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A writer for CLM Magazine and CLM Social Pages, Achelle is also an independent blogger, giving her two cents on personal and social issues from an educated Filipina's point of view, especially those relating to love and relationships. She has a knack for tackling issues from unique angles that are often left unexplored, posing questions that move and challenge readers to view a certain issue from a wholly different perspective. Achelle is happily engaged to her childhood sweetheart and is currently based in the Philippines. Achelle's writing is a delight to read and highly enlightening, entertaining and thought provoking. You're going to see lots of her on our Emagazine, Blogs, Social Pages and Hubs. Enjoy
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A Question for Foreign Men    

By Achelle Vinzon
5112 Views | 19 Comments | 6/3/2013 3:52:11 PM
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(Showing 11 to 19 of 19) Previous 1 2
#2013-06-08 06:51:25 by Tyler72 @Tyler72

Haha.. The funniest thing , to me, about the typical Asian-girl fetish guysiis that they are somehow under the impression that the women of Asia are quiet, passive and "under control" of the men...Maybe in Japan where they get regular beatings.. (joke) but any guy who goes into a relationship with a modern woman from China thinking hes in charge or that shes going to just be quiet and follow his orders is in for a SERIOUS (and painful) education!!

#2013-06-08 08:13:49 by Andypanda @Andypanda

Great topic and great response's. So I have to add my 2 cent's.
I was going to say I disagree that there is a thin line between Asian/Chinese fetish. Until I read the bit Elliot wrote. Is this the truth ? to desire "IS" to have a fetish for that person or thing ?
I dont know. maybe yes.
I know I have very deep desire for my fiance in both love and lust.
There is no questioning that Asian women on a whole and by sheer numbers are very sexy.
You may see several very attractive women in one day in the west but in China you may see several every ten minutes.
I will be honest and confess, I was looking for an attractive Chinese wife.
Only because I knew that there was a very high chance that I would find a Chinese wife who was not only beautiful to look at but would have a beautiful kind heart and therefore be beautiful to live with.
Is it wrong for me to want to gaze at my wife and admire every day how beautiful and elegant she is?
I know some say beauty is not important to them, well Im sorry if this makes me shallow but it is important to me.
This however does not mean it is the most important or the only important quality.
In a nutshell Chinese women seem to have it all in regards to what I was looking for in a wife. Us western men on this site are truly spoiled for choice. Hallelujah.

#2013-06-08 15:23:05 by AchelleVinzons @AchelleVinzons

Thank you for all the feedback, insightful and otherwise (lol).

It seems to me that the subject is far more complicated than can be understood/explained by simply answering the question I posted. Nevertheless, if it makes some men here stop and think about their true intentions and motivations, then it has served its purpose.

#2013-06-09 04:03:40 by Fred816 @Fred816


My response is to the ladies who will read this and not to any specific person who commented in regards to the initial question. Ladies....to avoid any further inconveniences or disrespectful men, put "respect" up front. If he says anything disrespectful, find someone else. Don't waste your time. Even if it has been a while since your last contact. Remember...patients is a virtue and haste makes waste. Value your own self respect. Follow your intuition, trust in your inner voice and navigate your path to the beginning of a happy ending.

#2013-06-10 06:11:47 by RobertB @RobertB

Tough article. I think that we as humans have sort of difficult but somewhat exciting life. We want to say that we are equal. We are. We are not.
If we look each other in the eyes and know that is another human being not a shrimp or a oyster, then it is already good.
Originally men were supposed to be a little rough and women a little soft so they can search for some yin and yang.
Nowadays, our life demands from us many different behaviors.
I have found out that men actually are constantly trained to ignore women.
They go with women to school, work and so on and cannot just touch them, grope them or fight them. They can feel alienated by them or even threatened by them.
That forces them to learn first and foremost to develop some immunity to women. Then when they think of Chinese women they think that they are submissive correctly assuming that most individuals would be little bit cooperative when.. yes.. Chinese women can be quite cooperative.
That is often mistaken for submission. Actually we need to understand what is submission and types of that. Submission is necessary in our lives.
All tough men are submissive. All women of success are extremely submissive. OK. When you get on a plane, that you do not pilot, when you follow company procedures or country laws you show typical submissive behavior. Also, when you decide to be brave and sit on that dentist chair.
Same, when a street fighter meets someone else, submits to their "strategy". Follows it.
So, submission is kind of allowing the energy of another to flow through you. That is very good in many cases. Being tolerant is kind of submission. On the other hand, you may want to remain independent.
That said, we have to see that there is difference between being able to submit yourself to your lover or maybe dentist or flying authority and succumb to your own weakness or somebody's indiscriminate behavior towards you. If someone clearly does not care about you, about your feelings and thoughts, then there is no real reason to submit.
Wisdom lies in ability to see the difference.
I mean, even if you smoke, you submit to your vice.
You can, but you need to know when you should stop to protect yourself. So, is with love.
That said, I believe that there is a huge misunderstanding.
I think Chinese women can be very cooperative. That in Western eyes is often seen as submission. There is where proverbial geisha strikes, probably the most dangerous moment is when she totally submits.
I mean if someone feels in total control loses all sense of reality.
So, I would not say that being submissive is sign of weakness.
As you can see, usually Western men leave with little money less.
The woman achieved her goal. Without fighting.
Not that she could not fight. Thai boxing, kung fu and alike come from "soft" cultures. Now, we in the West, learn African and Asian secrets, which in fact are well known ancient facts and knowledge.
So, being soft should not be mistaken for weakness.
Inability to act, when one should act, compulsion to act, when one should not is weakness.
Still it is in our minds what we perceive and how. This is important.
Two people are together because they feel comfortable together and/or they desire each other. Other than that, well. They are probably hoping for better.
Adding to that. I feel that we as humans are trying the best ways to create the best possible lives. We maybe never succeed, Still we do have some fun trying.

#2013-06-10 09:48:55 by anonymous6513 @anonymous6513

@TimG

I was going to pose the same question. As it stands, I think I am perfectly fine with a woman having a "Western Men" fetish, especially since I am one. LOL

#2013-06-11 04:35:22 by anonymous6528 @anonymous6528

I will admit, I suffer from an Asian fetish, but I also respect and admire Asian culture. I do believe that my desire to learn more about Asian culture outweighs my fetish, and so, I find myself making friends and sharing cultural experiences. I do not desire to be with an American woman, as I have found them to be, at best, part gold-digger, whereas I find Asian women to be more spiritual and not material. I am not a material person and am tired of being viewed as a bank account.

#2013-06-12 02:13:53 by Tyler72 @Tyler72

@anonymous6528 You know, I read a lot of the home girl bashing and then hear how Asian women arent this and arent that..

I think its a combination of upbringing, socioeconomic background and life experience that makes a gold digger or materialistic girl be that way...

The particular causes exist just as much in China as back home in the good ole US of A.. I find it HILARIOUS that you think you wont be seen as a walking checkbook in China or some other Asian country.. Have you spent much time in China? ...and if its yes Ill follow right up with "Have you spent much time in any decent sized city, in China?"

I want to point out right here, that im not saying all Chinese women are gold diggers! LOL.. Ladies dont come gunning for me, if I thought that, I wouldnt be here on this site... (end of disclaimer)

I would say that if you ask the women on this site (dont just take my word for it) they will verify that China is FULL and exploding with gold diggers.. And you will find that everywhere you go people will charge you more because you are a rich westerner.. LOL, it doesnt matter that there are many more rich people in China these days if you look at the statistics (our average quality of life is astonishingly higher though). They have far more ppl in the millionaires club than we do.. And they are liquid, whereas most US millionaires are heavily invested.

Havent you ever heard the "i would rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle" rant? Its on you tube.. Its classic.

I also love Chinese women for a number of reasons, i wont start listing because its all over this site already, but please.. Get real, take the I hate western women blinders off and look hard and carefully around you because while their are a great number of really wonderful Chinese women out there who want a real family with a loyal husband and they will save and manage the household income like a champ for the betterment of their entire family.. Lalala. There are also just as many WORLD CLASS gold diggers plotting this very moment how they can take advantage of your naivety and give you a serious and apparently blind siding fleecing.

I also want to throw out there, that while its not making me like Chinese women any less or change my mind and look for an American woman at this point.. Having moved from huge wealthy coastal US cities to a smaller midwestern city recently.. The women are very different based on where they live back home too.. I constantly meet women here who remind me that its unfair to write off or put down an entire nation of females because Im fed up with the ones I was meeting in New York or Miami Beach.

LOL.. Weight is another matter, they do breed them (again not all of them) way to big for my taste here in Western Michigan.. But they are much nicer and definitely not all gold diggers.



#2013-06-27 17:57:04 by anonymous6717 @anonymous6717

For those guys who are anti-gold diggers, there is a chinese saying

"The women without charm regard men as playboys, and the men lacking competence find women materialistic.
女人没魅力才觉得男人花心,男人没实力才觉得女人现实。"

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