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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Chinese Dating Via Thailand Part 3: The Calm Before the Storm 与中国女人在泰国约会 第三部分 暴风雨前的宁静    

By Paul Fox
3939 Views | 11 Comments | 1/17/2015 5:18:42 PM

We were still giggling about the Japanese diners as we arrived back in the hotel carrying the fresh fruit we had bought from a street vendor on the way home.

I mentioned before that Thai pineapple has to be the best ever, but Thai long and fresh green coconut is up there too.

Amy loved the coconuts. For a couple of bucks you could buy an ice cold one brimming with juice and soft juicy flesh.

We turned on the tv and were immediately stunned by the news of the Air Asia missing plane - it was the first we had heard about it, and so the subject of Japanese diners quickly disappeared.



Monday dawned and there was much to do. The hotel itself had been pretty good and the room was more than comfortable but the so called "buffet breakfast" left much to be desired so once again we decided to go to a cafe to eat. 

The scooter needed to be returned, luggage packed, last minute bits of shopping etc and to top it all the hotel wanted us out by noon.

We asked for a late check out - an extra couple of hours would have been nice - but they wanted to charge for an extra night which was just ridiculous.

The news of the Air Asia missing plane had just been updated with, quite frankly, no news and it was in the forefront of our minds especially since we were taking an Air Asia flight that night .

Add to all the above, the weather looked to be terrible and we were leaving Krabi at the end of what had been a wonderful holiday.

Doom and gloom all round lol.

My mate sent a message to say that he had taken some medication and that his belly was much better, though he would stay away from food for as long as possible, and said that they were heading to the beach if we cared to join them.

I decided to hang on to the scooter until the last minute so after breakfast we did our shopping, packed our suitcases and checked out of the hotel at just after 12  noon.

A taxi was due to pick us up from the hotel at 5.30pm so I was hanging on to the scooter till 5 o'clock at least 

The hotel took care of our luggage while we went to the beach to meet my mate and his girlfriend but literally just as we sat down on the beach the black clouds came in and the heavens opened - big time! 

The hoards of people on the beach were running for shelter whilst the people bathing in the sea simply carried on like nothing was happening.

Right behind Amy and I there were some massage tents so we quickly ducked into one for cover. My mate and his girl had taken a massage there every day since their arrival so we were all welcome to shelter from the heavy rain.

Amy decided to ask for a massage and our hosts were eager to oblige 

I explained to them that Amy likes a strong and firm massage so another Thai lady was called over to perform her massage skills on Amy.

This masseur didn't speak a word of English so every time Amy asked me to tell her "SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB" in Chinese, I had to translate into English and tell my mates Thai girlfriend so she could then translate into Thai and tell the masseur . Amy quickly realised this and started asking me to tell her this and tell her that - each time with a typical cheeky Chinese woman smile on her face.

"Oh, you want to play THAT game? " I said she as looked at me blankly - OK no problem! 

"Tell her she's doing great" Amy said once again

"Tell her she's rubbish" i said to my mates girl 

"Tell her harder " said Amy

"Tell her softer" was my translation 

Amy quickly realised she couldn't win this one so just smiled and gave up lol

The rain was waning now but the temperature had dropped quite a lot and we were all feeling the cold in our shorts and t shirts.

As we all headed off, my mate said we were welcome to go with them to their hotel for a while but it was 3.30 pm and I wanted to eat so said we would join them later.

We needed to be at the airport by 6pm for our flight at 8.45pm so by the time we had eaten, dropped off the scooter etc we had about 30 minutes to go say goodbye.

They wished us well on our trip back to China but one thing that none of us could possibly have known was that Amy and I were about to embark on the journey from hell...



 我们回到酒店时候还在因为那些日本人笑得乐不可支,路上我们从路边小摊上买了新鲜的水果带回酒店。前面我提到过泰国菠萝是世界上最美味的,而泰国的长长的新鲜椰子也是最棒的。Amy很喜欢吃椰子。几块钱就能买一个满是椰汁和柔软椰肉的冰椰子。



 我们打开电视就看到了亚洲航空公司飞机失事的新闻,不禁目瞪口呆。我们第一次听到这个新闻,当然日本人的话题马上消失了。



星期一了,事情很多。酒店很不错,房间也特别舒服,可是他们所谓的“自助早餐”远远不行,所以我们决定再去餐馆吃。我们还需要还摩托车,收拾行李,再买点东西,尤其不方便的是是酒店希望我们中午之前退房。我们想晚点退房—晚几个小时就非常好—可是他们让我们再付一个晚上的钱,这太过分了。



 亚航飞机失事有了最近的报道,说实话,我们脑子里想的都是这事,毕竟我们晚上就坐的是亚航。而且天气看起来很糟糕,完美的度假结束了,我们要离开Krabi了。阴云密布下,不祥之感笼罩着我们。



我朋友发短信说他吃了药好多了,可是他还是不能吃饭,他们打算去海边,如果我们想可以一起去。 我决定尽量最晚一刻再还电动车,吃过早饭以后,我们买了东西,收拾行李,十二点刚过就退了房。出租车五点三十来酒店接我们,所以我打算一直到五点再还电动车。



我们把行李存在了酒店,然后去海边见朋友。不料我们的屁股刚挨到沙滩上,黑云紧追过来,天空好像开了个大口子,雨下得那个大呀!



海滩上的人跑来跑去,找地方避雨,而海里的人倒好,没事人一般继续游泳、泡水。



我和Amy后面正好有些按摩用的凉棚,我们赶快躲进去了。我朋友他们每天都在那里按摩,所以我们也可以在里面躲避这突降的大雨。



Amy决定做个按摩,我们的主人很爽快地同意了。我解释说Amy喜欢按摩重一点 ,用力一点。所以他们叫了另一个泰国女人给她做。按摩师一句英文也不会,每次Amy都要告诉我“她很棒”,我翻译成英文,告诉我的朋友的泰国女朋友,她再翻译成泰语告诉按摩师。Amy很快发现了这点,问我这问我那,每次脸上都带着一种中国女人典型的 耍赖(?)的 笑容。



“怎么?你想玩那个游戏吗?”她一脸茫然地看着我。好,没问题,    我奉陪到底!



“告诉她她很棒。”Amy又开始说。



“告诉她她是垃圾。”我告诉朋友的女友。



“告诉她用点劲。”Amy说。



“告诉她轻一点。”我说。



Amy马上意识到这招不灵,她微笑着,放弃了。



现在雨小了,温度也降了很多,我们穿着短裤和衬衫,觉得凉意阵阵。



我们走的时候,朋友说我们可以跟他们一起去酒店。可是已经三点半了,我想吃饭,就告诉他们吃完饭去找他们。我们六点需要赶到机场,飞机是晚上八点三刻的。我们吃了饭,还了电动车,还有半个小时可以告别。他们祝我们旅途顺利,有一件事我们没有人预料到,就是Amy和我将要开始一场噩梦之旅….



未完待续


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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 11) 1 2 More...
#2015-01-17 18:38:30 by Anniehow @Anniehow

Paul, I had a hard time trying to translate "typical cheeky Chinese woman's smile". Care to explain and elaborate?

As a Chinese woman, I am totally baffled.

#2015-01-17 19:50:12 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1

"one thing that none of us could possibly have known was that Amy and I were about to embark on the journey from hell..."

Thanks for the interesting story of your Thailand journey, Paul - but you have me all excited now about the "journey from hell" return trip home to China that you and Amy are about to embark on. I can barely wait until your next episode. (rofl)

#2015-01-18 16:05:29 by melcyan @melcyan

@Anniehow

Good comment Annie. I have spoken to many, many Chinese women in both China and Australia. I know what a cheeky woman's smile looks like but it is not a phrase I would readily associate with a Chinese woman. I think it might be just another case of a man seeing what he wants to see. I have seen that many, many times.

#2015-01-18 22:20:45 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

HI Anniehow
Cheeky smile = kind of cute smile with a look of mischief added as well

@Barry1
Don't get too excited mate it will probably be a 'damp-squib' - but it was bad enough for us at the time

#2015-01-20 07:34:51 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@paulfox1
Hi Paul,
My goodness,... what an inventive definition of "cheeky smile". ;)
Certainly it is less harsh than Webester's description.
It's good to know that someone else has practiced the art of "Cover Your Butt". (giggle)
Nice sidestep Bro. (y)

Just for added consideration, I sense this "cheeky smile" thing for Chinese women (now spread to all races worldwide) may have it's roots in the ancient Oriental concept of
Pun Ya Go meaning,......tell a joke and split. Rebe Ya Go is closely related.
Perhaps some was used in the question ? If so, the humor was detected here. :D

Patiently awaiting your rendition of "the journey from hell".
YTY

#2015-01-20 14:42:11 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Okay, I'll bite. I read this last comment by Paul to Barry and thought "What the hell is a 'damp-squib'"? I mean, I have heard the phrase before, and just as Paul has used it, I have understood it to mean something that turns out to be less exciting or eventful than anticipated. But for some reason for the first time I wondered what. literally, is a "damp-squib".

So I looked it up on the internet of course! But now I'm curious. Without looking it up yourselves, who can tell us what a damp-squib is?

Paul?

#2015-01-20 23:01:32 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Haha
OK, Mr Abbot - I am NOT looking it up on 'tinterweb' but isn't the origin something to do with a firework ?

You light the blue touchpaper expecting a huge exciting explosion, but it's a little damp so it just kinda goes 'PHUT'

It was then used metaphorically in order to describe something that is not perhaps as exciting as you EXPECT it to be

I'm open to criticism but I think that's the origin

Now I've posted this I guess I am free to check and confirm - right ? lol

#2015-01-20 23:19:30 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@JohnAbbot
@paulfox1
Hi John and Paul,
Allow me to comment on this "damp squib" interpretation please.
I first thought "squib" to be some colloquial Australian expression regarding a limp sea creature out of it's element but,... that didn't seem to fit.
Then I thought Paul may have misspelled the word, possibly for a little bit of "Pun Ya Go" but,... Paul rarely misspells a word.

Next I remembered from childhood a certain "One A Day" vitamin tablet that was made by a company named Squibb(?) and if they were exposed to the humid Texas air would almost dissolve in your hand and taste bitter when taken.
Still,... this did not seem to fit.

Then I heard someone in the adjacent park lighting off a few fireworks two nights ago and my mind went back to fireworks experience with Dad on 4th of July.
When making a purchase at the fireworks stand he would always make sure that the fireworks he bought would be wrapped in cellophane so as to make a good explosion.
It really does get humid in Texas. He called the small firecrackers "Squibs".
I wondered where he got this name and then remembered that he spent 7 years in Liverpool, England going to medical school. Perhaps he picked it up there?
I remember reading in Paul's blogger bio. that he is originally from the UK and I thought the expression might be common for a firecracker that had lost its' gunpowder potency due to moisture. That seemed to fit.

Paul, is this the intended context ?? If not,... I will readily stand in correction.
My only plea is "Excessive Brainiac Engagement".
I await learned council's decision....
Peace,
Y.T.Y.

P.S. I now go to the Big Dic-tionary. (giggle)

#2015-01-21 14:19:52 by melcyan @melcyan

@John Abbott
Without looking it up and straining my memory from my childhood use of fireworks I took it to mean a cracker with a wet wick. The wick starts to burn and then it goes out. I think we also called it a fizzer. We would then break the cracker in half and put a match to the powder turning it into a mini Roman candle. When I looked it up on the internet I found that I was not 100% right but I was close.
(By the way I still have all my fingers)

#2015-01-21 15:26:27 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Let me say that I am a little miffed (and suspicious) that three of you knew (or came damned close) what a damp squib is when I had no idea. However, I take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone.

According to The Telegraph a "damp squib" is "a term for failure named after a dud 19th century explosive mining device", so not a fireworks item exactly, but a lot closer than anything that passed through my noggin.

The reason I say I am not alone is that The Telegraph's reason for reporting on a "damp squib" at all is that the phrase had come up in a survey of 1,000 Brits as the most misquoted phrase in Britain. I mean if those dumb buggers (excuse me Paul) don't know the true meaning of their own phrases, why should I?

At least I didn't think it was about not quite dry seafood as those losers did. If anyone is interested they can read abut that and the other 9 most misquoted phrases in Britain here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4799157/Damp-Squid-The-top-10-misquoted-phrases-in-Britain.html

Of interest we will shortly be posting an article in which we protest, on your behalf, a recent article in which the Telegraph took a nasty poke at guys like you (and me) and the women we love to love. Keep your eyes open for that.

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