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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Chinese Dating Via Thailand Part 1: The Adventure Begins 与中国女人在泰国约会 第一部分 开始冒险    

By Paul Fox
4546 Views | 16 Comments | 1/4/2015 12:15:20 PM

A little Chinglish on the road to Thailand.

Thailand - arguably the sex capital of Asia so why on earth would a middle aged fat bastard such as myself currently embroiled in serious Chinese dating take his new Chinese girlfriend to such a destination? (Was a question often asked by my friends) "Taking sand to the beach? Taking snow to the Arctic?" Was a common parallel 



It's a long story that's going to be coming to you in several chapters over the coming weeks



The stories i will be telling will hopefully benefit many members on CLM - both guys and girls !



Time after time I read stories whereby 2 people meet online, chat and video for a while and then give up everything to go get married without meeting 



My mother told me many years ago that you don't really know a person until you live with them and never a truer word was spoken 



So enter .... Amy



We met back in Sept on China Love Match and began chatting on qq and wechat. Her english is terrible - in fact I could probably speak Klingon better than she speaks English - but it didn't deter us



My Chinese is pretty good and these days with smart phones having translate tools it's not difficult to communicate 

I am originally from the UK and moved to Australia in 2000. I never did quite grasp the concept of Christmas day on the beach in 40 degree heat eating crayfish and prawns for Christmas dinner with frosty the snowman playing on the radio - just don't quite feel  right somehow 

Xmas 2013 saw me in China where the weather was cooler, nights were darker and frosty the snowman was more than welcome.

So this year I decided to spend Christmas in China once again.

I told Amy that I would be coming and although she was happy, she told me that it was a busy time at work and she would struggle to get time off.

I was due to arrive 17th Dec (Wednesday ) but after giving it some serious thought and lots of Internet searching I finally suggested to Amy that we go to Krabi for Xmas 

To cut a long story short Amys boss made her work 7 days a week right up to Dec 20 in order for her to take 10 days leave

She was nervous and excited yet at the same time appeared to not be expecting too much and seemed happy just to go with the flow so to speak.

I arrived around 11pm on 17th and Amy was at the airport waiting with her friend. 

The real Amy looked exactly like she did in her photos. She had had her hair specially done and she looked great.

We went and had something to eat before heading to the hotel she had booked for me.

The next 3 days were pretty boring for me because Amy was working till 6pm but she had arranged dinner at her friends house on theThursday so her friend picked me up in the afternoon to go shopping - tonight was western food as well as chinese food - and I was cooking the western food - including the crayfish I had brought from Australia.

There were 6 of us for dinner and i was the only one who could speak English. It's amazing how much fun you can still have when you speak different languages lol

Friday night Amy had told me that we would be going for dinner with her 16 year old daughter. Amy met me straight after work and her daughter was with her on her scooter. Amy introduced us and told me to jump on the back of the scooter and she would join us soon. As me and her daughter waited outside the restaurant Amy arrived along with her mother, father, sister,neice and later her brother.

As we all sat eating dinner I began to wonder what this family affair was all about. I had learned years ago that it's unusual to meet a girls family unless marriage was on the cards - had Amy got ideas of marriage so quickly?

After dinner Amy, her daughter and I all went off to ktv together to sing some songs and drink some beer and tea before heading off to bed.

Saturday was Amys last day at work and Sunday morning we were due to set off early so I really wanted an early night on Saturday 

We had dinner together before preparing for the trip.

For those that don't know, Chinese airlines are not the most reliable as far as delays and cancelations are concerned - in fact they are notorious! 

It's the only country in the world where I have seen exits for canceled flights  (see photo)

We were flying from Guangzhou  international which meant a quick one hour domestic flight from Amys home town then transfer to the international terminal.

Amys home town to Guangzhou is not that far (as I said, only an hour) and there is a flight twice a day. The evening flight was due in at11pm but our international flight was taking off at 02.20 so any delay could have caused us to miss our plane. The earlier flight meant 14 hours in Guangzhou but a risk not worth taking so we took the morning flight. 

Fortunately we were able to get a hotel room for around  $30 so we could take an afternoon nap and get a shower etc.

I began to reflect on Friday nights family dinner and it soon dawned on me that maybe the family introduction was so these gracious people could all get to meet the guy who was taking their little girl out of the country for a week ?

The time finally arrived for us to check in at Guangzhou international.Here I am taking a girl that I only just met off to Thailand for a week - had i done the right thing? Too late now......



To be continued.



泰国 ,  可以说是世界闻名的亚洲性都。我,一个大腹便便、  正值中年的坏蛋,究竟为什么带中国女朋友去这样一个地方?(我的朋友经常问我这个问题)。这就类似于“带着沙子去海滩,带着雪花去北极”。



这个故事说来话长,接下来几周我会分几部分来讲。希望我的故事可以让CLM很多人受益--不管是男的还是女的。很多次我都读到这样的故事:两个人网上认识, 视频聊天一段时间,然后就放弃自己国内的一切跟对方结婚了,之前连一面都没见。



多年以前,我老妈就告诉我, 只有跟一个人生活在一起你才能了解他。老妈说的绝对是真理。



下面入场的是….Amy。



我们九月在CLM上认识,开始在QQ和微信上联系。她的英语很糟糕, 实际上我的Klingon要好过她的英文,然而语言不是障碍。我的中文很好,现在智能手机上有翻译软件,交流并不困难。



我老家在英国,2000年搬到澳大利亚。我从来都不太能理解在热带过圣诞节的意义:四十度的高温下在沙滩上吃crayfish和大海虾,一边听着收音机上的雪人歌….. 总感觉哪里有点不对劲。



2013圣诞节我是在中国过的,天气凉快,夜色黑暗,雪人歌很应景。所以今年我也打算在中国过圣诞节。我告诉Amy我要过来,她很高兴,可是告诉我到时候她工作会很忙,很难请假抽身。我是12月17号到达中国,是个星期三。但是我仔细想了想,网上查了很久,最后建议我们去泰国Krabi过圣诞节。



长话短说,Amy的老板让她20号以前每周工作七天,这样她可以休十天假。她又紧张又激动,同时好像期望不是很高,一切顺其自然的感觉。



我17号晚上11点左右到达,Amy和她的朋友在机场等我。她本人看起来跟相片上完全一样,特意去做了头发,很好看。我们去吃了点东西,然后去了她帮我订的酒店。



接下来三天我非常无聊,因为每天Amy都六点才下班。不过星期四我们约好了在她朋友家吃饭,她的朋友下午来接我去买东西。晚餐是中西合璧—我做西餐,其中包括我从澳大利亚带来的crayfish。晚餐来了六个人,就我一个人会说英文。我们说着不同的语言还玩得很开心,这种感觉真是棒极了。



星期五晚上Amy告诉我我们跟她16岁的女儿去吃晚饭。她下班以后直接来见我,他的女儿坐在她的电动车后座上。介绍我们认识以后,Amy让我骑车先走,她一会儿就到。我和她女儿在餐馆外面等的时候,Amy和她的父母,姐姐,外甥女来了,后来他哥哥也到了。



我们坐下来吃晚饭,我开始想她家人都在场是什么意思呢?多年以前我就知道在中国除非男女双方都考虑婚姻,否则不会轻易见家人的,难道Amy这么快就考虑我们的婚姻大事了?



晚饭后Amy、她的女儿和我一起去K歌,我们唱歌、  喝啤酒、 茶,然后回去休息。星期六她上最后一天班,我们星期天是很早的航班,所以周六我们应该早点休息。一起吃过晚饭以后我们开始收拾行李。



各位可能有不太了解的,中国的航空公司不太靠谱,晚点或取消航班是常事,事实上他们这毛病“闻名世界”!我只有在中国才见过已取消航班专用出口 (见照片)。



我们从广州国际机场起飞,这就意味着我们要从Amy的城市飞到广州然后转到国际航站。从她的老家到广州不太远(我说过只要一个小时),每天两趟航班。飞机是晚上十一点的,我们的国际航班是凌晨两点二十的,如有任何闪失,我们都会误了飞机。坐早班飞机的话,就会在广州停留十四个小时,为了保险起见,我们坐了早班飞机。



我们运气比较好,找到了一个便宜的房间,三十美金一天,我们可以休息休息,洗洗澡  。我又回想起星期五晚上的家庭聚餐,我很快就想到可能这些仁慈敦厚的人都见一下这个陌生男人,毕竟他将要把他们的小女儿带出国旅游一个星期。



时间到了,我们该在广州国际机场登机了。我刚刚认识这个女孩,就要带她去泰国一个星期-这件事件事做得对不对?现在太晚了…..



 



未完待续


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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 16) 1 2 More...
#2015-01-04 12:30:50 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Paul, it's great to have you back blogging, and especially so with a series that promises to be as interesting this one does. I have my own experience of choosing to meet someone I was dating online in Thailand, and I'm pretty sure the story would cause some ripples here because she was not a Chinese woman. Maybe when time allows I'll do a blog on that.

Pretty obviously my experience did not result in a long term relationship, so I hope your Thai experiment works out better than mine. I'm looking forward to finding out.

Cheers, Mate

NOTE: We really wish to thank AnnieHow for providing the translation for this series. We are advised by someone who really knows that Annie did a great job on this. We can't thank you enough.

So cheers to you too Annie.

#2015-01-04 13:10:36 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1

"My Chinese is pretty good"

It's interesting that you can speak reasonable Chinese, Paul.

How long did it take to reach this standard and if you took an online course, which one would you recommend?

Although I have been told person to person tuition makes the process much more easy - would you agree with this?

Good luck with Amy, Paul. (y)

#2015-01-04 19:49:29 by Anniehow @Anniehow

@JohnAbbot

After sending it to you, I realized that I forgot to indent. Oh well. At least I have been honestly translating Paul’s original style. ;)

Paul, I have to say your punctuation is a little wild! (sweat);) Writing style consistent with personality?(rofl)

#2015-01-04 22:49:36 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@paulfox1
Hi Paul,
This story has my interest.
From what you have written it is, in my mind, perfectly understandable at this point in the story to be a little bit concerned about the possible "marriage thing" so quickly. (sweat):D
However,...I hope you did not allow yourself to become overly consumed with those ideas.
I sense Amy just wanted her family to meet you so that they would have some comfort in knowing that their loved one would be in company with a man of some integrity(?). :D
I await your next entry.
Good Luck Brother,
Gongji

@Anniehow
Hi Annie,
I just wanted to offer sincere thanks for the translation.
It's so important for us western guys to get our words understood.
Many of us are sort of "stuck" with this issue.
From the minimal electronic translators I have,...all you did seems most accurate.
Thanks for joining this group and sharing your insights.
Perhaps you might drop by "Gongji's Blog" if you have the time ?
You are welcome to visit and comment.
Peace,
Gongji

#2015-01-05 07:14:32 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@barry1
thanks for your comments Barry. Readers will hopefully get the full story as this series continues and I would also like to thank Annie for her translation here
The truth is that I know Amy will read these blogs and I really didn't want her to have to rely on an electronic translate tool so we asked Annie to help so that there is no misunderstanding
i have been writing these blogs on my phone which is not an easy task but I sincerely hope that members will benefit from my ramblings
As far as Chinese language learning goes, in my opinion any guy who wants to become involved with a Chinese lady should take the time to learn basic Chinese at least
The problem with most of us westerners is that we are lazy bastards
We expect people to learn English rather than us learning to speak a foreign language
Chinese is hard to learn - seriously hard
But it's well worth the effort and if you take your time - say learn one new word every day - the results are anazing and you be in awe at the amount of respect you get from Chinese native speakers
i started learning back in 2009 and I am so happy that I did
Doors have opened up for me like you would never think possible
Look for a local native Chinese speaker - not necessarily a "teacher" - just a native
Chances are that you will get lessons cheaply
I pay my teacher AUD $25 for a couple of hours each week and we are both quite happy with that arrangement

#2015-01-05 13:31:36 by canadianmike @canadianmike

@paulfox1
What an excellent promise for a blog series! And you're adept at leaving the audience hanging at the perfect time in the narration. Damn you! ]:)
I am so busy these days with work that I look forward to another adventure blog. This will be a great read and I know you won't let us down. Carry on!

@barry1
I, too, am imagining Paul sitting there telling an old woman he is taking her daughter out of the country for a week. In Chinese! The mental image is awesome! (rofl)
Learning Chinese is a challenge but not that bad, as I've recently discovered. I have been trying to learn Mandarin this last year and it is slowly coming along. I use the online resource www.yoyochinese.com and I have bought the book "Chineasy" by Shaolan to get a very crude introduction to characters and how to identify/interpret. The one thing that I can honestly say has helped me the most is daily review of what was recently covered. If you have a friend who will help you in simple conversation, even better! As always, your mileage may vary. :)

@johnabbot
Do the Thai blog article, John!

#2015-01-05 16:50:55 by Barry1 @Barry1

@Anniehow

"Paul, I have to say your punctuation is a little wild! Writing style consistent with personality?"

This gave me a good laugh, thank you, Annie. It seems I'm not the only one who's noticed Paul's writing style on occasion is very interesting indeed! (rofl)

#2015-01-05 16:52:35 by Barry1 @Barry1

@canadianmike

"Learning Chinese is a challenge but not that bad"

Thanks for the tips, Mike. I've made a note of what you've said, which is much appreciated! (y)

#2015-01-05 17:22:49 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@Anniehow
i am so sorry about my punctuation
as i said, these blogs have been written using my phone only, so punctuation has not been on the forefront of my mind.
I promise to try harder lol

#2015-01-07 04:03:45 by Anniehow @Anniehow

@Barry1

Your punctuation is neat, impressive. It took me a while to adapt to a new style! ;)

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