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John Abbot is co-owner of Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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China Love Match Messages Missing: Check Your Spam Box    

By John Abbot
1731 Views | 3 Comments | 5/11/2017 10:51:00 AM

Whitelist our address to save yourself and us a lot of grief.

As most of you already know, on China Love Match we pride ourselves on providing good service. However, recently we've had a few issues with members not receiving our emails even though they have verified their addresses with us, which means their own email providers should be accepting our messages into their Inboxes. But it seems that a number of email providers have now started taking it upon themselves to block messages even though the recipient has clearly indicated they wish to receive them.

This doesn't apply only to our messages but to a broad range of message senders who are deemed unnecessary by email service providers for reasons unknown. We understand it applies not just to Chinese dating sites or Asian dating sites, but to online dating sites generally, and beyond that, to internet marketing sites and many others.

Yahoo has long been guilty of this approach, and it now seems that Outlook is also taking this approach. In addition, we have recently read that many of the more local email providers, such as Cox, Comcast and others like them in the US, are also presuming to know better than their customer what messages they should receive.

This can especially be an issue if you have sent a message to us through our Contact Page because then we are not responding to an email sent from you to us through your email provider. So if you haven't receive an expected response from us to a Contact message, please check your spam box. If nothing is there, then please send it again in a message from your email address to us at

One such situation currently exists where we did respond directly to a member's Contact Page message immediately upon receiving it, but now, one week later, we've received another Contact Page message saying "Evidently, no one is working in customer service."

But someone was working in customer service, and just in case the member reads this blog, here is what we wrote back to him on the same day his first message was received:

Hi "member"

In response to your message, it is not so much that you did or are doing something wrong, as that you are not doing some of the things that can get you attention from the ladies.  Here are some of those things:

1. Be a new member. Of course, new members get more attention because they are new, haven't been seen before, and stand out of the crowd. People tend to search or browse by 3 categories, and two of them are "Newest Members" and "Last Online". Obviously new members are going to be found under "Newest Members", but they also stand out on "Last Online" because they have just joined and come back frequently to do searches and to add to their photos and profile, so they are frequently among the last online.

The Eagles didn't write that amazing song "New Kid In Town" for nothing, it has meaning.

2. Be a Gold Member. The other category most searched or browsed in is "VIP Members" which equals Gold Members. In addition, of course, ladies who are standard members are far more likely to choose to contact guys who are Gold Members because those guys can read their messages.

3. Be very active. If you are very proactive and send out a lot of messages, the many women who receive your messages are going to click on your profile to see who you are. If your profile is getting many clicks, you are going to show up on the Hottest Pages. Please see the attached screenshot for clarification on what the "Hottest Pages" are.

4. Pay for "Introduce Yourself" ads. You can buy a 10 day or 30 days run of Introduce Yourself ads which will get you a lot of attention. However, we don't recommend doing this unless you are already Gold because the added expense is largely wasted since you can't communicate with the ladies who are clicking on your profile and then contacting you.  Please see the attached screenshots 2 thru 5 for information on the Introduce Yourself ads.

You can't be a new member easily, and even if you cancel this membership and join as a new member, many people will recognize your photos, so if you do start over you will not get the full benefit of being new members.  But if you want to make the effort, you will likely get more contacts than you currently are.

Otherwise though, we recommend that you start being more proactive and sending lots of messages to women you are attracted to, which will garner you visits to your profile and many return messages.  The return messages are reward for your initiating contact, and the visits to your profile will help you get on the Hottest Pages which will also get you more attention.

Of course being Gold is a huge advantage to attracting contacts, and adding Introduce Yourself ads doubles down on bringing yourself to the ladies attention.

All of the above applies equally to both CLM and ALM.

We hope this addresses your concerns but if not please do reply to this message and provide more details. We'll be happy to answer anymore questions you may have.

Best regards,

​Of course, if he didn't receive it before, then it's unlikely he'll receive this message either. So we've also posted it in his CLM Inbox, and hopefully he'll either see it here or open it there.

However, we repeat, if you're not hearing from us and you're expecting to, please check your spam box. If nothing is there please write again but directly from your own email address to

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2017-05-11 10:56:34 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I want to apologize to a number of bloggers for sneaking this blog in front of a number of great blogs that have already been posted and are awaiting being published. We really are hoping the member who is sitting there, upset that we don't seem to be responsive to his queries, might see this blog and understand that we have been responsive and are not ignoring him.

I will get the other blogs up and available asap.  Normally we like to leave a day between posting blogs in the queue but we may not do that now, given that we've had a blogging dry spell recently.

Thanks to all bloggers for their patience.

#2017-05-11 15:00:27 by Barry1 @Barry1



John, your message is informative yet I'm surprised that people don't routinely go through their junk or spam folders on a daily basis anyway, for the very reasons you've nominated.  That is, many bona fide or non-rubbish messages become relegated there in error.   So anyone who is lazy or ignorant enough not to regularly check their junk folders shouldn't complain to others for their own shortcomings. :^)

#2017-05-11 21:48:26 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

I've used it for 15 years! Free and easy to open an account - then use it for CLM e-mails without worry. Google, G-mail, Outlook, etc, all have their own 'hidden agenda'

Another good one is '' but that will cost you about $6 a year.....

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