Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Autumn in Guilin 桂林 * 秋日 Part 1 - A Sleepy Man 一个疲倦的男人    

By Imi
2344 Views | 7 Comments | 3/13/2016 2:47:08 PM

Writing is something that I came to love. It gives me a route to escape, forget, and heal, all at the same time. I had come up with the story Autumn in Guilin during last year's Mid-Autumn Festival. Janessa (my current girlfriend) always wanted to travel to Guilin, so we went, and this is a story about that.

It was 1:40 in the afternoon. The woman with our tickets was running late. She was supposed to meet us in the parking lot at 1:30 as the cave tour that we signed up for started at 2:00 p.m.

If the woman is not here in 10 minutes, we'll be late, I thought as I sat next to Janessa on a park bench.

Not far from us, a man, unmindful of the world around him, was asleep on another bench in the shade of a large tree. For a few times, I had this feeling that the sound of his snores, in some magical way, had an invisible connection with my eyelids just like when a child plays with the switch of a garage door, rolling the door up and down.

Zezz-ZZzz-ZZz. . . My eyelids started going down.

GGggh-Ppbhww. . . My eyelids shot back up again.

If I had been as unconcerned with the onlookers as that man was, probably, I would have done the same thing—lying on the bench and aiding my lassitude with a quick nap. As a white man in China, however, I had drawn more than enough stares from people with my—as they openly say and admire—“high” nose.

It was when Janessa asked me if she should give to the woman another call, and I answered with a curt and somewhat cranky “yeah,” that her phone rang. Shortly after, a woman approached us and started speaking to Janessa. Although I didn't understand a word that they exchanged, their smiles assured me that it was the woman with our tickets to the cave.

While they talked, my eyes wandered back to the sleeping man, who suddenly stirred as a huge butterfly—almost the size of my palm started checking out the man's noisemaker closely. Apparently sensing that something was invading his privacy, the man opened his eyes sleepily and must have seen nothing else but that disturbingly huge butterfly blocking the entire sky out of his view and intimately trying to be acquainted with his mouth. His hand, still sluggish and clumsy after his nap, missed the butterfly by inches. Although the swing was wide off the mark, it had enough momentum to send him off the bench with a thud. He looked around, not in embarrassment but to get familiar with his surroundings after having dropped literally out of dreamland. As his bleary eyes met mine, I gave him a welcome back, you're-still-on-earth kind of little nod, which he didn't really give a damn about. Disappointed, he clambered back up on the bench and drifted off again, completely careless about me or my nod or, in fact, the entire world.

“Let's go.” I heard Janessa's voice, gently blanketing my world-shattering thoughts with her words and ending the temptation to team up with the man and fight off giant butterflies in dreamland.

What's wrong with me? I asked myself inwardly as I stood up to follow the two women. It's close to 11 p.m. back in Canada. I'm supposed to be in bed, sleeping like the clumsy butterfly-slayer over there on the bench, I thought. As we got to the bottom of the stairs that were supposed to lead us to the cave entrance, I turned back and gave one more envious look at the sleeping man on the bench.

Jet lag? Still? Four days after my arrival? I wondered.

I was moody, grumpy and impatient, which were the last things I needed to be. Janessa was very kind and very patient to me. She carefully planned everything for us to have a good time in Guilin. In return, I gave her nothing but a pair of sleepy eyes and a quiet, and sometimes, grumpy attitude.

Maybe it was her English skills, which hadn't come on since the last time I had visited her, that made me more morose than serene?

Her English seemed to be even worse than it had been in May. I needed to repeat simple words many times, which, of course, made her feel embarrassed and nervous. She repeatedly said, “How stupid I am for not understanding simple words like 'eat' or 'see' without your spelling them out for me.”

She could read and write quite well, but her speaking and listening skills were deficient. I thought the problem was that her job didn't require to use any English. Her English skills were the remnants of her school years some twenty years earlier. If I had only considered that, her English would have seemed impressive. My weariness, however, like a strict teacher, didn't give any credit to her rather broken English.

I wondered. The problem might have been me. I may have been just too tired to have everything explained several times before I got the message through.

We started up on the stairs. My legs, after a few steps, felt like lead rather than flesh and bone.

I hate jet lag!

Every time I traveled to China, after my arrival for a few days, the time difference made me feel like I was 76 instead of 46.

Since landing in China, I just wanted to sleep all day long. When the time, however, had come to pull the lids on my eyes, I couldn't sleep. It was just like the previous night when I had woken up at 2:00 a.m. due to a maddening noise after having slept for only two hours. Janessa had been asleep beside me, and I had wondered why she didn't hear the helicopter in the room. I'd heard it clearly and loudly. It was that noise that had woken me up in the middle of the night.

“It was the helicopter,” I muttered. “It was the helicopter in the room.”

“Did you say something?” Janessa asked me after she had stopped on the steps and momentarily ceased her chit-chat with the other woman.

“No. I was just. . . Nothing, never mind,” I said and gave her a smile. She, too, smiled back at me, turned around, and resumed leading the way up with the other woman.

I felt bad at the back. Janessa was so happy to see me, and I was. . . I was like a numb zombie trudging after them on the stairs. Thinking of zombies brought my thoughts back to my disturbingly chilling dream. During that short two hours of sleep last night, I had dreamt of being a paramedic. But last night, I hadn't been just an ordinary paramedic. In my dream, I had been a special kind of paramedic. I was an—























“就是直升机,” 我嘟囔道,“房间里分明听到直升机的声音啊。”

你刚说什么?” 简妮莎正边走边跟那个女人讲话,突然在台阶上停下来问我。

“我说… 哦,没什么”。我朝她笑笑回答道。她也笑笑,没再问,然后继续跟那个女人走在前面领路。


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#2016-03-13 15:28:41 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Imi, I am surprised a little that you suffered that much from jetlag on the trip TO China from Canada. My experience, backed up by a lot of other Canadians and Americans over the years, was that the trip from China to North America was the leg where real jetlag kicked in. I would feel it for a couple of days when I hit China but for well over a week after arriving back in Canada.

As for Guilin and area I spent a great short vacation there with my wife in our early years and loved it. There are places in China I would recommend more, but not many. There is an amazing video of Guilin that I have a link to on my computer which I will look for when I have access to it tomorrow. I'll come back and post it here when I find it.

Meanwhile I trust that the jetlag will dissipate in time for you to both enjoy Guilin and to recover your relationship with Janessa that so far in this episode you seem to be doing your best to kill, jetlag or not. (doh)

#2016-03-13 19:37:46 by anonymous14624 @anonymous14624

Imi, your response to your partner's difficulty with English seems very much out of character for you. You, of all people, would know that you have to support your partner's every faltering step with a second language even if you are jet-lagged.

#2016-03-13 22:25:40 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

Thank you for your comments, John.

Experts say the amount of days that you need to recover from jetlag are equal to the hours that are there between the two countries. I also read somewhere that traveling to The East is not that hard on your body when it comes to jetlag. I don't have the time to double check this information just because by the time you read this, John, I'll be about to board a plane -- guess where to? Yes -- to China. It will be my seventh trip to this land that interests me greatly, not just because my girlfriend lives there, but because the people there remind me of the people of my original country. But you'll have the opportunity to read about my feelings for China in the coming parts of this series. Not in the next two parts, though. I don't think you or the others will like the next two parts. Anyway, if I said something stupid about this "traveling to The East" thing, please forgive my ignorance.

In any case, my personal experience with jetlag is opposite to you and the Canadians and Americans that you've mentioned in your comment. When I go to China, I basically lose a day. When I'm on my way back to Vancouver, time stops.

I remember the first time I was in China 4 years ago, I board the plane at 10 am on Wednesday in Shenzhen and arrived in Vancouver at 10 am on Wednesday in Canada. Time stopped for me. It was like I had had a 16-hour long blink (16 hours the difference between Vancouver and China in the winter. But you know this, John, better than me). And also, let me just add to that, dealing with jetlag in my own bed, picking up my daily routines, and eating the food that I've gotten used to always speed up the recovering time for me.

When I'm in China, I usually eat what Janessa eats, I don't have a daily routine to follow, and the hotel beds can't give me the same feeling comfort wise -- even if there is a beautiful woman lies beside me -- that my own bed can with its familiar pit in the middle of it that I had made with my body over the years by wallowing like a happy buffalo in its favorite sump.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everybody has a different experience with jetlag. The severity of jetlag can depend on lots of things: your mood, how tired you were when you started the journey, the food that you had eaten before and during the trip, and also if you were able to catch a bit of sleep on the airplane or not.

Thanks for your comments! I'll post part - 2 when I am back from China.

#2016-03-13 22:33:40 by anonymous14628 @anonymous14628

Imi, I concur with John, I am a Canadian as well and I always feel semi normal after second day in China, it is the return trip from China to Canada that kicks my ass, it takes between 4-6 days to feel normal and sleep patterns to adjust. I do however get disorientated at night the first night in China lol not sure if I am home or in China when waking to use the loo...

Liking this article so far...

#2016-03-14 16:12:32 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Hi Imi

You wrote: "Anyway, if I said something stupid about this "traveling to The East" thing, please forgive my ignorance."

you didn't say anything stupid at all. You were describing your jetlag in China and I was surprised you suffered it so badly going in that direction, but I wasn't for a moment questioning that you do. And you are not the first person to do so, but in 12 years living in China, and especially as a bar owner for the first couple of years and a dating site owner for the last 8 years, I have encountered a lot of westerners who travel to China.

My experience is that by far the most of us experience excessive jetlag going home to Canada or the US and much less jetlag when we arrive in China. You are simply one of few exceptions to the rule in my experience. But I have no doubt at all in the veracity of what you are describing.

Whatever you write about Imi, you can be confident that I will not consider it to be stupid.

Cheers, John

#2016-03-15 00:29:28 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

John, I haven't thought for a second that you questioned anything at all with your comments. I was just surprised as well to learn that people from the USA and Canada going to China can recover sooner from jetlag than the other way around. After my first long-distance flight, I read some article about jetlag, and I'm confident that said if we traveled to westerly direction, we would feel less jet-lagged. After reading your comment, I actually questioned myself if I remembered the article accurately. In any case, I, as you said, might be one of those few exceptions who have a different response to jetlag. I know for sure that I'm a light sleeper and sometimes I have problems with new sleeping arrangements, which can significantly lengthen my jetlag.


You're right. I should know it better how hard it is for a beginner speak a new language. Most of the time I'm patient, and actually, Janessa tells me how patient I'm with her when we study together. But I'm also far away from perfect. I make mistakes like everybody does, and I make them daily. But I try to fix them as soon as I can, especially when I'm in a relationship.


Thank you for your comments. I, too, get sometimes disoriented when I'm in China. On this particular trip last fall, I got disoriented on the third night. There was a reason for it, and you'll be able to read about it in the next two parts. I barely slept 9 hours in 72 hours, and I was totally confused about where I was. I actually wrote the next one and a half part in China right after waking up disoriented. It's a very detailed part of my story and some might get bored by reading it, but I enjoyed writing it very much and had a lot of fun with it.

#2016-03-15 23:11:31 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

You might 'feel-like-shit' for a day or so, but the following WORKS......

No matter what time of day or night it is, go to bed at your 'normal' time and get up at your 'normal time', regardless of whether it means 2 hours sleep or ten (take a sleeping pill if you have to)

You should recover within 24 hours (48 hours max)

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