Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Alcatraz Part 1    

By Paul Fox
2425 Views | 8 Comments | 7/26/2019 9:20:48 AM

The main picture here, at least for most people, is a photo of 'god'.

Before we begin, I want to make a couple of things clear.

1. This is NOT in any way 'conspiratorial', so please leave any accusatoins to the contrary out of the comments.

2. This blog is in two parts for a good reason. It contains possibly some of the most important information I have ever written, especially when it comes to relationships, and it is far too long to put it all in one blog.

And thirdly, if it comes across like I am 'preaching', or as some kind of 'lecture', then I apologise. That is not my intent.


I want to start by telling you about something that I experienced a few years ago, yet still seems like it was yesterday.

Every Sunday morning, 10am until noon, I would go to a student's home to give him private English lessons. He was 15 at the time.

He and his family lived in an exclusive 'gated community' just outside the centre of my QLV.

When I say 'exclusive', I am not joking. There were no apartments there, only double-storey houses, each one worth many millions of RMB.

At the main entrance there was what you might describe as a 'glass telephone box'. Inside, a security guard stood to attention, and he would turn and 'salute' people as they entered and exited. Beyond this 'phone box' was the main security 'hut' and a barrier.

The guards knew me and would always smile as they raised the barrier.

I would then turn left and ride along the road until I reached my student's home.

The street was manicured; beautiful trees and shrubs were well cared for, and there were always 3 street cleaners working along that section of road. They would always smile and wave at me as I rode past.

One Sunday I had a Chinese friend with me. She was the student's class head-teacher from our school.

As we rode past the cleaners they stopped, smiled, and waved at me, just as they always did. They were sweet.

My friend asked, 'Why are you waving at them?'

'What do you mean?', I asked....

'Well, you're a teacher. They are just street cleaners'.

I couldn't believe my ears.

'They are HUMAN BEINGS', I replied through gritted teeth. (How DARE she say such a thing!!)

It was at least 2 years later when that same friend said to me over dinner one night, "I am really grateful for the things you have taught me about myself"

I reminded her of what she had said that Sunday morning, and she smiled. 'I think that's when my learning began', she said.

That was 4 years ago now. I never missed a Sunday lesson with that student in two whole years. The family would often invite me for dinner, and I was always a welcome guest at their gatherings. They were lovely people.

Moving on to more recent events, and the main point of these blogs, I was recently contacted by a lady here on CLM.

We got chatting on WeChat and she asked me, "What are you looking for?"

Knowing exactly what she meant, I replied, 'What makes you think I am looking?" (Followed by a smiley face so she knew I was teasing her).

Her 'response' was also just an of confusoin...

I went on.......

"Imagine you are an exquisite bottle of wine in the corner of a liquor store. Are you looking for someone to buy you? Or are you waiting patiently for that discerning wine-lover to walk in and 'select' you, knowing full well that he will cherish every drop?"

"I'm not sure what you mean", she replied.

"Why 'look' when you can simply wait to be discovered?".

She sent me a smiley face as a reply.

"Hmmm", she said....."That's quite 'deep', I think"

"Are you happy?", she asked.

"I'm always happy", I replied.

"I try to be", she said, 'but deep down I am not"

'Why?" I asked.

"Well what is happiness?"

What followed will be in part 2, but little did this lady know that she was going to receive the most profound lesson she could possibly imagine. A lesson that was quite possibly going to change her outlook on life completely........

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2019-07-26 09:40:01 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Philosophers have been trying, and failing, to answer the question of "What is Happiness?" for as long as there have been philosphers.  Maybe one or two have discovered and pronounced the right answer, but if so, the others didn't recognize it as the right answer. There has been no unanimously accepted answer to the question, nor anything close to it.

So if this first part is a setup to what will be revealed as the true meaning of "happiness", excuse me if I am skeptical.

Nonetheless you certainly have piqued my curiosity and I am interested to see what follows.

And so far, so good regarding the conspiracy concerns. Keep it up! (clap)

#2019-07-26 10:42:38 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


please don't get your hopes up by expecting a definitive answer to the meaning of 'happiness', because it can mean different things to different people. All I will be presenting is a different perspective for people to consider.

And, to be honest, I think it's a pretty powerful perspective.

With respect to the (dreaded) topic of 'conspiracy theories', I am now totally refusing to use that phrase. Instead I prefer, 'alternative thinking'.

That said, there comes a point when the 'alternative thinking' crosses the boundary, not into 'reality', but 'actuality'.

What we perceive to be 'reality' is not reality at all, it's only a perception.

In other words, the actuality of reality demonstrates that what we perceive as being 'reality' is false.

Whether your own happiness comes from your loving relationship, or from your job slaughtering animals in an abbatoir, it is still 'happiness', is it not?

Therefore it is difficult to simply 'define', as you correctly outlined above.

But definitions and meanings are not always the same thing.

For instance, the word 'panda' in Chinese is xiong(3) mao(1). The direct definition is 'bear-cat'.

Therefore 'happiness' doesn't need to be defined as such, because everyone knows what happiness is.

However, our perception of what we believe MAKES us happy, is about to be blown to pieces.

#2019-09-21 04:13:10 by anonymous20718 @anonymous20718

"The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." Materialism is rampant in the PRC. In fact during Chinese New Year they ask the money god for good lucky (sic) and financial prosperity. The characters around the door frame also reflect this.

#2019-09-22 06:25:13 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Exactly, but 'money' is fake. It has no value other than the belief people put in it.

#2019-09-23 20:39:56 by roughdiamond @roughdiamond


Comon Paul

can you stop  talking crap

you have told us how much chinese parents are willing to pay you to teach there children

and how you do it

so money is as much of a god to you as anybody else

prove me wrong

shave your head

and put on a brown robe

(rofl) Paul brown robe (rofl)


#2019-09-24 14:59:00 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Only the MOST brain-dead shave their heads and put on a brown, or orange, robe.

What I get paid to teach has no bearing on my comment. Money has no intrinsic value whatsoever. Its only 'value' is the belief that people have in it.

That said, try existing without it. Humans are the ONLY living beings on Earth that have to pay to live here.

#2019-09-27 10:25:05 by anonymous20729 @anonymous20729

"Only the MOST brain-dead shave their heads and put on a brown, or orange, robe."

I think someone like Thích Nhất Hạnh would rate higher on the brain activity scale than you.

#2019-09-27 12:48:01 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Haha, that's why he was exiled, lol.

Maybe you should do some research into the higher echelons of Buddhism and see how evil it is ?

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