin73

Hi sisi0923
相信你是一位理智的女人。人生快乐无处不在,苦难也无处不在,只要获得如莲花般的“濯清涟而不妖”,却必先沉溺于污浊的泥垢之中,感受黑暗,品味苦痛,方能“出淤泥而不染”。
生活在这个世界上,我们要怀着一颗包容的心,去原谅诸多的任何事,原谅上天对人的不公,因为这是生活给予我们的考验。只有原谅了生活中诸多不顺,我们才有资格获得更美好的生活。活着就是最大的幸福,还有什么值得我们抱怨的呢?

#2012-10-14 17:36:21 by xin73 @xin73

Hi mette
你已经拥有积极的健康阳光心态。所以请你不要灰心,不要放弃自己对成功追求的信念。
心态决定成败,每个人都渴望成功,但追求成功的过程不可能总是一帆风顺的,期间穿插着种种坎坷和波折。大多数人失败并非由于才智平庸,也不是因为时运不齐,而是由于在人生长跑中没有保持一种健康的心态,使得自己最终无法触摸到成功的终点线。与其说自己在与别人的竞争中失利,不如说自己输给了自己不成熟的心态。对生活和人生充满了抱怨,自我封闭,限制和扼杀了自己的潜能。要知道,我们每个人都是一座有待开发的金矿,其中蕴藏着人们无法预料的巨大潜能,决定个人含金量高低的就是积极的阳光心态。
你怎能否认自己的智慧呢?千万不要以“笨”做借口而放弃自己的阳光心态。要成功,就要保持一颗积极,绝不轻易放弃的心。我相信成功只离你一个转身的距离。祝愿你在CLM早日圆寂你甜美的爱情。

#2012-10-15 19:52:03 by xin73 @xin73

Hello John
I am writing this blog is for here a male member.I am here with his cognize of almost three months.His personal question is very bad,replaced by another female member might say he is a liar.But I do not think he is a liar,As we talk further.I always give him encouragement and consolation.In his current situation may not come to China to meet with me, but I have enough conditions visa to go to America to visit him.In my opinion if the two sides are really in love,It doesn't have to be a man came to meet the woman, as a woman also can go to meet with their to like a male . Of course, it must be in a certain condition under the premise.Here I also met bad male member " so-called cheater ", But I always with my sincere language resolve all the trouble.I think attitude is can decide a person's encounters.Every female member here will have met cheats and some bad experience. But some people always like to hold own experience to forum to conduct propaganda,let some people blindly followed the echoes.I think it is a very boring thing.If here met cheats or badness male member, I think this is normal.Find the other party is bad to stop contact, or towards web site to report it.don't always complain about meet cheater meaningless discussion.Don't say on the net is always met cheats or bad man,in our real life of around there are a lot of cheater,do we want lifetime talk endlessly complain?It 's better to do complain not as good as through efforts than to enhance the hard work,use action to prove himself. People are often in overcoming difficulties in the process to produce courage, and cultivate fortitude and noble character.
I am very pleased to find CLM, thank you so much for creating such a good international dating platform. Let me have a lot of opportunity to recognize foreign friends and learn foreign culture. I hope to read my blog member will know: life is so,nothing is worth we always complain. to live is the greatest happiness,What else is worth us to complain about the niceness life?










#2012-10-16 09:03:06 by jwksdy444 @jwksdy444


好心态是必须具备的,但是努力和好心态并不等于成功,也不代表就能心想事成,别把成功看的那么简单,有人努力为了一个目标付出了毕生的精力,苦苦追求了一生,最终还是无果,你能说他她‘心态不好????

#2012-10-16 12:48:19 by xin73 @xin73

Hi Anonymous Member
感谢你喜欢我的文章。
是的,我经历过很多挫折和不平凡的事情,但每一次挫折更让我领悟到人生的真谛。我身边的朋友对我感到奇怪,怎么发生严重的事情我还是能保持良好的心态。人生不过如此,我承受不起生命过多的负荷,看开想开了,所以我是快乐的。如果你的丈夫突然卷走几百万,把所有的房产卖光,此时他遭遇法院传票的时候,而他抢走了属于你们的一切,你还能做到拿几十至一百万来担保他吗?我相信没有几个女人能做到!我身边的朋友回答说如果事情发生在她们身上是不想活了或者早就一病不起。在这里我不想说太多,一切都已经过去,我的心已经淡定。我相信天没有绝人之路!
人生谁都会遇到挫折和困难,只要拥有阳光心态,积极,乐观,自信,遇到困难决不要找借口,遭遇失败也不会停下前进的脚步,更不会因一时的得失来论证成败,而是在困难中依然保持微笑,时刻以一颗平常心面对生活中的起起伏伏,视失败为另一段努力的开始。“宠辱不惊,看庭前花开花落;去留无意,望天上云卷云舒。”拥有阳光心态,我们才能以一种快乐的心情欣赏人生的起起落落,才能以一种成熟的姿态书写人生的花样年华。
我相信你也是一位拥有阳光心态的女子,祝福你!

#2012-10-16 23:28:01 by anonymous4510 @anonymous4510

我喜欢你的文笔也赞赏你的人生态度.假如生活欺骗了你,不用悲伤,因为我们至少读懂了它, 同样我们会在下一个路口去找到前进的方向.
在生活中我们只有学会了感恩才能懂得珍惜,在困境中才能懂得坚强,生活的本能就是告诉我们需要去寻求幸福.上帝给予我们一样的能力和智慧,真正的幸福是要靠自己去创造的,生活的道路也是靠自己去走的.
什么样的思想带给你什么样的结果,什么样的行动决定你的成功与否.相信自己,相信爱,接受挫折,学会微笑,迎接你的是胜利,是真正的生活....

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