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NaNa was born and raised in a small and remote village of China, and had a childhood filled with wild freedom living in nature. After finishing her education at a local provincial medical college, NaNa has been living and working in small city in South China. She is a woman with a rich heart and a passion for life. NaNa's first series of articles will tell you about her experiences first working together with a few Western men.
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神秘客人 (第四篇 在饭馆)Secret Guests (Party 4) At the Restaurant    

By NaNa
4847 Views | 9 Comments | 6/1/2015 3:06:20 PM

Is there something building here romantically between the Western guy in green and the cute Chinese chic?

大约6点钟左右,迈克和他的朋友按时到楼下,我带他们到附近的饭店吃晚餐,迈克和他的朋友碰上每一个服务员都点头微笑,我们几个人围坐在一个圆圆的饭桌包餐厅内,在没吃饭前,迈克谦和的问我一件事,他说:“娜姐,按照我们的习俗,我们在吃饭前都要祷告一下,你介意吗?” 我回答说:“是吗?我不介意的,我会尊重你们的文化和你们习俗。”迈克说:“谢谢!“



因为我没亲眼见过西方人饭前的祷告,我好奇的坐着看我的客人在饭前的一举一动,他们开始停止说说笑笑的话语,每一个人都温和的闭上他们的双眼,双手合并放在胸前,然后迈克低声而又温和的念叨:“非常感谢上帝让娜姐来招待我和我的朋友,我和我的朋友很荣幸的能和娜姐共进晚餐,我们请求上帝保佑娜姐一家人幸福快乐!阿门......。”



他们深情的话语,真诚的祷告,深深的感动了我,我知道在中国也有祷告这样的习俗但不同的是我们部份中国人是在菩萨前祷告,也有些人习惯去寺庙烧香祷告。祷告结束后,我又看到我的每一个客人温和的笑脸,我开心的问迈克说:”我们可以开始吃饭了吗?” 迈克爽快的回答说:“可以了。” 我问迈克他们喜欢吃什么菜?迈克说:“我们都不挑食的,比较随便。”我知道西方人比较喜欢煎烤之类的食品,尽管他们说随便但我还是点了些煎烤之类接近他们胃口的食品,我们边吃饭边聊天。吃完饭后我们还围着饭桌坐,迈克又开始给我们讲故事,,故事的主题是上帝如何拯救人类,我们人类的使命是什么等等鼓舞人心的内容........。尽管我年龄比迈克大但我感觉自己好象是一个小学生在课堂上听老师讲那些动听的故事,是那么的神奇和又令人向往.听着故事感觉自己好象远离争纷喧嚣的城市而生活在温暖没有争斗的和平世界里。迈克告诉我说他们都是基督教徒的,他们热爱耶稣,平时周末他们都去教堂学圣经,歌唱耶稣的赞歌,赞美人类,赞美世界,为人类美好的生活而唱出自己的心声。迈克还说他们此次的使命是帮助中国贫困山区的小孩子免费检查他们的眼睛并免费给们配送眼镜,他和他的朋友每年都要来中国一次,他们的来回机票和们的住宿都是自理的,他们给学生配送的眼镜也是他们自己挣来的钱来给他们买的,他们是眼科医生,他们在美国的收入也就是中等的收入。



转眼时间过得好快,因为我知道他们长途奔波很累所以我提议让们早点回宾馆休息,在我离开饭桌前我说让他们等一会我要去结帐,可没想到我的客人个个都站起来,迈克让服务员算了一下他们四个人平均餐费,我对迈克说:”按中国的习俗,你们是我的客人,我请你们吃饭应该是我付款的。”可是迈克却不让我付款,他们四个人平均付款,我也知道西方国家的一些习俗,就是外出吃饭无论是男女都是AA制的,我看到他们个个都付款,我心里感到很不好意思,我想: 既然不让我付全部的餐费那我也要学习他们的AA制.想到这样我也从自己小包里拿出钱来准备付我自己的那份,可是迈克却接着说:”女士不用付款。”他边说边挡住我连我自己那份也不让我付。我是想尊西方的习俗所以才这样做但我没想到我的客人按他们自己的习俗来要求自己,而对我又按中国的习俗来尊重我,我心里确实好难过,因为身为主人的我请客但却是客人自己付款而且还为我破费了。



在我准备离开饭馆时,迈克笑笑的对我说:“娜姐,谢谢你的盛情款待。按我们的礼节,朋友之间或主人和客人之间见面或离开时,都是彼此轻轻拥抱一下以表示真诚的欢迊或深情的送别,我的朋友让我问你在离开前可以和你拥抱一下吗?”我笑着回答说:“我很熟知你们有这个礼节,我不介意的。“说完话我害羞的和他们轻轻拥抱一下,之所以有点害羞是因为在自己人生中第一次和异性客人拥抱,但此时更多的是感到热情和温暖,我和客人一一拥抱后对他们说:“晚安,明天见。“就匆匆的离开他们回家去了。



Around 6pm Michael and his friends arrived downstairs on time. l brought them to restuarant for dinner. Michael and his friend greeted every waiter to nod and smile in restaurant. Several of us sit around a round table in the restaurant . before the dinner . Michael asked me one thing; he said: "sister Na, according to our custom we need to pray before dinner, would you mind?  l smiled and said: "l understand and will respect your culture and your custom." Michael replied; "thanks sister Na." 



l was curious to sit and watch my guests before the meal because l never see anyone who pray in front of table before meal in my life. They started to stop talking and laughing. Every one gently close their eyes. Hands combined with chest. Then Michael whispered and gentle talking: "thanks God let sister Na entertain my friends and l. My friend and l were honored to have dinner with sister Na .We asked God bless sister Na for a happy family. amen......“

 

Their affectionate words, a living prayer; l was deeply moved. l know some customs in china that some of chinese people also like to pray but usually they like to pray in front of buddha. There are also chinese people used to go to temples and burn incense and pray. After the prayer l also saw every guest mild smile . l was happy to ask Michael. l said: "can we start our meal?" Michael replied: "sure, let us start." l asked Michael which foods were their favourite. Michael told me that he and his friend were not picky and they do like all chinese food. l knew that westerners prefer fried baked food. Even Michael told me that they not picky but l still got some food they prefer for them. We had a chat when eating. We also sat around the table after dinner, Michael beginning tell us a story. The theme of story was how God to saved the human. What is mission of our being human and so inspiring. Even though my age older than Michael but l felt like that l was a primary school student to listened to my teacher's story. It was amazing and amazing. I listended to the story as if l was away from the noisy city and lived in a peaceful world where there no strife. Michael told me that they were all christians and they love Jesus. They were to go to church and Bible studies each weekend and singing Jesus praises, and glorify humanity and praise the world. Singing our voice for the good life of mankind. Michael also said that their mission in this time would help the kids in poor mountain area of china free to check their eyes and free to the distribution of glasses. Michael still told me that he and his friend were coming to china every year and their round-trip air tickets and their accommodation were all of their own. They gave students the glasses to the distribution and their own money to bought them. They were Department of Ophthalmology doctors and their income in the United States was also the medium income.



In a blink of an eyes, because l knew my guest tired of long distance travel, so l proposed that they get back to the hotel for a rest. Before l leave the table l said l will let them wait a minute because l was going to check out. But l can't thought of my guests standing up , Michael let waiter to counted about their four meal per person. l said to Michael: "by chinese custom you were my guests and l asked you to have dinner so l should pay. But Michael did not let me pay for it and average payment it of four of them . l also knew some of the custom of the western that is average payment of both men and women that eat out, so when l saw them all pay l felt embarrassed in my heart. l thought: "since my guests did not let me pay for all the meals l also want to learn their average payment, thinking to pay my share, so l also took out the money from my small bag reparing to pay for my own, but Michael went on to said: "lady did not need payment." and blocking for my own also did not let me pay. l want to respected the custom of the westerners so l did this but l did not though my guests were asking themselves by their own custom and to me and the custom of china to respect me . l was really embarrassed in my heart because my host was my treat but it was the guests themselves payment also for my expense.



When l was ready to leave the restaurant, Michael smiled and said to me "sister Na, thank you for your kind hospitality. In our custom that when leaving or meeting between friends or between the host and guest are all embracing each other gentle to express our sincere and affectionate farewell. So my friends asked me to ask you for a hug before you leave? " l smiled and answered: "l have been know this custom of western so l understand and would not mind they asked." After saying this l was shy and they hugged me softly. The reason was a bit shy because in my life this was the first time that the opposite sex guests embraced but at this time more was feeling warm and warm. l said good night and good bye to my guest after l hugged them one by one and went home in hurried.


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(Showing 1 to 9 of 9) 1
#2015-06-01 16:16:45 by Barry1 @Barry1

@surpurisena

"their mission in this time would help the kids in poor mountain area of china free to check their eyes and free to the distribution of glasses."

Another very interesting story, NaNa.

It is amazing that folks such as these purchase glasses and travel half way around the world, using their own money to help rectify vision problems with Chinese children.

It certainly makes one feel both gratified and in awe that such wonderful people exist in the world, to help counterbalance the large amounts of negativity, criminality and violence out there. Check out the terrible atrocities currently occurring in the name of Islam around Syria and Iraq at the moment, to see what I mean.

Well done, NaNa. (sun)(f)

#2015-06-01 19:19:57 by melcyan @melcyan

Hi NaNa

I am glad I got my Chinese comment on your last blog entry just before this new one appeared. It takes me a long time to write in Chinese. Just checking simple words and grammar takes too long. When I am restricted to words and grammar that are within my understanding I often have to compromise and settle for "close enough" being "good enough". As I struggle with writing in Chinese I am developing more and more respect for the many women here who work very hard at putting words together in English.

You are doing really well with your words. I can hear you say “ 哪里 哪里” but it is definitely true.

In this blog, I particularly like the way you describe your reactions to unfamiliar comments and actions by Western men. You bring back good memories for me about the “fight for the bill” game and the difference between a Western greeting and a Chinese greeting. My partner told me I had to give a hug to each of her girlfriends each time we met. There was always a lot of nervous giggling and laughter from her girlfriends when we hugged.

#2015-06-02 20:57:27 by seekdream @seekdream

@surpurisena

You say that pray call " thank pray before meals". Became a christian always pray thanks God! for everything.(bow)

Then pray in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done. on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts. And do not bring us the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. Amen! (talk)

When we cried out to God, hear our prayer, he was one of ten million people care about our needs. Thanks to benefactors, with us together. (sun)(f)

#2015-06-03 09:54:14 by surpurisena @surpurisena

Hello Barry
谢谢你的评论! 世界上什么人都有,当你碰上一个素质差的人你会讨厌他们的一言一行,但当你碰上一个高素质的人的时候你会感觉有如春风一样滋润着你的心扉。同时你也会不断提高自己的素质。所以我们生活在这个世界上需要不断的学习不断的提高,我相信你会的。

Hello Barry
谢谢你的评论! 世界上什么人都有,当你碰上一个素质差的人你会讨厌他们的一言一行,但当你碰上一个高素质的人的时候你会感觉有如春风一样滋润着你的心扉。同时你也会不断提高自己的素质。所以我们生活在这个世界上需要不断的学习不断的提高,我相信你会的。
Thank you for your comment ! there are diversity type of peoples in this world 。you will tired what their said or what their done if you meet a person who with low quality . but what their said or what their done will warm your heart and moving you if you meet a person who with high quality in your life . you will grow up learning from them in the same time . so l think we need to learning more and more and grow up in this world. l beleive you can.

#2015-06-03 16:15:06 by surpurisena @surpurisena

melcyan

你好! 谢谢你的评论 .我觉得其实中西双方都需要相互学习彼此不同的文化,彼此相互尊重不同的文化,当不同的文化带来双方的不同误解时那就需要双方的宽容这样才能更好的相处。

提及到你学中文,其实这也是在考验你的耐心。我想如果你喜欢而且有耐心的话会学得更好的,我学英语也有这样的感受,当我喜欢而且又有耐心的时候会容易记住单词的。不过我语法也需要不断的学,我在这用中文写我的一篇搏文有感而发的话,需要一二个小时就可以了,但用英语写需要二天左右的时间,

你提及到 “ 为付帐而战 ” 这话题,我身为中国人深有感触,80年代以前的中国人外出吃饭多是男性付款,有些贪婪的女士感觉那是理所当然的事,而且还把男士给他们钱用当作是一件光荣的事来炫耀,如果男士不付款感觉那个男子好自私,就不愿意和他交朋友的,但现在我感觉时代进步了,我们的观念也在进步了,如里她是一个进步而不贪婪的女人。她再也不认为男士付款是理所当然的事了,她也会理解男士的钱也是一样挣得不容易,即使是男士按他们的方式来付款了,通情达理的女士也会很感激他们,也会用不同的方式来回报他们,比如再请回他吃饭或买礼品送给他们等等。现在90后的一代,他们也更喜欢AA制了,我感觉这样挺好的,要不大家出去玩为了付款的事而影响自己的心情不好的,因为付款那位感觉自己出钱多了会很委屈的,而贪婪不想出钱的那位就暗自高兴,其实人人都是平等的,即使那人他再有钱也是他用汗水挣来的,不过我们也看情况而定,我们也为一些家庭比较穷而且不贪婪的人付款的。
thank you for your comment . l think need to learning from each other from different culture between westermer and easermer and respect from each other fromd different culture . we need to understand and tolerant from each other when we missunderstand from different culture that will better to get along well.
mention about you study chinese . in fact it is a way to text about your patiend . l think if you like with more patiend and you will 'good enough ". l have some experience from l studied english that l will easy to remember what l learn if l like with more patiend .l think l still need more time and more patiend to learn it continud .

l am appreciate you that you understand our chinese written in english here in CLM . yes . l just need an hour or two hours written in chinese for my blogs here in CLM . but l need more than one day when l written in english .

you mention about "figh for bill " . being as a chinese lady l have a lot of experience in my life . before 80 generation in china. lot of peoples almost not average pay when they eat out together.especially for men and women eat out together . usually man need to pay the bill and a greedy women will think that is normal for a man to pay the bill . some of greedy women still like to show that is honor thing if man pay the bill for her or gave the money for them to spent . some greedy women will think that man is selfish guy and not deserve to make friend with him once that man not pay the bill.

but after 90 generation are different with before 80 generation . lot of chinese like to average pay now and some of not greedy women will understand and will pay back for a man if that man like to pay all bill when they eat out together . some of women also like to buy some gift for that man to show her sincere. we like average pay more and more now in china when we eat out together or some union party because we do not want because of money to affect our joy .we understand if not average pay that will make someone who unhappy from pay all the bill and in the same time will make some of greedy person will greedy more.
in fact everyone are great equal . no one should pay more for the bill and some one should pay less even some one who is rich person but it is his money earn from he hard work . sometime we will dependen some of situation that will pay the bill for some one who not greedy and come from poor family .

#2015-06-04 17:18:42 by surpurisena @surpurisena

Hello seekdream
thank you for your comment. l can feeling that you is caring and friendly lady because you understand what they done and thank them for their gave . yes . we always thanks to benefactors with us together that is one of reason make me like to share my blog with everyone here .
good lucky with your search

#2015-06-04 23:52:06 by anonymous13444 @anonymous13444

Surpurisena, I found your thoughts on money between men and women very refreshing, in fact I think you are the only woman here who has addressed this subject in this fashion.

My gf was of the old concept that men pay but she has started to pay for cab fare, dinners and has bought me a few gifts(not inexpensive) so I feel she is slowly changing her concepts about this subject. I have never asked her to pay for anything she just does it. So it can be a little confusing at times.

Really enjoy your blog so far........

#2015-06-08 09:46:51 by surpurisena @surpurisena

Hello

anonymous13444

Thank you for your comment .if your gf like to pay for cab fare and dinner mean she is a nice girl who like to learning custom from your country and respect your culture . sometime need communication more about this subject and tell her about your think . she will understand and agree with your think if she is a flexible girl and l think she is a nice girl who know thank you giving and she will know how to treasure friendship between you and her and will have a happy future.

God bless you

#2015-07-07 10:04:33 by williamallman @williamallman

@surpurisena Thank you for taking much time to write this blog, your words increase understanding and give me much to think about.

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