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Richard James Blogs on Cross Cultural & Long Distance Relationships, Chinese Women & Chinese Culture. Richard is new to blogging, new to cross cultural and long distance relationships, new to Chinese culture and a newlywed to a Chinese woman. His blog is about learning and growth for Richard, and offers a unique opportunity for you to learn and grow too.
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American Woman, Stay Away From me    

By Richard James'
3803 Views | 7 Comments | 5/14/2010 1:10:38 PM
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Wonder Woman on MS magazine,Photo courtesy of www.pbs.org

They say a good woman is hard to find and this is doubly true of American women. This article will be about these women and why I think it is prudent you stay away from them, unless of course you don`t value your bank account and everything you`ve worked hard for. Believe me I have firsthand experience with this.

First off I don`t want to give the expression I hate women because I don`t. I actually get along better with women than I do men. Secondly I am not saying all American women are not marriage worthy. I am sure there are a few, somewhere. Maybe if I had a time machine I could go back and meet a couple of them.

So let’s begin at the beginning.

Once upon a time there was a fair maiden pining for the day her prince would come and make everything all right. The prince did come and for a while did make everything all right but soon the fair maiden grew tired of the prince because he wasn`t exactly as she imagined. You see American women from the time they are little girls grow up with this fantasy that one day a man will come along and sweep her off her feet and be everything she was led to believe. Unfortunately for the man in this situation before it has even begun he is doomed.

Why you ask? Because no man can live up to the fantasy in a little girl’s mind of what the perfect man is supposed to be.

American women love to complain about their husbands, boyfriends, partners to anyone who will listen to them. Girlfriends, coworkers, bosses and worst of all other men. And gentlemen, if you are a player there is no easier picking than an unhappy woman. And I certainly don’t encourage that kind of thinking, but what does this say about the women in these situations.

This isn`t Monopoly and there is no get out of jail free card. It takes two to tango and three to rumba and therein lays the problem. A lot of women in these relationships are seeking attention outside of the union which, in and of itself, is a path to disaster because the truth is these women really don`t know what they want.

Now Chinese women on the other hand remind me of what women used to be in this country. Graceful, sweet and dedicated to home and family and they know what they want; a decent, honorable man who is hard working and loyal to them and the family. And these women want to marry such a man. Since I have been on this website. I am still amazed by all the nice women I have chatted with and or messaged. When you tell a Chinese woman you are chatting with that you have met someone special on the site they wish you much luck and many blessings and a happy union. If this were an American dating website you`d be called creep or worse an __________ (insert expletive here).

So I think the choice is clear. Do you want a partner to share your life with who will appreciate all that you do for her and your family like a Chinese woman or do you want a partner who will never be happy and who will be constantly sizing you up, without your even knowing you are being sized up, to that image of Prince Charming in her mind. My Chinese girlfriend told me one time in a conversation that she felt that American women were too strong compared to Chinese woman. With a smile on my face I agreed with her 100% and let me add that my girlfriend is extremely smart, extremely funny and especially sweet. In upcoming articles I will be detailing the happiness this woman brings to my life and also the hurdles you will have to overcome to have a long distance relationship.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 7 of 7) 1
#2010-04-17 06:47:01 by dannyn @dannyn

How many women do you have to meet before you find one of these nice ones? I have sent some kisses where I got a response back that they were interested and then turn around and message them to introduce myself and say a little bit about myself or ask them something about themselves. I'm lucky if I get one short response back and in some cases, no response. Makes me wonder about this site if it really is for real or just a way to make money.

#2010-04-17 14:11:13 by nationoflove @nationoflove

THIS IS A GREAT ARTICLE MY BROTHER AND I PRAY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE VERY FRUITFUL. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME FINDING ME (AN AFRICAN AMERICAN) A LOYAL CHINESE WIFE ON THIS SITE. I FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO ON THE AMERICAN FEMALES. THEY HAVEN'T EARNED THE RESPECT TO BE CALLED LADIES. I PRAY THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH OPEN-MINDED CHINESE WOMEN THAT ARE NOT PREJUDICED TOWARDS MY RACE BECAUSE I LIKE YOU IS A GREAT MAN AND PERSON.

#2010-04-17 21:46:50 by clmservice @clmservice

Dannyn, the biggest mistake men make is to forget that CLM is site for Chinese women and western men interested in each other for LTR or marriage. The Chinese women are on here looking for lifemates, not penpals. They want to hear that you're attracted to them as a lifemate and in China as part of your future. You don't have to commit, but show them you're in the game. Otherwise, you're on the wrong website. If a lady responds she's opened the door and our job is done. If you're not going through the door that's your fault, not CLMs. Be real, be confident, be a catch, you'll get responses.

#2010-04-20 09:14:48 by rich777 @rich777

This comment is for dannyn.
But can also be applied to other single men interested in finding a Chinese woman
for friendship or for something long term.
The first question I would ask of you dannyn in regards to being a member of this website is what are you looking for ? are you looking for a Pen pal? a girlfriend or maybe a life partner?
Chinese women are extremely smart and they know what they want and what they are looking for and most of the ladies on this site are looking for a life partner.
Now that`s not to say you cant make some friends on the site or maybe even meet that special someone your looking for like I did.
My one suggestion to you would be to understand, that you are dealing with a different culture from the one you are currently in and a lot of patience is required for the two of you to get to know each other, I would also like you to be aware that depending on where you live there is a time difference so while your asleep Chinese women are at work and vice versa which can make things more difficult.
and in response to nation of loves comment I will say that Chinese women are interested more in your character (are you an honest,hard working,honorable, family oriented man.) than they are your race or nationality.
so best wishes to you both on your searches.
Rich.

#2010-06-12 20:35:57 by blueeyesfromoz @blueeyesfromoz

American Women. Say there are about 400 millions people in the USA. Of those quite a few are women. Of those, most of course are American "by culture" and you met a few amongst those. I still would hesitate to make sweeping statements about any because they belong to a specific environment and culture. Your sample was by necessity small;-)

#2014-07-29 16:22:03 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

Good article and nice to hear you have good comments to most of Chinese woman here.Yes, we are comparatively more serious and practical on our searching. The main reason for a western woman has less independent to a man is due to they almost share the equal rights from family and society.Of course also connected with their growing up,family and educational background.In western country, woman have comparatively more time(than most of the traditional Chinese woman) to devote them into training, social intercourse and career so that they can gain better working ability, more friends, possible successful career(making money) and of course have more life enjoyment...Most of traditional Chinese women especial in my age still engaged much time into the family issues no matter if she has a good job or not.For those successful woman, it is even harder for them since she has to balance the family issues at the same time of devotion into work or business.Some of them has to work as baby-sitter(mother), housewife(cleaner), wife and an employee at the same time...

In those high freedom countries especial in U.S., why more and more woman become greedy and less appreciation? Did this exist between children and parents in western country? Here, we grew up more connected with family and parents including those teaching books.Although it is a natural rule & responsibility that a couple give birth and raise the child, but the child(especial when be for parent) will feel gratitude for all the parents done for them. Of course, this kind of emotion will likewise be put onto some other relationships like with children, relatives, friends, coworkers, teachers... All these represent our gratitude to others & the world...Even if we can be successful like most of western woman, we will not take it for granted and we well understand we just stand up shoulders of many related people including our parents, our children, our husband or wife, our friends, our boss... Without their helps, encouraging, supporting, we can't achieve today's success...Like the song of "You Raise me Up". This is why we still could peacefully give our best wishes and sincere thanks to those man encountered even if we can't be for life partner or couple for some reasons...

Thanks again for your good words to Chinese woman!

#2014-07-29 16:30:38 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

In addition, I agree with you that " great patience is required for a cross cultural relationship". This is absolutely right! Besides, strong faith on true love. steady emotion, timely affirmation/compliment, appreciation/gratitude to the other side, less materialistic are also helpful to establish the relationship.

When you never hear "thanks" during your communication since the beginning,what feeling you will get?

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