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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Chinese Women - Is she my Type - Part 3: The Crazy Jealous Type    

By Paul Fox
17589 Views | 61 Comments | 11/16/2013 4:40:20 AM

Are chicken heads on the menu really so offensive as to cause a Chinese woman to be banned from a Western man's presence for life?

I started this series of blogs originally to discuss the Five types of Chinese woman that I think you are likely to come across on CLM. Then… out of nowhere… I received an e-mail from a Chinese woman who quite simply cannot fall into any of my 5 original categories. So she became type 6 (obviously).



Now to be totally honest with you, I had encountered the “type 6” before (twice) – but I had literally forgotten all about her, quite simply because my brain refused to accept that such a stupid creature as this could indeed breathe the same air as the rest of us… But alas! She exists!



So YES, there are now 6 types (not 5) and we shall refer to the “working girl – (who we were not going to discuss) as being type 7 and will come much later on (due to “peer pressure” from many of you lovely people who have asked me to discuss her in more detail).



Then my good friend Barry1 (Bless him !) suggested a type 8 and although I am sure that there are many, many, more “types” of Chinese women than I shall be discussing in general, it is impossible to categorize all of the wonderful women out there – 100%.



So up to now we have discussed 2 types – the DDH and the OTSSW.



But there are 4 more types left to discuss and I decided to roll the dice 9 times until I could “slip in” my “type 6” (that I originally forgot about) into 3rd place, rather than leave her until last – for good reason!



You see, I like to think I am a reasonably decent bloke and I care about the people who read my drivel here, so it is important to me that you guys do not “suffer” at the hands of type 6 any longer than necessary – so I have pulled her UP the list and we will discuss her right now!



It’s nice that type 1 and 2 can have abbreviations for them – DDH = Desperate Divorced Housewife and OTSSW = On The Shelf Single Woman – but where to start with this next one?



I know what I WANT to call her… she is the CSWWSBAAC – But that’s too many letters (CSWWSBAAC = Crazy Stupid Woman Who Should Be Avoided At All Costs!) So let me call her CJT – CRAZY JEALOUS TYPE – a little “softer” description I suppose, but when you read all about her, I think the former will definitely suit her better.



You see, the CJT has a “problem” – partially of her own making, but not all can be attributed to her alone...  Let us imagine that it’s Saturday night and you decide to pop over to the local bar and have a few beers. There’s a girl in there that catches your eye and by midnight… well, the rest is “history”…



You wake up the next morning and look at each other and both think “@OMG !@”.  But Hey-Ho, last night was fun and no harm done so who really cares ??? – Bye Bye!  It happens… it’s a fact of life… get over it!



Have you ever listened to a famous song by “Meat Loaf” called – “Paradise by the dashboard light”? – If not – PLEASE DO SO!!!  Listen to the words and try to fully understand the song lyrics and you will know what I am waffling on about!  Of course, we DO have crazy women in our Western society, and despite the fact that it “Takes Two”... they think once you have slept with them (or they have slept with YOU) that they have the God-given right to dictate the rest of YOUR life!



But the Chinese CJT is a step beyond the girl in Meat Loaf’s classic song… You will know her IMMEDIATELY… make no mistake…!!!!



Generally she's likely to be single, never married. In her defence, she has been severely “bitten” (probably more than once) and it’s likely it was by a Western man!  She had a short relationship with him… things didn’t work out… no particular reason… maybe not suitable…but, in her mind she thinks that:



ALL WESTERN MEN ARE SEX-HUNTING BASTARDS WHO HAVE NO THOUGHT FOR THE FEELINGS OF THE PEOPLE THEY HURT AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL HORRIBLE PEOPLE WITH WARTS ON THEIR FACES AND HORNS ON THEIR HEADS AND EVIL IN THEIR HEARTS !



She simply CANNOT TAKE REJECTION!



Her first Western boyfriend was probably a nice guy. He treated her with respect and dignity and everything was going swimmingly. Bedroom Olympics were fun and love abounds – no problem!



But maybe he took her for dinner and watched as she pried open a chicken's head with a chopstick and devoured the contents with a crazed Hannibal Lecter look in her eye and then wondered why the poor guy refused to kiss her that night? (NOTE – If you do not know what I am talking about, go back and read my intro blog - “SLIP CAREFULLY”)



But… Who knows??



This Beautiful Chinese girl gave her heart, her soul and her body to her “man” – but he cast her aside because she had a mouthful of chicken brains!  Disappointed, our CJT is off in search of another western boyfriend. Being a pretty girl, it is not long before she finds another suitor.  This time she is a bit more diligent – maybe no sex on the first or second night – but nevertheless, she likes him and he is good to her.



In her mind (now) the last guy was a playboy – a “huahuagongzi”, she is best rid of him, so, she begins to feel she had had a lucky “escape”. The new guy is much “better” – maybe more handsome – maybe the bedroom Olympics are more fun – Oh, he’s a little older than the last one – but Hey…..more experience!!!



Things are going great and she is happy… so happy in fact, that they go for dinner together and she orders some chicken! After she devours the contents of the chicken’s head, she wonders why the Western man gives her the “cold-shoulder” that night and pretty soon dumps her – just like the last guy did!  So now (in her mind) – ALL WESTERN MEN ARE EVEN BIGGER BASTARDS!



OK, so I am using the “chickens head” by way of an illustration – He has essentially found something he does not LIKE about her and so he dumps her – but she cannot see the REASON WHY!  She still wants the western man because she still believes she can find her “Mr RIGHT” who can give her the long term relationship she so desperately wants.  But every time she eats the chickens head, she gets “dumped”



Nobody actually TELLS her what she is doing to put her new found boyfriend “OFF” – (because we are far too polite - haha!).  By now she is confused and annoyed. Every time she has met a “new man” she has slept with him, loved him and they seemed to have been getting on well together – so WHY is she “dumped”?  In her mind there is only ONE reason… the man wanted SEX ONLY and after she gave him his pleasure, he dumped her!



Well, he MUST be a playboy! – In fact ALL of her previous BF have been playboys so therefore ALL Western men are PLAYBOYS! Yet, she still wants one!



So you meet her on China Love Match…



Example – (to make my point) - the e-mails/chat/conversation goes like this - (we will start with HER….):



"Are you divorced?



Yes



Show me your papers – I want to see you are not lying to me and just want to meet for sex



OK – I will scan and e-mail to you



OK, thanks – can you do this NOW?



Maybe later after I finish work



OK, here is my e-mail address – If you want to meet me, then you MUST send to me ASAP



OK, Fine – here you go!



OH, OK, Thanks – do you want to meet me?



Yes, I would like that….



OK, well don’t think you are having sex with me unless you download and sign a co-habitation agreement first



A what??????



A co-habitation agreement – it means that I am essentially your “wife” and we can live together, even though we are not married!



But we have not even met yet – can we have a coffee first? Lunch or dinner?



Of course we can – but not until you sign the agreement



Oh!



BY the way, how many girls have you got on your QQ or Skype?



Not many, why???



Delete them!!!! – All of them!!!! – I will not have you talking to other women if you are with me!



But they are my work colleagues!



Don’t care!........They are women ! They are GIRLS! You are probably having sex with all of them and I will not tolerate cheating behaviour!



Well, actually they are only FRIENDS and colleagues



No, I will not tolerate it – If you want to be a playboy like all your western buddies, then please don’t involve me – if you want to talk to other women then please do not contact me again!"



Can you IMAGINE a life with such a creature?



As I said before, she cannot accept that she might have some “shortcomings” that make her impossible to live with – NOTHING is “her fault” – no-one has told her WHY they don’t want to see her again (out of respect – although I would quite happily tell her if she eats another chickens head it’s all over !).



It’s Western MEN who have the “faults” – Western men are all “sex-maniacs” and are not interested in love or marriage (in her mind).



Poor girl has much experience of being “dumped” – and if you want a good Chinese Wife, you should learn to recognise the signs of the CJT and give her the widest berth possible! Jealousy is a hairs width away from insanity (so they say).  Feel a little sorry for her and try to make her feel that not all Western men are complete assholes.



But if she wants to meet you… you are either sticking pins in your eyes that night, or you risk the consequences… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !



Till next time – have fun !



And remember – ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 61) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 More...
#2013-11-16 05:16:49 by Joshua75 @Joshua75

@PaulFox If I were back in the middle east I'd want you in the fox hole beside me. You are apparently a man without fear!

On a more serious note I have seen this kind of behavior in western men and women. This type of jealousy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for the jealous person (be they man or woman)

#2013-11-16 13:45:36 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1 .

Another entertaining read, thanks Paul.

Talking about jealous ladies and suchlike, I had an unusual experience on the QQ chat service last night.

I was chatting to a friend when a second lady appeared who I had also chatted to once or twice previously.

This second lady then started talking to me. I responded by saying hello to her but then advised that I was a little busy and perhaps we could talk the next day.

She then became annoyed, calling me a "liar" and said she "hated people like you".

I was somewhat flabbergasted by this, unsure of what had provoked it. I then relayed the conversation to the first lady I had been chatting to, who said,

"Please don't worry, Barry - not all Chinese women are as rude as this."

It takes all kinds to make up a world, doesn't it?

#2013-11-16 15:26:24 by purplesea1970 @purplesea1970

So interesting,the author has good sense of humor,can not help laughing

#2013-11-16 17:40:15 by anonymous7995 @anonymous7995

Biologically speaking, it is their Mammalian brain going overdrive

Basic instincts and emotions:
Hunger
Love, lust and sex
Anger, hate & fear
Territoriality, possessiveness
Dominance/submissiveness; Irritability and serenity.

http://brainmuseum.org/functions/index.html

the irony is some of these kind of people also have or keep searching for 'backup' or 'alternatives'

and it's all pretty normal, hahaha

#2013-11-16 20:31:45 by sunrise68 @sunrise68

Jealous people do exist in the world, but the case described by you that one beautiful girl are dumped by different western guys successively is not reasonable, even absurd.
Just because of “chickens head” thing-maybe this is for representing a certain type of thing, anyway, such thing is trifle, these western guys dump her, which proves these guys are shallow and not affectionate; even though they feel it's necessary to dump her, they are responsible for telling her the reason for that; moreover, can the girl be so foolish that she can't realise the reason?
So I think what you describe is strange and not meaningful.

#2013-11-16 21:32:41 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

HI Barry

You just met a "type 3" haha - well done !

#2013-11-16 21:35:44 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@joshua
Thanks mate - love to be in your fox-hole - I bet we would have a right laugh together - lol
Of COURSE there are western women who fall into the same category and I am sure there are women in every culture in the world who would fall into this category

I just could not get over the "Co-hab agreement" - I still have her e-mail and also the e-mail from the solicitor who SHE CONTACTED to draw up the agreement - lol

#2013-11-17 10:46:36 by jenny90 @jenny90

oh, this is the first to read your article.it's funny,but also have some meaning in it. hope to read more things from you.

#2013-11-17 11:28:43 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1 .

"Have you ever listened to a famous song by “Meat Loaf” called – “Paradise by the dashboard light”? – If not – PLEASE DO SO!!! Listen to the words and try to fully understand the song lyrics and you will know what I am waffling on about!"

For our dear Chinese friends who may not have access to this 1977 Meatloaf song as penned by Jim Steinman, here are some excerpts of the lyrics.

Let me advise also that one of the jobs I do is working as a karaoke host in a hotel every Saturday night and this song is a dead set favourite with the half sloshed, merry karaoke crowd here.

By the way, for any innocent Chinese who are blissfully unaware of what "half sloshed" means, this is a slang word meaning "drunk", similar to being plastered, pickled, juiced up, soused, tanked, totaled, wasted, stewed, sodden, three sheets to the wind, high as a kite or seeing double.

Though I'm sure everyone here knew this already, right? :)

"I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light

GIRL:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?

BOY:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning

GIRL:
I gotta know right now
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?

BOY:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it

GIRL:
Will you love me forever?

BOY:
Let me sleep on it

GIRL:
Will you love me forever!!!!

PRAYING FOR THE END OF TIME
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!!

#2013-11-17 19:03:33 by responsiblelady @responsiblelady

Dear Paul . You are a good writer and also good at woman investigation.
As you wrote one habit of yours is " people-watching" . I have the same , I like to watching people passby in front of me, each one are difference by their face looking , dressting , walking posture, etc. If you have find out this point . I think you would not discribe single woman of China by your narrow opnions. Thank you .

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