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Self-proclaimed “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God”, a retired USA State Police Lieutenant with broad experience in SE Asia and China, David will focus on Online Obsessions and Real Relationships: Navigating Chinese/Western Cross Cultural Relationships. He'll share his and others experiences in internet dating, social networking and real life dating in China. Typically American, he will bring you the upside and downside of East/West relationships openly and directly. He hopes both genders can gain some useful knowledge from his blog as well as a few laughs.
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Chinese Matchmaking: Back to the Future- Part 1-Basics    

By David Lee
2587 Views | 1 Comments | 7/2/2010 1:36:20 AM
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Steven Spielberg presents Back to the Future

Just like the successful trilogy of films Back to the Future I. II and III released in 1985-1990, we must go back in the past to get to our future. I may “Catch some flack”, “Heat” or criticism on some of this, but I don’t really care. CLM has to be “Politically Correct”, but I don’t need to be like I did in “My former life”. I try to be direct and honest like the old story or adage about three American baseball umpires. Umpire One said, “I calls 'em as I sees 'em.” Umpire Two said, “I calls 'em as they is.” And Umpire Three said, “Until I calls 'em, they ain't!” Now I would not presume to be Umpire Three, but I’m certainly like Umpire One and somewhat like Umpire Two if you follow my analogy.

Profiles

The most basic and first step in online dating is developing a good profile that is interesting and gives enough basic information to entice, attract or interest someone to contact you or respond to you. So why in the hell don’t many people get this concept? I will not rehash and belabor what John Abbot at CLM and many others around the world have written and suggested in greater detail. However, I have to “Put in my two-cents worth” on this issue later.

Paid Membership

First of all, if possible, join at least two of the best Internet dating websites like China Love Match as a PAID member. This accomplishes several things:

• Gives your profile and multiple photos more exposure to a wider group of people.

• Gives you more choices of potential partners.

• May help you identify scammers, liars, Gold digger’s, Gigolos or prostitutes who have also posted their profiles in multiple dating websites. More on this later, but if you see a CLM member on a different dating website with different basic information like age, number of children, location, etc., then “Red flags” should be popping up in your mind.

No Multiple Profiles

Please don’t post multiple profiles! Women and men alike often post multiple profiles for a variety of reasons, but often to boost them from oblivion on that online dating website to a newest member category with more exposure. I’ve recently noticed the ever diligent CLM team has caught onto one Chinese woman abusing this and no longer places her in the “Newest Chinese Girls to Join” category after opening at least three profiles. Game over!

Another common reason or excuse for this is “I forgot my Password and/or User Name”. Personally I think this is bull-shit (BS), but assuming it is in fact the truth, then contact CLM customer service and they can delete your prior membership before you open a new account or help you retrieve your original User Name or Password.

The other reason is, more often done by Chinese women than foreign men, to “Check-up” on potential partners. The method is to open a new profile with fake information and no photo or maybe a fake photo and initiate contact with their person of interest to check their veracity or honesty. It is a form of entrapment as often called in legal terms. While certainly not against the law per se, posting multiple profiles is usually taboo or forbidden by most honest internet dating websites like CLM. So if you are thinking about doing this, in a word, don’t and if you are currently doing this, delete the BS or fake profile.

Finally, let’s don’t forget the scammers, con-artists and criminals who do this. CLM is very diligent about protecting their membership, but unfortunately it usually takes some time to identify them and verify they are in fact the no good scumbags they are.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2010-07-02 01:51:22 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Wow! Great blog but I object to CLM being characterized as politically correct. Mild mannered perhaps, but surely not politically correct :-).

David took a little respite from writing his blog posts and we were missing him, but he's back stronger than ever and we're glad he is. Having the privilege of peeking behind the scenes I can tell you this is the first of 4 articles (at least) by David on what to watch out for when online dating, and you can bet David will not be "understated" in any of them. You can also bet it will be worth listening to what he has to say. Be sure to come back daily and catch all four.

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