Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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Chinese Ladies: The Good, The Bad and the Somewhat Ugly (Part 3)    

By Barry Pittman
1531 Views | 15 Comments | 1/5/2019 4:06:56 AM

Fish wouldn't ever be caught on a hook if only they'd keep their mouths shut! In similar vein, some Chinese women would be best advised to do the same and shut their big gobs!

This article is a continuation from part 2 of this series. Where I had met what turned out to be quite a bad-tempered Chinese lady. Reluctantly I had to admit that though most ladies on this site were routinely quite polite and accepting of honest feedback from a potential suitor, not every one happily possessed these traits. Some Sino ladies are loud mouthed, bad tempered ballbusters. Dragons disguised as butterflies. Damn shame, as some otherwise looked quite pretty and beguiling.

As far as bad tempered men are concerned, at least they have an excuse. Most likely, they're wearing their pants so tight, their testicles are being squeezed, resulting in chronic lack of patience and barely disguised ill will. Fair enough. Sounds plausible. Most doctors would concur, I'm sure. Loosen those undertpants! This is why I always wear trousers with plenty of ball room. No, I'm not referring to dancing. If any innocent ladies reading this aren't sure what I'm referring to, they can privately message me.

But this same reasoning surely can't be applied to bad tempered women (unless they're trannies!). So what's up with them? Don't they realise that when their temper is frayed, their sex appeal is shredded? To be with such a person is indeed something to be dreaded. I have enough demons in my life, let alone to become bedeviled by someone else's malicious entities! Stay away from me, Satan! Back off, Lucifer! I already have enough annoying glitches in my personal and quite complicated matrix to want more!

I wonder if anyone else on this site has lived with a bad tempered broad in the past? If so, did the relationship last or did it become withered on the vine, like just another stale bottle of wine? Leading inevitably once again to a solitary life within a burgeoning world of similarly emotionally deprived people. Most pretending to be content yet deep down, knowing that surely there must be more to existence than this? An existence where we're born alone, we die alone and much of our life is effectively spent alone, even if supposedly we're living with a partner or surrounded by irritating people. Forget the concept or existence of hell. Hell is exactly what we're experiencing right now in this lifetime, on this vast blob, this torrent of tears and manifest fears that we call Earth!

Yes, like it or not  - acknowledge the facts - but we're all stuck here, hopelessly enmeshed, firmly wedged within the ubiquitous quicksands of deceit, deception and perpetual betrayal by everyone and everything around us.  We're all swimming within a encapsulating sea of lies, deceived on all sides, with government and big business the greatest culprits of all! Oh, the joy of it all, to be stuck here in Hell!.

But before I become too evangelical, too zealous in my remonstrations, let's return to the theme of this particular blog, as fundamentally boring as it assuredly is. Anyone easily fatigued by wordy tedium may as well go to sleep right now. No one will notice, certainly not me!

A recent study by the Australian Psychological Society highlighted that one in four Australian adults is lonely, andsuch people have significantly worse mental and physical health than those who are more or less reasonably happy with their lot. I assume similar findings would occur in every developed country.

Loneliness  has significant physical ramifications. Sufferers report trouble with sleeping and experience increased numbers of headaches, stomach complaints, nausea, colds and infections. It also  lowers the levels of psychological health, with victims reporting higher levels of depression, anxiety and lower confidence. No surprises here. Pretty bleedin' obvious. So in one way, sites like this are doing quite a beneficial service to their clients, by mitigating loneliness, both men and women included.

Well done,! I wonder how many souls you've saved over the years? Then simply detract from this total, the number who have suicided through being harshly jilted by their Chinese or Asian lover, and you'll have an accurate net result. I'm sure it'll be a positive number, rather than a negative!  (I think?).

Interestingly, the study showed equal numbers of both genders were lonely. Up till now, I’d assumed there were less lonely ladies, due to females generally being more sociable, including speaking on average, substantially more words per day than men.  In fact, I wrote a blog about this very subject, that can be seen here.

Helping Western Men Chat to Chinese Ladies

But now let's look at a specific example, to amplify upon the topic. For the sake of polite anonymity, let's refer to her as Lady Two.


In this instance, it was me that made the mistake. After being contacted by a Chinese lass, we spoke a couple of times and she seemed pleasant enough. I had decided though, that for a number of extraneous reasons, most likely the friendship would be going nowhere. Disappointing stuff, but such is life. The clincher came when I enquired into her financial status. She responded that she had very little, due to her exhusband having had a gambling addiction. Rotten luck! I felt sympathy for her plight. Been there and done that.

This invidious situation isn't uncommon in China, especially for card playing mahjong fanatics, who often spend hours every day sitting around a table, gambling on the outcome. Many Chinese - both male and female - seem to be mesmorised by this seductive game, playing it endlessly. It's akin to those video game addicts in the West or even worse than this, those boring Western men who spend so much time drinking beer, eating pizza and endlessly watching sport on TV. I'm sure Homer Simpson is based on reality, reflective of about three quarters of the male population in Canada, the US and Australia, after all!

Whoever said men were a bit thick was being too kind. Most men are dimwits, often exacerbated by being peculiarly passive/aggressive in most situations they find themselves in. Just take a look at their belligerent behaviour on the roads! What on Earth lovely Chinese nymphs can see in the vast majority of them - both Chinese as well as Western males - is a complete mystery to me. I can only assume the hapless ladies when partnered with an ugly, aggressive man, imagine him with a paper bag over his head and a corset around his bulging beer belly, as she lies in bed each night!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I told this sadly financially stressed Chinese lady as tactfully as I could, that I was looking for someone who was independent and had their own apartment, their own small nest egg. Let me emphasise I said this politely, not in a brutal manner. But then whammo!  She lost her temper and abused me for being such a terrible, selfish person! No hesitation at all, her anger flowed freely like lava from an exploding volcano.

Once again, I promptly exited from the situation, tail between my legs like a snivelling mongrel dog. Better to act like a simpering coward sometimes in order to live and fight another day! My poor, sensitive ears didn't stop quivering for many days after this heated exchange.

The lesson learnt here was when in the preliminary stages of meeting someone, do NOT mention home or apartment ownership - or finances  -  at least up until you know the person reasonably well. Money is such a ticklish subject in all nations, it seems. Whoever said it was the root of all evil was a dead set genius. I want that man knighted! Whoever said Chinese ladies were largely all sweet, inoffensive creatures on the other hand, was a dead set liar.

Love is such a fickle thing

First you're happy but then the sting

When love's labour's lost inevitably goes down

Frayed feelings overwhelm, emotionally you drown

Within a sea of heartache, mental uproar

Betrayed and belittled, depressed to the core

Til finally you plunge dagger deep into heart

At last unburdened, return back to the start

As spirit soars upward, footloose and free

As ever and ever, you were meant to be

(To be continued)

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2019-01-05 04:06:44 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Barry, this article reminds me of a couple you wrote long ago in which you greatly praised Chinese women and tore a pretty healthy strip out of Western men. You're still taking a pretty good strip out of us guys, but you've lost a bit of your old zeal for the ladies.

I have to say that on either count we can only speak in broad generalities. I don't think Western men are all so bad as you've suggested, but, of course, some are as bad or worse. I also don't think that we can claim that all Chinese women are sweet, beautiful and kind souls, but many certainly are. 

All I feel safe in saying regarding Chinese or Asian women, is that there are far, far fewer of them who are in anti male, rabid feminist state of rage that precludes what maybe a nicer side of them from ever coming out again. That is not all Western women. It is likely less than 20% of Western women.

But those who are in such a rage stand out like a great white sharks in the shallow human filled waters off a popular ocean beach. It's damned hard to notice anything else around you when you're in their company. And these women stand out in the press, stand out on the street, stand out in bars and maybe even stand out on dating sites. 

Contrary to that, in China and the rest of Asia, I would venture to guess that less than 1% of women are in such a rabid feminist rage, probably much less than 1%. That alone explains the perception that Chinese women or Asian women are kinder, gentler people than Western women. But of course there is also the cultural differences that lead us to think these ladies are quieter, more polite, less pushy and more respectful than the ones we knew back home. Those differences are frequently less obvious as time goes by and familiarity settles in.

Anyway, you've now met a couple that are clearly proof that not all Chinese or Asian women or a joy to be with. Don't let it get in your way of finding the one who is and who will be a great match for you. Good luck with that! (beer)(beer)(beer)

Have a few more beers on Barry's tab. Cheers. 

#2019-01-05 08:20:56 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Excellent article, sir!

When you talk about 'lonliness', I'm reminded of the fact that one can be lonely in a crowd.

Is it better to be single, wishing you were married - or married, wishing you were single? This is the dilemma that most of us divorcees know quite well.

Aside from lonliness, the other aspect to address is 'money'. You said -

"Money is such a ticklish subject in all nations, it seems. Whoever said it was the root of all evil was a dead set genius"

I don't want to sound like an asshole, but the above is a common misquote. It's actually, 'The LOVE of money is the root of all evil'.

Money itself is worthless, yet it's the 'love' of those worthless bits of paper that makes people do all the bad things they do when it comes to getting more and more of it.

We also know the cliches such as, 'When is enough, enough?', or 'Too busy making a living in order to make a life'.

There's no doubt hundreds of such cliches, but they all come back to the same thing.

When asked what surprised him about humanity the most, the Dalai Lama replied:

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

How true is that?

I'll finish with my favourite quote of all time - which also happens to come from the Dalai Lama - and it's this -

"If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito"

#2019-01-05 21:04:46 by Map1 @Map1

I have to correct both Paul and Barry referencing as to the Scripture they both incorrectly quote. It's from I Timothy 6:10, which is the letter Paul the Apostle wrote to his spiritual progeny, a young pastor named Timothy. I don't want to hear any  nonsense from that New Age deceiver, Jeffrey Daugherty, who happens to be Paul's go to for so-called scholarly biblical research. We'll deal with that via e-mail, not here on the CLM/ALM blog. The proper Greek translation is "all kinds of evil" NOT "all evil." Very different in meaning.

#2019-01-06 10:46:46 by anonymous18918 @anonymous18918

Lonliness is a state of mind. I'd suggest that Barry embrace his Buddhist beliefs and Paul can utiliize his New Age beliefs to overcome this world and achieve eternal bliss through meditation and chanting.

#2019-01-06 20:43:42 by WarmLifeGz7 @WarmLifeGz7




She responded that she had very little, due to her exhusband having had a gambling addiction. Rotten luck! I felt sympathy for her plight. Been there and done that   --- so you have had an ex-husband ?  

Intriguing article ...  and there are those who considered my writing "mockery" and so on .... Sheeeeeeeesh ....  

Map1 if you are living in the South ?  Would that be anywhere near Guangdong ?   Maybe we could have dinner together ... My treat for you and your charming diamond ...  (handshake)8)

Well done with your stab at witty musing ....   (beer)(beer)

But be careful as you already know that Fox might call you a friend and a moron in the same breath ...  (rofl)(rofl)

Mark? (Map1)   You are having "fun" with Fox via email ?


#2019-01-06 22:15:33 by WarmLifeGz7 @WarmLifeGz7

"Facts"  are tossed about so much that it seems like a fun weekend tossing "red herrings" everywhere ....  which each pontificator can evaluate whether the information is suitable to his presuppositions, taste, style or viability .    (not sure if I have shared this before ) This assertion seems quite similar to my experience of getting into a discussion or even an argument with Chinese women --- especially those who are married or much older -- or even those who are intricately connected with your daily life .    How so?  I know many examples -- but here is a sampler ... The husband who is a foreigner is visiting his mother-in-law's home ...   After many hours of doing nothing ... due to various reasons --- cannot watch TV since the kids have the remote control and flick their way through too many channels ... driving anyone crazy who is trying to pass time ...  -- the other adults are either sitting near each other around a large table or sitting around a living room engaged in a boisterous conversation .... that most likely seems too animated for most foreigners ... No, it is unlikely that they are angry at each other ... to demonstrate this -- simply try to jump in anywhere in their jumbled up bickering and take sides ... immediately, they will group together as one unit and attack you for whatever side you were mentioning  --- lol --- the house is not really a large house either --- several floors --  however, should the foreigner decide to vacate the living room area --  the group will send out a member to seek out your current whereabouts ... and "suggest" (with a similar posture as during the conversational bickering ) that you move your royal butt back to the living room or be threatened with ... (never mind ) lol  ----   dare you even attempt to refuse this "suggestion" will certainly bring about the Wrath of Khan ....   after getting increasingly frustrated with "cabin fever" descending upon your mind and heart ---  You wish you had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak so that you could approach the door stealthily --- As you make your way silently across the tiled floor (not stirring anything even the mouse on a Christmas Eve )  You have not realized that your mother in law has eagle eyes that have by now locked you within her target range -- while you suddenly have the sense of Spidey's spider sense tingling urgently ---   You pause before the door -- dreaming of your exquisite escape from utter boredom -- the sweet refreshing "cold" air rushing around your body --  Then swiftly as an eagle that gracefully soars through the deep blue skies your mother in law is now perched next to you with claws fully extended for a brief moment ...  You slowly turn around ... time seems to have ceased ...   Then with sudden foghorn volume --  你干嘛?  You stand frozen trying to appear nonchalant  ... Because ?  (have you ever seen Kung Fu Hustle with that menacing Female Tiger Landlady ? -- no ?  never mind ) lol    ---     你出哪里? To save space here ... I will omit the next flow of cloak and dagger between him and his mother in law --- with every attempt at making any polite excuse is smashed to tiny bits with 10 reasons per excuse --  same phenomena happens while trying to engage Chinese wife with any reasoning as well ... make a statement -- receive 10 comments per each statement -- try to deal with any of her comments will ensue another 10 statements per each comment ...   the walls slowly etch their way across the tiled floor threatening to flatten your body once the walls press up against each other ...   Want to emulate Fox's catcalling for males to have much more testosterone enhanced social behavior --  哈哈哈哈哈哈 --  try it bucko ... You open that door and walk outside into the "cold" air that whistles around your body ...  without any coat that has been left behind ...  Wander around ... go ahead .. drive yer car .. take the bus ... chat with "lovely flowers" wherever you might find them ....  eat ... drink .. enjoy your movie ... whatever ... Then when your macho body returns to the Eagles nest ... You will encounter that menacing Female Tiger Landlady along with additional female family members all with enough firepower to blast you into kingdom come ... Their foghorns blaring at the decibel level as in MJ's Black or White video that sent the father careening through the roof ....   And it doesn't cease for hours ... Lest you attempt to "manhandle" this situation then the male members of the family get involved ....    LOL


#2019-01-06 22:17:52 by WarmLifeGz7 @WarmLifeGz7

The way she came into the place

I knew right then and there

There was something different

About this woman

The way she moved

Her hair, her face, her lines

Female Tiger in motion

As she stalked the room

I could feel the aura

Of her presence

Every head turned

Feeling anxiety and FUD

The woman was persuasive

The woman I could not deal with

The woman was a Tiger

The woman was dangerous

I never knew but I was

Walking the line ---

Crossing the line ....

Where are you going ?

I said outside for a time

 Don't you pretend or fib!

Don't be talking on the phone

My heart sank -- my mind frozen

She left me standing alone

While the Tiger roamed the room

Once again stalking or talking


She's so dangerous

The Tiger is so dangerous

Take away my money

Throw away my time

You can't call her honey

She tell ya

 you're no damn good for anything

but as a Taxi driver or money tree

[Spoken Interlude]

She came at me

With eyes flashing like knives

With the eyes of a angry Tiger

I fell trapped by her stalking

Web of intrique

A hammer in her voice

An icy grip of anxiety

gripping mind and heart

A whisper of love encased

in a frozen castle

I was at the point

Of no return

Deep in the darkness of

this social insanity

I felt taken by inscrutable shadows

Strange inhumanity

This woman was persuasive

This woman I could not avoid

The Tiger was "bad"

The Tiger was dangerous

[Verse 2]

I never knew

But I was living in vain

The Tiger called to her house

She said you know my name

And don't you pretend

You never did me before

With anguish in my eyes

I couldn't walk out the door


She's so dangerous

The Tiger is so dangerous

Take away my money

Throw away my time

You can't call her "honey"

But I'm no damn good for anything

cept being a taxi driver or money tree

[Alternate Chorus]


The Tiger is too dangerous

I have to pray fervently

Cause I know how

Lust can blind

It's a passion in the soul

But now You're no damn lover

Nor a Friend of mine


I can sleep alone tonight

Tiger left me here

in the dark shadows ... tonight

I cannot cope 'til it's all right

You and your manipulation

You hurt my mind and heart

[Spoken Interlude]

And then it happened

The Tiger's words scorched me

For the lips of

A Tiger woman

Drop as a honeycomb

And her mouth was

Smoother than oil

But her cold heart encased

in a frozen castle

Words as sharp as

A two-edged sword

But I feared it

Cause it's dangerous



The Tiger is so dangerous

Take away my money

Throw away my time

You can't call her honey

But she constantly says

you're no damn good for me

except as a taxi driver and money tree


The Tiger is too dangerous

I have to pray fervently

Cause I know how

Lust can blind

It's a passion in the soul

But now You're no damn lover

Nor a Friend of mine

Ok .. Ok  好了.... 好了   before the Chinese women or others want to burn me ...    This is an exaggerated satire based partially on a Michael Jackson song and on actual experiences with various Tiger females and Mother-in-laws that I have heard about or known ..      LOL




#2019-01-07 00:42:29 by anonymous18923 @anonymous18923

Barry, I like this entry in your series. We need to change the Devils name from Lucifer which is commonly known to be a man's name in reference, since women are more likely to have the personality traits to be a Devil, we men need to come up with a feminine name for the Devil.

Chinese women have no filter remember? English is their second language so they tend to say whatever is on their minds with no concept of diplomacy or the true meanings behind the words, how the same words can have different meanings. Is not directness a refreshing change from the self absorbed meetoo feminists in the west? 

Men should not wear tighty whiteys lol, in fact men should all go commando as it is better for their "JUNK" and frame of mind.

Gambling is an addiction that tends to ruin many women and men equally. It tends to destroy families, finances and careers too. The lure of the score is huge.

I find it very interesting when initially talking/chatting with a chinese woman they think it is okay to ask all sorts of personal questions about you but when we ask the same questions we get hostility and anger back. Different cultures, different set of rules.

Loneliness is becoming more and more prevelant in the world. I personally believe it is because of the pressure from Feminist activist groups and the Global elitists changing the way we look at a family unit and how so called gender equality has turned men and women upside down. Men have millions of years of development which has wired us to be hunter gatherers, providers and protectors, now we are getting that stolen from us by the brainwashing of these global elitists leaving many women and men floundering. Religion does not cure anything, it does not fix the problem. Even if you are a Catholic or a Christian the church is under attack from the Global elites, so there is no peace or protection to be found there. Men are shying away from marriage in record numbers in the West.

I agree with above anon18918 that loneliness is a state of mind. Maybe turning to Buddhism is a good alternative! Inner peace I believe is what we all strive for? A little bit of peace which we all strive for but so few of us find.

Can a woman actually give you peace in your life or does looking out for yourself first, surrounding yourself with family and loved ones bring you peace. OR does communing with nature bring you the peace and fullness of life we seek?

Give me a cold beer, a good bbq'd bone in ribsteak, garlic mashed potatoes, green veggies, chocolate cake for dessert and I am never lonely!!!

"cool for cats"

"take on me"

"The King"

"How can that be?"


signed: The Phantom Anonymous Poster!!!!!!!!




#2019-01-08 23:10:21 by Map1 @Map1

My profile says I'm in Changchun where I studied Mandarin at Dongbei ShiDa for two years. But I'm now down south in Hunan Province where my wife lives and works. I haven't been to Guangdong Province or Guangzhou in years

#2019-01-09 22:45:25 by autumn2066 @autumn2066



Have read two times and still your funny writing makes me laugh loud. Very interesting blog!  :D

You are right,Barry,not all Chinese women are soft sweet little angels. I have seen and heard some Chinese women are not angels at all, some of them could jump up to slap on their husband's face in quarrel,some could misuse their daughters because Chinese culture values son,some could be very mean humilating their family members for fun,and bullying is a serious and pervasive problem in some middle and high schools,and you might find some video of some angry Chinese women pull each other's hair rolling on the groud fighting for a man, some angry wives even lost their mind, poured gasoline on their husband's mistress and then throw a match on her in public.....So I totally agree with you that whoever said Chinese ladies were largely all sweet,inoffensive creatures on the other hand, was a dead set liar. 

But one thing we need to admit that there are all kinds of angry or violent people all over the world, from different countries, culture, religions,and different gender, age and race.And I do think Chinese women are not the worse, not the best,just as common as other countries' women.If western men think all the Chinese women are sweet little angels, they must have some illution or naive imagination about Oriental mythology which might be lead on by some Eastern ancient legends.Women were not born to be sweet,women were forced to be sweet by religions and culture.As China's economic status improving quickly, Chinese women's incomes increase and national pride increases,more and more Chinese women will no longer willing to be sweet and obedient as before.

If we met some angry women in CLM, let us call it bad luck. Isn't it quite common in our dating in reality life? Usually we have to date quite a lot people whom we dislike untill we met some we like?

All kinds of people in this world, the pressive of life might be similar whatever in Western countries or in China.Some angry people might not be that bad, they might be just not that good at dealing with their pressure and problem in their reality, so they lost contrl and then vent their anger on other people.I have met quite a lot Chinese people in reality and some western men in internet vented their angry and pressure on me, usually I will try to sympathise them,listen to their complain, help them sort their mind out if they want,forgive them,and then move on. 

Keep hope, there are millions of fishes in ocean.Good luck, my friend. :D

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