Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Gareth is an Australian who has lived in JiangSu, SuZhou (Heaven on Earth) for a few years - he is a keen observer of the Chinese people, Chinese culture and the changes that are occurring in China at break-neck speed. He can often be found on his a nightly 'perch' in front of his bar in the famous Bar Street in Suzhou, talking to the locals in his bad Mandarin, teaching the 'flower-selling girls' English, eating street food and smiling at the local chengguan (neighbourhood police). Gareth also has several other businesses in China around Business and English training. His experiences have been varied and interesting and his years in China have taught him to be wary of promises but excited about prospects, not a bad situation to be in!
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Battle Royale - Dinosaurs vs Chickens    

By Garreth Humphris
2298 Views | 2 Comments | 11/28/2011 4:27:19 PM

The Spring Festival coupling time is on the horizon in China, the time when young people look for the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' so they can return to their hometown with photographs of their prospective mate in a few months time.

My Chinese friends tell me of excruciating Spring Festival conversations with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors and their hairdresser if they return home another year empty-handed. Parents parade their recently married children around with puffed chests and high noses... coo-cooing the new babies and talking about “other people's unsuccessful children” in not-so-hushed tones behind open hands. A litany of tsk-tsking and cluck-clucking, especially if the child is close to “marrying age” or heavens-forbid, past marrying age!

What signifies this time, is it a change in the weather, the advent of 'singles’ day (11/11), a browning of the leaves or denuding of the grass - no, it’s the ubiquitous couples' fairs that spring up in every park! In Shanghai recently a 10,000 person meetup was arranged, and even some large companies are arranging ’parties’ for singles in their ranks to meet.

The Chinese version of Speed Dating has little of the haute couture of New York style speed dating - we’re not swapping witty anecdotes about book launches and art shows here folks, no the information is purely practical... weight, height, salary and potential... coupled with a cheesy photo akin to an old school portrait.

The Chinese commonly suggest it is like an “old boiler chickens vs dinosaur” event, not too appreciative, but in the rough and tumble world of finding a 'suitable’ mate in China (where boys outnumber girls by a few hundred million), this is a legitimate way of getting an introduction.

For a bit of sport last weekend, I “browsed” a few participants in my local park - chatting quickly to some young ladies about what they were hoping for - overwhelmingly, it was a “good man” with a “good heart”!

None would consider a “naked wedding”, meeting a husband without a car, or a house! BTW none were really interested in a fat foreigner who’s Chinese was very bad! Their parents pensively watched their 'A-type left over girls' from a distance... pacing frantically at the sight of an amorous foreigner speaking to their offspring.

In Chinese dating mythology, there are four categories of people - unimaginitively labeled A, B, C and D.
Like any ’beancounter’-style metrics system - it’s based on totally irrelevant features so people are rated on looks, income potential and connection potential. Not all features, just the predominant one.

An A man is attractive, rich and successful but probably arrogant and self obsessed - an A woman is considered high maintenance, aggressively successful and hard to handle traditionally. She probably has a career and high earning potential, dresses well etc

A B man is easy on the eye, has a stable job and stable character - malleable and ductile - but still independant. A B woman is also attractive - probably 'cute' and is a little subservient - in a traditional way - she’ll be a good accompaniment to her husband and knows her way around the shopping precinct!

C man is usually rugged - not exactly handsome but not unappealing - maybe with slightly bad habits, or is a little lazy or ’happy with their lot in life’. He is probably likely to work around the home and providing for the family in non-monetary ways as well.

A C woman will be ’normal Chinese’ - traditional and she’ll be supportive, keep a good house and a good family.

A D man is one only a mother could eternal struggler, he is unlikely to succeed. He will probably not have family support to assist in buying a home.

A D woman is considered plain - is a good cook or homemaker and is eternally patient and diligent. She will tolerate great hardship for the good of her family.

So the equation is usually this;
An A man seeks a B woman
A B man prefers a C woman
A C man will marry a D woman
And the only ones’left are D men and A women hence the old chickens and dinosaur tag! Their ability to succeed in this coupling s also quite low - he has low aspirations and she has high demands - so what to do?

Maybe she can look for an F man... F for Foreigner, of course! :-)

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#2011-11-29 05:55:50 by bmccull @bmccull

Great article! Those couples fairs in the park are something to see. Highly recommended whether you are interested in that style of meetup or not.

#2011-11-30 09:52:35 by xactly @xactly

Excellent article and excellent categorization and reasoning which match the reality pretty closely. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

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