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A writer for CLM Magazine and CLM Social Pages, Achelle is also an independent blogger, giving her two cents on personal and social issues from an educated Filipina's point of view, especially those relating to love and relationships. She has a knack for tackling issues from unique angles that are often left unexplored, posing questions that move and challenge readers to view a certain issue from a wholly different perspective. Achelle is happily engaged to her childhood sweetheart and is currently based in the Philippines. Achelle's writing is a delight to read and highly enlightening, entertaining and thought provoking. You're going to see lots of her on our Emagazine, Blogs, Social Pages and Hubs. Enjoy
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CHILDHOOD RUIN    

By Achelle Vinzon
3637 Views | 1 Comments | 5/15/2014 1:25:58 PM

Somethings in an Asian girl's past are too terrible to remember but can't be forgotten.

Sometimes, when she watches Aurora sleep and she is overcome by her daughter’s innocence and unconditional love, she thinks about all her shortcomings, all her missteps, all the things she could’ve done differently.  She thinks about Aurora’s remarkable resilience and she is overwhelmed with both sadness, for all the hardships that her daughter had to experience at such a young age, and joy, for having such a precious gift as Aurora.  



There is no doubt in her heart that, as long as her heart is in the right place, as long as she is a mother first and always, things will work out in the end.  She watches her daughter sleep and draws strength from her immeasurable love and unshakeable trust. 



As she gets ready to take up once more her illusory pen, she asks herself for the nth time why she’s telling this story.  Don’t they say that the past should remain in the past?  What is she hoping to take away from re-opening those closed doors?  What is the purpose of reviving those memories?  The answers continue to elude her. 



Dawn chose to attend college far away from home. 



Her papa still worked abroad; her mama continued to be a working mom.  Dawn knew her brother and sister would be fine; all three of them, after all, developed self-reliance at a very early age. 



Before the start of the second semester of her first year in college – a couple of years before her papa lost his job – he was home for his vacation and went with her on the eight-hour long bus ride back to school.  She was falling asleep and so he put his arm around her.  She was startled awake by the familiar embrace.  She felt uncomfortable, leaned away, and stayed up the rest of the trip.       



They arrived safely; he dropped her off at her dormitory, staying for an hour to rest a bit before making the long trip back home.  He was leaving for work again in a few days.  Dawn’s roommates weren’t arriving until the next day, so she had the room all to herself.  She had nothing but her thoughts to keep her company. 



And the repressed memories came flooding back. 



She remembered how he took advantage of her after her mama left.  She remembered how she put a stop to it before it went too far… but she remembered that it went far enough.  She laughed out loud at those words – far enough.  Any degree of child molestation is going too far. 



She cried herself to sleep, wishing she never remembered.  


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2014-05-15 16:19:58 by Barry1 @Barry1

@achellevinzons

Well, it's good to see that Dawn's still alive, Achelle - after the possible out that I suggested in my storyline comment to your last article. I'm glad you (or she) didn't take it up. :)

You've asked three questions in this current article, Achelle. As rhetorical as they are, perhaps I could answer them for you?

1. "Don’t they say that the past should remain in the past? "

No, not necessarily. Because if we don't recall lessons learnt from the past, perhaps we'll become doomed to repeat them in the future.

2. "What is she hoping to take away from re-opening those closed doors?"

She's not necessarily hoping to take away anything at all, Achelle. Perhaps she simply can't help herself; maybe her thoughts are still too poignant to yet become erased?

3. "What is the purpose of reviving those memories?"

Apart from the points made above, a valid reason also for remembering painful issues from the past is hopefully to help facilitate a cathartic release or healing from the hurt associated with these. Something like allowing magma from a volcano to slowly disgorge its contents in a controlled fashion, rather than allowing it to build up and then suddenly explode.

Thus the release of repressed memories often is a beneficial thing. In Dawn's case, I hope this proves to be true.

In the context of your tale though Achelle, it's disppointing that Dawn was sexually molested. This happens all too frequently within our communities. Regrettably and somewhat counterintuitively, it's often done by those we trust most, whether a father, brother, cousin or even a priest. Difficult to accept, yet true.

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