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Jasmine Huang, member of CLM, born and raised in the southeast of China, is sharing with you one Chinese woman's point of view regarding western men, Chinese women, online dating and cross cultural relationships. Not an expert, but would be willing to learn and grow with you all.
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A foreign guy’s 2 ‘wives’ ad. in China    

By Jasmine Huang
5868 Views | 11 Comments | 6/10/2010 11:22:48 AM
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photo by Leigh Bowery

All the people here, you are reading me right, though girls may be quite shocking as I feel and guys may be a little envious of this foreign guy in China, but I can assure you it is 100% true. (Some of the following stuffs are directly from this guy’s bio website, looking for GFs.)

‘Why am I here? Why did I create this website? I am looking for a special girl, for a very special serious and long term relationship. I do not lie, play or cheat, I know exactly what I want. I currently have a chinese girlfriend and I am looking for another girl to join us and live her life together with us. Yes she knows this and accepts this, I have no secrets. What I want is one man and 2 girls living together, building their life and future together. You can think of it as same as having 2 wives, but without being married. She and I are building our business together, and we would be very happy if you would work together with us, share our lives and our happiness. You two can be like 2 sisters.

I'm looking for a girl that understands that relationships take work, you must give and take and make compromises. If we communicate together, and are honest and loyal to each other, I believe that we can all be happy. I prefer a girl that doesn't smoke and doesn't drink (or rarely drinks). I don't like bar girls or party girls. If you do not live in Shenzhen (or China) that's ok but you must be willing to relocate (move) here. I want a good girl, someone warm and caring, loving, affectionate. Most importantly I want someone LOYAL and HONEST. Someone that wants a SERIOUS relationship.

1. Yes she really does know I am looking for a second gf/wife. Yes you can see her on cam and talk to her to make sure it's true.
2. No I do NOT want more than 2 gfs. No I will not look for other girls. No I will NOT accept you play with other guys.
3. I want all 3 people living together in ONE HOME. Not seperated. Not "part time". I want serious relationship.
4. Yes I will help you pay for the ticket to come here. But I am not stupid, I will not send money to a girl I never met. Before we live together we must meet in person to see if we are a match. I will travel to go see you first in your city or country.
5. I will NOT send you money to "support you" until you live here. Too many girls cheat the guys doing this.
6. My gf and I do business here in China. I expect you to work together with us, we will teach you.’

Speechless. Speechless. Speechless!!! Finally I know I have the moment to be speechless.

One man and 2 girls live together in one home. How dare he ask for that? Is he the emperor? And he called that kind of relationship the serious and long term relationship? Then what are we looking for?

And his current Chinese gf agrees with the whole of his plan. Unbelievable. Ubelievable.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 11) 1 2 More...
#2010-06-10 22:54:34 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Interesting. There was just an episode of the popular American television show "House" on this topic. One of the claims made in the show was that the person in an open marriage was just doing what many couples do--only they are being open and honest about it instead of sneaking around. I guess I would agree that the person who placed the ad is morally superior to the businessman or government official who keeps a mistress on the side. Indeed, there are people who are as repulsed by what we are doing at CLM as you are by this guy seeking two women (see my last blog post). Frankly, I fail to see the moral harm in either situation. Nor for all your outrage do you tell us what exactly that moral harm might be.

#2010-06-11 07:50:29 by thedragonb1 @thedragonb1

Haaahaa!! :) Well, some women and men are willing to accept this type of relationship.

"What is one's cup of tea is another's cigarette extinguisher!"
— Bren
All you can do is leave them be. It's obvious his gf has her reasons for accepting such a :Ménage à trois" relationship (3 person relationship). He's obvious thinking back to the old traditional days of Chinese men having more than one wife. We can not judge. All we can do is mind our own business. ;)

#2010-06-21 12:51:02 by bettyhan @bettyhan

Some women didn't have man long time. So the woman-current gf, maybe made a right choice.
no man or half man? this is a question.

#2010-09-21 22:15:18 by alias123 @alias123

I am not sure if the guy you mention is a Muslim or not.For a foreigner Muslim was lookking for his chinese wives in China.Yes ,two of chinese girls be his wives.And these two girls must be muslim too.

While I chatted to him he told me "it is every man's dream have two wives...and married two wives better than have mistress behind his wife...at least it is honest and open.
Actually you can see a lot of foreigner muslims married chinese girls in Guangzhou,and the chinese wife knew there another or two wives in his country too...for the muslim culture.

#2010-12-29 17:56:00 by laobi @laobi

I agree with you...how could have the audacity to expect the two women to live together? He should have the decency and know-with-all to do what MOST of the affluent Chinese men in Shenzhen do; pay for a separate place for his GF. Like other Chinese wives, she know he has a GF, but doesn't have it thrown in her face by sharing living quarters.

Did anyone detect the facetiousness in the above?

#2011-02-12 13:34:03 by xactly @xactly

Interesting to notice that the guy makes a lot of demands but has little to offer. Things are usually not that simple. He promises a long term relationship with both women. But how long? and How long the relationship can last with two women under the same roof competing for the affection of one man?

I bet he is after sex and threesome every night without having to pay it. Having a bit of fun with two women without marrying them, at the same time finding a free (or cheap) employee for his business. How darned ideal?

Not having a marriage license means he can take off anytime. So what about "long term" relationship? How do the women know it is not a ruse? What security he is offering besides his words? I think this quy is a nasty egocentric bastard. I wouldn't buy a word this guy says.

What does he think? Chinese women are cheap and stupid?

#2011-03-16 14:51:32 by victoriafeng @victoriafeng

Mr. Xactly, you are my hero! You are the one really care about women and look after their benefit. What lifestyle bullshit is just a smart way to screw up those innocent girls.

#2012-12-11 23:15:25 by yangguizi @yangguizi

Wow, you can't blame him for trying though! Well I guess you can. If hope whoever he finds is not someone who is desperate.

#2013-10-04 08:12:08 by RobertB @RobertB

First | must say this: This is China!
Country of 1.4 bln people. Mathematically this is a necessity.
Statistically it had to happen.
The rest?
Many men in the West and East have many wives, only they do not call them wives for the same reasons Augustus Ceasar was not called king but the Father of the Nation. Roman History.
I have heard of a French man that is not Muslim and has 4 wives.
Generally it all depends on democratic values.
We accept that everyone can ask anything. Technically even illegal things.
Then the answers do not have to be positive or negative.
That depends.
That is democracy.
The other factor is that many so called values eroded in Europe and there for example marriage is nothing of what used to be only 50 years ago.
Many people do not get married at all. Some of them have children and then leave their partners without much of a warning and they have a full right to do so. The police will not intervene and bring them back by force.
So, effectively those men have many wives, who have no security of any kind. Marriage is based on absolute trust. That is powerful as trust creates faith and that creates innocence. Faith creates reality and innocence is dangerous as you know that who will harm the innocent will suffer the "wrath of God". Ok. So, after that . you need to know.. Do you agree to the conditions? No, so do not..
In Europe we have introduced gay marriages. It is a sign of allowing people to pursue their democratic right to ask questions of any kind and be given positive answers..
There are people who do not like it but they have to accept it as this is sign of human freedom.
Now, technically speaking China is a democracy, that means any one can be an emperor in his home. Or empress.

#2013-10-04 08:15:08 by RobertB @RobertB

Ah, let me add this;

True there was an Incan King, he had 400 wives and 500 concubines.
He found the one he loved and they both lived on a mountain.
So, the other wives and concubines were left alone.
Also, there was a scientific test done and it showed that one male fish would have sex only with particular female and no other. .
So, oh wonder this life..oh wonder. ..All happens in this world and it even prospers.. I love computers

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