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Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Chinese Dating Via Thailand Conclusion: My Journey Ends As It Began- Alone    

By Paul Fox
5988 Views | 24 Comments | 3/6/2015 3:09:41 PM

Alone again, naturally.



As I said earlier, New Year’s Eve was a bit of a ‘non-event’ due to Amy’s childish behaviour and New Year’s Day was OK.  The worst of it began on January 3rd when I needed to fly down to Guangzhou to meet a good friend from Australia.



Part of what I do for a living is to help people source products from China at a fraction of the cost of what they would pay for the same goods here in Australia. My mate is building a new house and had never been to China before.



His flight from Perth would arrive at 5.30pm on the Sunday, but the only flight I could get on that Sunday arrived at 11pm, so I needed to fly down the day before.



As soon as I landed, the questions started. Where are you, who are you with, are you with a woman? – It just went on and on………..



She would video call me when I was out with my mate eating or drinking. She would video call me at 6.30 in the morning and wake me up so that she could see that I did not have a woman in my bed – absolutely RIDICULOUS!



So finally I had no choice but to say enough is enough and sadly Amy and I said goodbye to each other.



She sent me a final message (before she deleted me) asking me to please delete all her photos off my phone, especially the photos of the 2 of us. You see, this was Amy’s answer to everything – just hit ‘DELETE’ and all the memories etc will simply go away!



The one big problem that I had was that it was my INTENTION to go back to her city before returning home and I had left a suitcase full of clothes in the hotel. Now I had no other reason to go other than to collect my luggage.



Remember Christina? The lady I met in the lift? – What a diamond!



I called her and explained what had happened between me and Amy. She said that flying back up there would be expensive and a trip by bullet train was 6 hours each way – oh what fun!



Christina kindly offered to go to the hotel, collect my bag and send it down by courier to the hotel I was staying in.



It took about 3 days to arrive and was I glad when it did – I had been wearing the same shirt for 4 days – haha!



The fact remains that there was a small hole in my heart where Amy once lived – even though we were only together for a couple of weeks, but this too has passed...



Amy is a beautiful girl with a big honest heart and I am sure that many men would be proud to call her his wife



So what is the conclusion to all this ?



I have heard many times about people meeting on CLM (and other sites) and eventually the guy has got on a plane to China in order to marry her.



Can you IMAGINE what would have happened if I had simply gone to meet Amy for the first time and we had married?



Perish the thought – lol



The holiday to Thailand was a decision I still do not regret making – and I would happily do it again (with another lady, obviously) and is something that I would highly recommend.



Jumping on a plane to go and meet your lady in order to marry her, is something I would NEVER recommend…..and if you are considering it, then I respectfully suggest that you read this series of blogs over again.



It’s a new year – a new start – good luck to US all!


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 24) 1 2 3 More...
#2015-03-06 15:31:00 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Paul, first I want to apologize for the delay in posting this. Of course it was set to go up more than two weeks ago but then we got the bad news about Gareth. I'm sure you, probably better than anyone else, can understand it was hard to post a new blog, because it just feels too much like closing the door on Gareth's time with us, even though I have no intention of doing that.

Regarding this post, I am sorry for you that it didn't work out, but I also agree with you that it was an incredibly wise investment to take the trip to Thailand and spend some serious time together. I did the same thing once and it may well have saved me a lifetime of grief.

I wish the best to both you and Amy at the end of this adventure and the beginning of the next one for each of you. I'm sure about now you are both realizing that it wasn't going to work and it is better that it has ended, Go forward, my friend, and never look back!

#2015-03-06 15:45:29 by Barry1 @Barry1

@paulfox1

Your interesting tale replete as it is of both highs and lows, ups and downs, provides a perfect demonstration of the value of these forums and blogs, Paul, for those smart enough to read them.

Well done and good luck to you, mate! (y)(beer)

#2015-03-06 20:55:09 by Grace172 @Grace172

@paulfox1
I feel sorry for your romantic trip ended up like this. It sounds like Amy is a little bit insecurity. Or maybe she lacks of self-confident as you are so popular with the readers here. Or maybe because she did not know you too much. Love bases on trust, and trust bases on understanding. Even though you two had chatted on the computer long but this was the first time you met and lived in the real life. I do not thing only few weeks living together can be enough time for a couple to know each other well. And also we are often told that many foreign men would come to visit several women in their trip to China. So Amy might dislike this and over worry that you would do this.
Paul, I understand the feeling of being unreasonable suspected. I felt deeply hurt by this once before. But I think Amy's behaviour was forgivable as she did not know you too much at the first meet. But if she would do this often after you two being together for several months, that would be unacceptable.
For Amy I hope she will learn from this lesson. Over suspect only bring you unhappy. If he admited that he was dating with other woman, then you would be disappointed and unhappy, if not, your suspicious would hurt him and would ruin your relationship you would be unhapy as well. So to be a "slow" woman sometimes will be more happy. Try to know about him slowly and trust your own intuition.
About the hasty marry, I agree with you. I always believe that easy to fall in love but not easy to get along with.
I wish you two will be lucky to find your right soul mates in the new year.

#2015-03-07 08:41:10 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

@JohnAbbot
@ Paul Fox 1
I really have some comment,....posts,... coming.
All has happened so fast and I need time to reflect.
I will give you what I feel is good reading.
Ah,...is only from one fellows perspective.
You know already,
Peace,
Gongji

#2015-03-07 16:08:38 by Belle77 @Belle77

There are many couples meet and marry within very short time, and they live happily together, and there are many couples who date years and finally marry, and divorce soon, also there are couples who marry for twenty years and finally divorce, we have a saying in China, happy family are the same, unhappy family are with various stories.

The basic thing is to be honest to yourself and to others, don't hide anything from the beginning, or pretend to be someone that you are not, tell others what you really want and what kind of life you really enjoy and dream about, in order not to waste other people's time. Some men are truly looking for a family, some men are just don't know what they really want in life, maybe they just want to play hard, and nothing are wrong with that, they look for a playmate not a wife, not a family.

Some western men here don't trust Asian women deeply in their mind, or maybe they just trust no woman at all, although they are looking for Asian women, I was wondering what they are really looking for then? no trust no love, I was wondering if this kind of men still have the ability to love someone, to feel for someone. In this way, I appreciate those men who state honestly in their profile, that at this moment, they are just looking for friendship and to have some fun together.

Please don't get me wrong I don't judge on others, I happen to read this article and feel like to say something, don't really mean to anyone here.

#2015-03-08 12:54:56 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@Belle77. Thank you. Your words are true and sensible. Amy's "problem" was that her jealousy went too far. I would go as far as to say that she was 'insanely jealous' and there was no reason for her to behave this way.
I sincerely hope that she learns from her experiences with me and I genuinely wish her well in the future. As I said, she would make a good wife, just not for me!

#2015-03-08 12:59:33 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@johnabbot
Thanks for your words John and I want you to know that I totally agree with your sentiments regarding Gareth. His death knocked the stuffing out of many of us

You are right - onwards and upwards!

#2015-03-08 17:17:40 by melcyan @melcyan

@Belle77
Your profile has been deleted. I hope all is well with you and you are still checking on this blog. Your comment has so much in it. I hope to reply to it in the next few days.

#2015-03-08 17:23:26 by anonymous13083 @anonymous13083

Helli Pual :
Through the love and marriage expert research:
Two a woman loves a man, there is love and love the woman or the fastest go first.
Two a man loves a woman, no love and love of man or the fastest go first.
Amy and Paul story proves that Amy is really love paul. I hope you cherish her.
I recommend: now don't go to analyze why the problem, no matter who is wrong is not important, the most important is to think of a way to return to love and friendship, this accident, let the two of you love to the last new step.
Paul Amy is the deep love, if you love Amy, go to her that this was a misunderstanding to emphasize: Amy, my dear, I am........ (, do you know how to say. )
Would you like the image on any website again, want to find a woman like Amy is not possible. So, if you spend time looking for new, take time to hold the people in front of. Now have is the best.
For reference only
Best Blessing

#2015-03-09 03:06:25 by anonymous13084 @anonymous13084

@Belle77 - I really believe the majority of guys on CLM are looking for their perfect match, their "soul mate". I don't believe the player type guys are in the majority, but are few.

The reason western men don't "trust women deeply in their mind" is because of life experience with western women. It is not Asian women specifically they do not trust, but rather women in general because of bad past experience.

There are so many nice guys who get taken advantage of by women who have an agenda. All the guy wants is a perfect love, and the women takes him to the bank (meaning steals or uses up all of his money), or verbally abuses him the entire relationship. Or...worse.

I think you said it correctly when you said "happy family are the same, unhappy family are with various stories." I call this the Forrest-Jenny Phenomenon (referring to the Forrest Gump movie), which is where you have a nice, innocent, and clueless guy who marries a woman with a dark and sordid past. The two personalities are the worst possible match, because they cannot truly relate.

If there was a Forrest Gump sequel, you would see what would happen after the first movie's "happy ending". It would be horrific. Jenny would turn back to drugs, sleep around, and then some of Jenny's boyfriends would come over and beat the hell out of Forrest, leaving him bleeding in a ditch. All the while, he would cluelessly wonder what was going on. And all because they were never meant to be a match. Two very different worlds!

"happy family are the same, unhappy family are with various stories."

So I wrote all of this to say yes, men are very scared of marrying the wrong woman. It could end up a potential lifelong nightmare for them if they are not compatible.

I encourage all the men here to "do your homework" and research the woman first before taking the marital plunge. "You never know what you're gonna get..."

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