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Love to smile, born in a small village, enjoyed the farm life with my family before leaving home for schools and college, have been working in cities so far, being interested in history, music and sports, dreaming to fly all over the world, hoping to share my feelings with you. I believe great friendships or even really happy relationships are based on good communication. What are you chasing after in the world, my dear friends? Anyway, I hope you are not lonely during your search.
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A Chinese Woman's Life in Australia: Festivals & Happiness 一个中国女人在澳洲的生活经历:节日&快乐    

By Meg
5357 Views | 26 Comments | 9/30/2015 3:07:53 PM

New Year Day in the Sea in Australia

A happy pig, and painful Socrates, what differences are there between them? A pig is happy, in human’s opinion, it only means the happy in the body. Perhaps, the difference between human and animals is the awakening of self-consciousness.  The awakening of self-consciousness is not equal to a blind pursuit of freedom, the light of blind pursuit of freedom is not human glory, where there is no yourself, but your pursuit; without knowing who you are, how could you make sense of self-awareness?


“In daily life, time flies in linearity, and the festivals are like the scales of the line, it is meaningful only with measurement.” I like these words.

In my hometown, we have traditional festivals, such as Spring Festival, lunar July 14th, Lunar August 15th, New Year, etc. Of course, Spring Festival is the most important.

When I was young, before every spring festival, mum and dad with us children would always sat together and talked about our new year’s plans. For example, how many cakes would we make? How many zongzis would we make? How much meat would we buy? Or whether would we keep a chicken for the new year or not?  And what plans for the farm and schools after the new year; etc. Every New Year’s Eve, other families would have chicken or geese for big dinners, my family only had stewed pork legs, but, we felt very happy and were full of hope for the future, we didn’t feel missing anything.

Then, I got a Holiday Phobia - it’s popular nowadays, It should be begun with having my son, I felt depressed, sad, lost, and nervous; I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t feel like eating anything, and felt panic seeing colleagues. The most uncomfortable is a few days before festival, then, with the festival was coming and going by, the feelings came back to normal slowly. In order to keep balance in my heart, I ever chose to go on studying in university, with my baby son, fighting side by side with the 20s year old young people. I never forget the time, among seventy students, there were only 20 passed the Japanese exams, I was one of them, passed with the grade 79%.  Friends applauded me, but they couldn’t see my sadness, because I never showed on face or actions. What’s more, son and I stayed with my parents and family every festival, family cared for me, warmed my heart, they inputted oxygen into my choking feeling world on time, I was saved and survived.

With an occasional chance, I moved to a new city with son and my parents.  Luckily, I met a good boss, I found a new stage for the progress of my career, and built a new platform for me and my family, my sister’s family was in the same city, so my parents helped us look after babies. From then on, the world was changed in my eyes, without previously repressed atmosphere, I felt frankly, enjoyed every day. Although the emotion world was empty in the deep heart at that time, from time to time, there was a sense of loss; however, compared to the warm from family, the lost was not worth mentioning. Especially, mum and dad built a harmony family for us, every day, every festival, the love and care inspire everything in our life and it has been sublimated into a precious family culture.

Australian Festivals, Multi-culture

“How is it going? Are you happy in the festival?” Family and friends often ask me.

The second week in Australia, it’s my husband’s birthday. I see it as our first festival, for its significance is unusual. We got together, planted flowers. I said to him, “The love between us, or family love between us and children is just like the seedling , precious and very fragile, need to take good care of, in addition to the sunshine and rain, have to repair the broken branches when it’s necessary, otherwise, it is easy to collapse and die.”

In November, Melbourne Festival, wearing beautiful dressed, my husband and I walked to friends and people with happy greetings. It’s the first time for me to experience Australian Festival.

In December, the first Christmas, I felt lost. I wasn’t happy, only confused and freaked out; the inner psychology was very complex. Before Christmas, the shopping centres were bustling, people were happy and busy to buy gifts. The gifts were not so expensive, but all packaged beautifully; on Christmas Day and the next two days, the streets were deserted and cold, the shops were closed; though we had big dinner with all family, shared gifts one another, I felt lost, I was so blind that the heart ached beyond words.

Christmas is a religious festival, it should be the most important festival in Australia. I learn and understand some teachings of all religions, I admit they have positive significance. The family here, and friends, most of them are Christians, their kindness touches me deeply, but, there are some that I tentatively referred them as the “Pseudo Believers”, the hypocritical is very terrible. Even if in the church, they never forget to stare at me with despised eyes, with tart words and ugly faces. I don’t belong to any religion, but my moral quality can stand the test crossing time and space; perhaps, it is because the self-feeling was too strong, leading to the loss, seriously.

To be a person, I’m most afraid of the word “serious”, indeed.

I often communicate with my husband. We talk about our own feelings, about family, friends, jobs, strangers; etc.Sometimes, we have different attitudes and ways on some things, in my opinion, anything should have a basic line, regardless of any person, but most of time he showed the kind or gentle(maybe the words are not correct enough) beyond my expectations. I even worried about his bearing capacity, felt tired for him. I think I am not selfish; after all, life is short. At that moment, the conflict of culture, the contradiction of traditions, the gap of characters all tortured me. In my most depressed, my friends held my hands, listened to me; distant family, including my husband’s sisters were also my faithful listeners, one of my husband’s old schoolmates wrote me, “Don't  worry, Meg, you are not alone. I am here for you, anytime.” The heart, like the sea, after a period of tempestuous waves, finally came back to balance.

I am very lucky, really. Especially, when I feel I can stand on the earth stably. Thank my husband, he can tolerate my “High Bossy”, and he has been very good to me. I don’t expect to have a luxurious manor, a luxury car; I only hope that after experiencing the baptism of wind and rain, in the challenges of the secular, we can build a diverse and healthy family culture. As a mother, I always remember that parents are children’s mirrors.

Mid- Autumn Day

Today is Mid-Autumn Day, it is school holiday in Australia. On Monday son with me drove to Sydney to buy mooncakes; last night, my husband and I bought my favourite seafood. This morning, the youngest son went to work in Macdonald. Son began to mow the lawn in the front yard after his lunch. When I began to write this blog on the first floor, my husband came to me and smiled, “You own me a cup of tea and a hug.” I love his Australian humour.

Now, looking at the moon in the sky, in fact, the moon in Australia is as round as in China.


Who am I? Where am I from? Where am I going?

Just as the kids cannot find their homes, or the lost orphans, with confuse, we continue to pursuit, to look for own homes. In the “pain” and “bitterness”, do not neglect, perhaps, happiness is just in the gap between our fingers.

Happy Mid-Autumn Day, my dear friends!








“日常生活中,时间线性流逝,而节日就像这条线上的刻度,有了度量,才有意义。” 我喜欢这句话。






不知道什么时候开始,想起来应该是自从孩子出生之后,我就患上时下流行的节日恐惧症  - 抑郁,忧伤,失落,心神不定,吃不香,睡不着,看到领导同事就发慌。节日前几天最难受,随着节日的到来和过去,感觉慢慢恢复正常。为了能保持平衡,我曾经选择继续到大学进修,带着幼小的孩子,和20岁出头的年轻人并肩拼搏。记得日语考级时,一个七十多人的考场,只有20人过关,我的成绩是79分,朋友们为我鼓掌。但是,朋友看不到我的忧伤, 因为,我从来不把忧伤显露在脸上,更没有表现在言行上;再说,每个节日,我和孩子总是跟我的父母和家人一起过,父母和家人的关爱温暖了我,给我几乎窒息的情感世界及时输入了氧气, 救了我,使我得以幸存。


一个偶然的机会,我离开老家,带着孩子父母远走他乡。到一个陌生的城市,幸亏遇到了我认为是我有生以来见过的最好的领导,最有人情味、也是最有能力的领导,不仅给我事业的进步找到了新的台阶,也给我和我的家人搭建了一个新的平台。我的妹妹一家跟我在同一个城市,父亲母亲一起帮我们带孩子。从此,我的心胸豁然开朗,脱离了以前压抑的氛围,坦然地,真真正正的和家人享受每一个节日。虽然,当时情感上还是空白,偶尔还有失落感,但是,和家人给我的温暖相比,那点失落已经不足挂齿。特别是我的父亲母亲, 他们为我们全家营造了和谐的氛围,每一天,每一个周末,特别是每一个节日,那份浓浓的亲情、无私的爱、相互激励已经升华成为我们家的一份珍贵的文化。






登陆澳洲第二个星期,就是我老公的生日,我把它当作我们的第一个节日,因为在我的眼里,它的意义非同寻常。我们相约一起在家园耕土、种花。记得, 当时我对他说,“我们俩之间的爱情,或者我们与孩子之间的亲情,就像这棵幼苗,珍贵,又非常的脆弱,需要精心呵护,除了阳光雨露,必要时还得折枝修理,否则,很容易夭折。“








做人,最怕“认真”二字,此话不假, 真的。


我和老公经常对话,谈我们各自的感受,谈论家人,谈论朋友,谈论陌生人,谈论工作等等; 有时,面对一些事情,我们的态度方法不同,我觉得任何事情应该有底线,不管对任何人,但是很多时候他表现的温和超出我的预料,我甚至担心他的承受能力,帮他感觉累。我不是自私,毕竟人生苦短。那时候,文化的冲突,传统的矛盾,性格的差距都折磨着我。在我最苦闷的时候,朋友握着我的手,倾听我的诉说;远方的家人、老公的姐妹也是我的忠实听众,老公的一个老同学在网上给我留言:“别担心,你不孤独,我在这里,我会尽我的能力帮助你”。心海,经过一段时间惊涛骇浪的搏击,如今,终于重新归于平衡。


我真的很幸运,特别是我有脚踏实地的感觉时。感谢老公能容忍我的 “霸道”,一直对我关怀备至。我不奢望拥有豪华的庄园,名贵的跑车,只期望经历风雨的洗礼,在与世俗的挑战中,能一起营建一个多元的、健康向上的家庭文化。身为母亲,我时刻记着:父母就是孩子的镜子。




今天是中秋节,也是这里的学校假日,星期一那天儿子开车和我去悉尼买了月饼, 昨晚,爱人和我去买了我最喜欢的海鲜。今早,最小的儿子去麦当劳打工;儿子吃完中餐就帮忙除草。当我在一楼开始写博客时,老公进来说我欠他的一杯茶和一个拥抱 - 喜欢他的澳式幽默。










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#2015-09-30 15:05:34 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

It is hard moving to new countries, adjusting to new cultures. It takes an open mind and a patient heart. You have both of those Meg, so you cannot fail. This was best evidenced by this beautiful line in your blog, "Now, looking at the moon in the sky, in fact, the moon in Australia is as round as in China."

I love that line. It reminds me so much of my first moment in China when I realized China had become my home, not the place I resided, but home in my heart. Guess where I was Meg?

I was staring out across West Lake in Hangzhou, gazing at a big round moon in the night sky. And I was at peace.

Thank you for bringing back that moment, and for sharing it with me in your new home in Australia. Cheers. (handshake)

#2015-09-30 19:42:46 by Megi1179 @Megi1179


In this blog, I want to say I was born in a really happy family, my parents built a healthy,happy and warm home for me; so the final destination for me in my life is to build my own healthy happy home, I won't stop whatever it takes.

In my opinion, only with really happy marriage, we can build a healthy happy home. I think I am a traditional Chinese woman on this way. I have seen many failed marriage examples in life, not only transnational marriage. And transnational marriage faces more severe challenges.

There are many factors that affect the happiness of marriage, as far as I am concerned, the most important factors should be the individual's values and outlook on life. With the right values and outlook on life, the marriage should be the highest level - soul mate, not only simple life companion.

Thank you.

#2015-10-01 01:13:05 by QinQL @QinQL

Meg, 你是位非常努力,令我敬佩的人!你的博客就像一本书一样,层次脉络非常清晰。你总是要把自己最快乐的一面带给你周围的人。更从这篇博客里,我也看到了你的内心,还有新的勇气和进步,真的!忍不住要为你鼓掌叫好 (clap)(clap)(clap) meg,特别喜欢你在花园里对你老公说的话 “我们俩之间的爱情,或者我们与孩子之间的亲情,就像这棵幼苗,珍贵,又非常的脆弱,需要精心呵护,除了阳光雨露,必要时还得折枝修理,否则,很容易夭折。“ 我觉得自己也受到了启发。以后如果遇到我的他,我也要记得分享这句话,和他共勉。

我也喜欢看你的照片,你让我们见到了你的家人,也看到了你的一些变化, 正如John说的,“Thank you for sharing it with me in your new home in Australia.”,他还谢谢你 “ for bringing back that moment ” , the moment he was at peace in Hangzhou. You both felt peace, then I feel peace too though I haven’t found the right person, heheh.


Meg,放轻松些。鄙夷的目光和神情,那是一种无知和心胸不开阔的表现,请不要在意。这日子呀,最紧要的,还是要照顾好自己,照顾好家人的感受。就如你所做的,自己想工作了,就努力考证找工作。自己想在家了,就可以呆在家里帮家人。有家人的关爱和帮助,一家人就有幸福,就会心想事成。 永远祝福你,可敬、善良的meg!

#2015-10-01 20:01:53 by Megi1179 @Megi1179


You and I are alike on some ways, I am very happy for that. My son and I are also good friends. When I decided to buy my own house in China many years ago, I said to him we had to stop travelling and saved money, he said he understood. He began to work in school holidays since junior high school, he does house work, without any squeamish. Last night, he asked me what differences are there between Australian election and American Presidential election? And how is Russian political system? I am pleased he begins to open his eyes to the world. My son gets on very well with my husband; the neighbours also say he is a good boy.

Come back to our story, owning a marriage needs fate or chance, but what do we need to maintain a family? Maybe different persons have different thoughts.

People say Chinese, especially Chinese women love their children more than their husbands, while westerners are different. I don’t agree, because one of my Australian local workmates divorced again just for she and her husband couldn’t do with the problems from their own children.

A psychologist said that family is a place where is love, not rational, there is no need to distinguish who is right or who is wrong. However, some “small trifles” often causes a family fragmented, even lead to destruction.

We all have children, with children, the emotional imbalance is easy to occur , and the boundary of the state is easy to get blurry; one or both couple who devote too much affection on children and neglect the centre of gravity of the family relationship – the construction of husband and wife's feeling.

Another key point is, the pattern of the order, in my mind, family (include minor children and adult children), relatives, acquaintances, strangers should have boundaries, the principle of treatments, ways, and interactive forms should be different.

My husband’s best quality is he always takes good care of others, while his shortcoming is he cares for others too much to look after himself, it seems like he never needs others’ care. In the church, I met the despised eyes, tart words and ugly faces, all out of jealousy. I said to my husband, I am open and I respect any person, if anyone doesn’t respect me, my basic attitude is simple – learning to neglect.

Life is a process of learning. It is a pity that many people don’t want to communicate; it’s lucky that my husband can understand my difficulties, and I can share with friends here.

Thank you, QinQL.







我老公的优点是很会关心人,他的缺点是太过于关心别人,忽略他自身的存在,好像他自己从来不需要别人的关心,教堂里,我遇到了那些鄙夷的眼光和丑陋的嘴脸,存粹出于嫉妒。我跟老公说, 我做人坦坦荡荡,我尊重每一个人,对我不尊重的,我首选态度很简单,学会忽略!



#2015-10-01 22:55:10 by Barry1 @Barry1


"there are some that I tentatively referred them as the “Pseudo Believers”, the hypocritical is very terrible. Even if in the church, they never forget to stare at me with despised eyes, with tart words and ugly faces. I don’t belong to any religion, but my moral quality can stand the test crossing time and space"

An interesting and honest story, thanks Meg.

I agree there are many hypocrites who attend churches regularly. But I am surprised that some people would stare at you with despising eyes. Are you sure of this? Maybe you misinterpreted their feelings of curiosity at seeing a new person in the congregation?

Your feelings however reminded me of those written by our lady friend Juju, who in January 2014 said the following:

"there are a third group of Caucasian women with whom I certainly have some negative experiences. Putting aside the very unfriendly glares received every now and then from some local ladies passing by on the street due to various reasons"

(Whatever happened to Juju, I wonder?)

If in fact there are some Western ladies who don't like Chinese ladies, I would say the main reason for this would be jealousy. Western ladies are on average, less good looking, less slim and less intelligent (in my view) than the average Chinese.

So I say to you - wear as a badge of honour every time you experience a negative reaction from a Western lady. This only highlights their boorish behaviour and feelings of deep rooted insecurity.

I'm pleased to say that from my experience, in Australia at least, maybe only one person out of every one hundred would be ignorant like this. That leaves around ninety-nine people who hopefully will more than make up for any discomfort you may otherwise spasmodically receive.

By the way, I'm in China at the moment and I also receive plenty of looks from native Chinese here. Whether these are good or bad I don't really know and in fact, I don't really care.

More power and best wishes to you Meg. (y)

#2015-10-02 12:28:22 by melcyan @melcyan

Meg, your self-knowledge has been a key part of your success. I hope your story inspires many other CLM members to also become self-aware before they choose their life partner.

#2015-10-02 18:24:30 by Mela01 @Mela01



还有一个关键,就是差序格局,在我的心目中,家人(包括未成年孩子和成年孩子)、亲戚、熟人、生人应该有界限,其对待原则、对待方式、互动形态都应该不同。 ”

#2015-10-02 18:54:14 by Megi1179 @Megi1179


You are right, Barry. The women I met here in Australia, more than 99% are very good and respect me, some have been helping me a lot and we have become very good friends. But there are some people behaving very badly, even in public, a few were strangers, the others were not, though I smiled and said hello to them, they still talked with me with the tart words and showed me the despised eyes, my husband was not there at that time.

I never cared the gossips in life before, I have a big family, all my family are open and communicate very well; at work, my old colleagues even said to me, " you have a long neck, you never care what people talk about you.." I said to them," You can talk about me anything behind me, but if someone talks in front of me or face to face, I will also have my " dǎ gǒu gùn 打狗棍 " - the stick used to beat the dog.

Life is reality, I don't know what kind of bad persons I would meet in the future, but I have learned some lessons now, not like the first happening, I really wanted to find a hole to drilled down at that time, though I didn't do any bad thing.

Your attitude is right, don't care.

Thank you very much, and hope everything goes well for you.

#2015-10-02 19:06:33 by Megi1179 @Megi1179


Exactly, I am trying to learn, learn the people, learn the world, learn and test myself too, step by step, I have too much feelings. As I mentioned, we never know what will happen in the next 24 hours, if I can do a thing well today, I never let it put off till tomorrow.

Thank you.
Happy Every Day!

#2015-10-03 11:36:29 by YinTingYu @YinTingYu

Hi Meg,
I am so glad you wrote this
The personal stuff you share and the manner in which you present is just right up my alley !!
Really, it reads like you are sitting across table at micro- brewery from me, with husband and son of course.
Ah,...a son that just naturally knows when it's time to mow the yard ??
You must have done something right !!
The psychological aspects you present in your writings are very astute, I have felt the same many times.
It is my hope that you continue to blog and comment here on CLM.

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