Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Autumn in Guilin 桂林 * 秋日 Part 4 - A Chinese man at his best of wooing 情敌    

By Imi
2144 Views | 3 Comments | 4/23/2016 1:46:43 PM

Within just twelve hours of waking up from my nightmare, we had arrived at the entrance of the cave in Guilin just as the other visitors lined up and sank into its dark, shadowy mouth. We, too, with the other woman—who brought the tickets for us and whose name I didn't even know—queued in to be swallowed up and then expelled through another opening of the cave less than an hour later.

During that short time, we had meandered the cave's belly like a stomach worm wiggles one's gut, my brain hadn't been able to digest a single word of our tour guide’s Chinese explanations about the cave. Aside from the cave walls, shining in multicolored lighting that had made me wow here and there, I hadn't learned anything about the cave itself. My understanding about Reed Flute Cave in Guilin had strictly remained on what I had read in Wikipedia.

At the exit, we said goodbye to the other woman and descended to the bottom of the hill where we got into a taxi and headed back to our hotel.

“Are you tired,” Janessa asked, looking at my face as we sat in the back.

“Yes, a little bit,” I replied and pulled her closer so she could rest her head on my shoulder, and I could rest mine on hers. When I was about to give a kiss on the top of her head,—just to make my headrest comfier—I saw the driver's eyes, in the rearview mirror, focusing on us.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot I'm in China, I thought as my pursing lips lingered over Janessa's head for a second before I kissed her hair on the top of her head. When my lips faded back into a thin line of disapproval, and the driver started to keep his eyes on the road steadily, my mind had already begun to recall a conversation that I'd had with Janessa a couple of months earlier.

“I quit my job,” Janessa had said one day.

“What happened?” I had asked her.

“My boss was too crazy. He kept calling me into his office and talking about stupid things,” she had said with a slight uneasiness in her voice.

Janessa had started to work for a new company in May, just right after I had returned to Canada after visiting her for the first time. She'd liked the new job at first because it was close to her home and it gave her the chance to spend more time with her son, Jake. After spending a few weeks at the new company, though, she had started to complain about her boss. She told me that her boss was crazy. When I asked her what she actually meant by “crazy,” she couldn't explain it to me, or it rather sounded like she didn't really want to clear my fogginess about the topic and decided to keep me in the dark. After three months of working there, she told me that she had quit.

“Would you like to tell me what happened exactly?” I asked her.

“Okay, but please don't get mad.”

“Okay. I won't,” I promised.

She started from the beginning and, slowly, like a cat circles a hot plate of mush in the kitchen, eased towards the main reason for her departure from the company.

“My boss was very nice at first. He told me if I wanted to work there for twenty years I could because he was very satisfied with my work. After a few weeks of working for him, he had begun to stop at my office frequently during the days and talk about his personal things such as how rich he was, how many cars he had, and how big his house was. Then one day, he asked me to accompany him to a business dinner, which I did. We were running late, but when we got to the restaurant, there was no one there. When I asked him about his business partners' whereabouts, he said they had to cancel the meeting earlier on that day, but he saw how nicely I was dressed and didn't want to disappoint me by telling me the dinner was canceled.”

At this point, I thought I knew where all this had headed—the guy wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend or invite her to a hotel. I was wrong.

“Then, in the middle of the dinner,” Janessa continued, “all of a sudden, he asked me to be his wife.”


“Yes, I had the same reaction: 'What?' And he also said he would make me a rich woman.”

“Did you tell him you've had a boyfriend?”

“Yes, and he had backed off for a while, but not for long. In the last two weeks, he had asked me into his office on a few occasions during the days and started to tell me his crazy things again. First, he asked me about you. He wanted to know who you were. When he found out that you were a white man and lived in Canada, he got this presuming and cocky grin on his face and told me how sinful white men were, and that you had just come to China to play me. He asked me again to be his wife and that he would buy me a car, feed my son, and I don't even have to work.”

“Did he say feed your son? Does he think Jake is a dog? How about raising, teaching, listening to him about his problems, to be a father, and at the same time, a role model, a friend to him? He could have chosen plenty of better terms to describe his intention toward your son. He chose feed?” I asked without being able to control myself any longer. My blood began bubbling insuperable hate for a man that I'd never even seen in my life. He represented everything that I hated in a man. In my head, he had become a vile, egotistical, and arrogant bastard from one second to the other.

“On the last day,” Janessa went on, “he moved my table closer to the door in my office so he could watch me from his office all day long. When I tried to move my table back to its original place, he told my workmates not to help me. 'Let her do it herself,' he said to them. That was my last day. I never want to see him again. I hate him!”

Seeing Janessa cry had hushed my fury, and I had begun to calm down. She had grown a great deal in my eyes as a woman. By the time she had stopped crying, I was calm, too, and I had made her laugh with my sarcasm, which, surprisingly, she got quite well most of the time, to my great satisfaction.

Suddenly, I heard the taxi driver ask something from Janessa. Janessa answered, and I resurfaced beside her in the realm of presence after my memories had reshelved themselves in my head. We had arrived at our hotel. We paid the driver and got out of the taxi. Janessa started out for the front door, but I grabbed her hand and spun her around to face me.

People were avoiding us from left to right as we stood close to each other in the crowd. She looked up at me. Her eyes were frightened like a timid duckling's that had been poked into a pond by its mother's beak for the first time.

I, however, ignored Janessa's frightened eyes. I ignored the taxi driver, too, who had just pulled away from the curb and was probably still trying to get a glimpse of us in the rearview mirror. I was in China, but, for a few seconds, I'd just disregarded its pristine traditions and kissed Janessa, right there on the street. Her lips were biddable and playful, just like the duckling's small webbed feet would have been after discovering how much fun it was paddling in the pond with them.

“What was that for?” Janessa asked, and her eyes yet again started to look for the front entry of the hotel as a refuge from the glittering glances of the human stream.

“I don't know. I just remembered something that you had told me once. I felt that I had to kiss you because you are an incredible Chinese woman,” I said, and since she had already learned to swim in the pond, I added, “Let's go upstairs, and I'll make you fly.”

She blushed, but, at the same time, she began to giggle like a little girl and said, “You're crazy.”

We went into the hotel lobby, and while we waited for the elevator, I thought Janessa was right. I was crazier than her ex-boss had ever been. I was crazier about her than I had been about anyone for a long time, and I was prepared to show her how much.





“累吗?” 简妮莎看着我的脸问我。

“有点,” 我伸手搂住她的肩膀,把她的头靠在我的肩膀上,然后我把头歪在她的头上。我正要吻她一下,这时从后视镜里看到司机正从镜子里看我们。

哈,我倒忘了,我现在可是在中国, 我这么想的时候也犹豫着要不要吻下去,最后只敢轻轻在她的头发上点了一下。我撇了一下嘴,司机这时把目光转开,专心开车。我这时想起几个月前跟简妮莎的一次对话。

“我辞职了,” 那天她突然对我说。

“为什么,发生了什么事吗?” 我问



“你还是不想告诉我到底发生了什么事吗?” 我问道。






“后来,” 简妮莎继续说道, “饭吃到一半,他突然要我嫁给他。”


“对,这也是我的反应:‘什么’? 还告诉我,如果我嫁给他那我就是富婆了”。



“他说他会你儿子? 他认为杰克是一只小狗吗?他难道不知道孩子要成长,需要教育吗?他不知道他要倾听孩子的问题并跟他一起解决,他不但要做孩子的父亲,还要做他的朋友,做他的榜样吗?他可以用更好的方式来表达自己,但他却用这个字?” 血朝我的头上涌,我的情绪完全失控了,对这个从未谋面的男人我充满了愤怒和鄙视,我鄙视像他一样的男人用这种下作的方式来取悦一个女人,在我的定义里,他就是个卑鄙,自大,粗俗的混蛋。

“最后一天,” 简妮莎继续说,“他把我的桌子挪到门口,这样他在他的办公室可以随时看到我。我要把桌子挪回去,他就告诉办公室所有人,谁都不许帮我:‘让她自个搬!’ 所以,我辞职了,我再不想看到他,我恨他!”





“嘿,你在搞什么?” 她又开始朝宾馆大门走去,大概是想避开来往行人的目光。




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(Showing 1 to 3 of 3) 1
#2016-04-23 13:57:52 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Imi, it occurs to me that most men, myself included, would have wondered if Janessa had "whitewashed" the relationship with her boss a little and left out some of the details that might have caused you some grief.

When I say I would have wondered if she had hidden some of their mutual goings on, I will tell you that I am not prone to jealousy, and if she had hidden some intimate details, I would accept that as a kindness on her part and I wouldn't hound her on it. Nor would I try to pry more information out of her on the subject.

But I am curious as to what you were thinking, and if you are 100% confident in Janessa's version of events being complete and true. If by chance it isn't complete and true does that matter to you?

#2016-04-24 20:56:34 by melcyan @melcyan


My guess is that Janessa's comments are true but incomplete. I suspect that the level of harassment may have been even worse than what Janessa described. I have heard similar accounts of sexual harassment in the workplace of Chinese women by male Chinese bosses.

There are probably many women on CLM that have also experienced sexual harassment at work. Perhaps some of them could comment anonymously.

#2016-04-27 10:46:30 by sharonshi @sharonshi

I believe in Janessa's utterance!

According to Imi's Autumn in Guilin series, J is a gentle but strong lady.

She is not a timid lamb who is feeble to resist harassment, especially at the edge of threshold.

Wish you guys well!

Thanks for sharing! "You are crazy!" culminates the nice piece of reading!

(Showing 1 to 3 of 3) 1
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