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Panda, a common typing and binding worker in State Grid for 21 years. Own a bachelor degree of Chinese Language and Literature, and a certificate of teaching Chinese. She is pursuing a Master of Chinese Classical Literature in HuBei University, and studying the novels of Ming & Qing dynasties.
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为什么有钱人都不娶美女(转), Why Rich Guys Don't Need to Marry Beautiful Women    

By Panda
8045 Views | 17 Comments | 11/12/2011 10:55:49 AM
Tag: 欧美   结婚  

What am I doing wrong?

一个年轻漂亮的美国女孩在美国一家大型网上论坛金融版上发表了这样一个问题帖:我怎样才能嫁给有钱人? “我下面要说的都是心里话。本人25岁,非常漂亮,是那种让人惊艳的美,谈吐文雅,有品位,想嫁给年薪50万美元的人。你也许会说我贪心,但在纽约年薪100万才算是中产,本人的要求其实不高。 这个版上有没有年薪超过50万的人?你们都结婚了吗?我想请教各位一个问题—怎样才能嫁给你们这样的有钱人?我约会过的人中,最有钱的年薪25万,这似乎就是我的上限。要住进纽约中心公园以西的高尚住宅区,年薪25万远远不够。所以我是来诚心诚意请教的。有几个具体的问题:一、单身富豪一般都在哪里消磨时光?(请列出酒吧、饭店、健身房的名字和详细地址。)二、我应该把目标定在哪个年龄段?三、为什么有些富豪的妻子看起来相貌平平?我见过有些女孩,长相如同白开水,毫无吸引人的地方,但她们却能嫁入豪门。而吧台里那些迷人的美女却运气不佳。四、你们怎么决定谁能做妻子,谁只能做女朋友?(我现在的目标是结婚。)“——波尔斯女士

下面是一个华尔街金融家的回帖: “亲爱的波尔斯:我怀着极大的兴趣看完了贵帖,相信不少女士也有跟你类似的疑问。让我以一个投资专家的身份,对你的处境做一分析。我年薪超过50万,符合你的择偶标准,所以请相信我并不是在浪费大家的时间。 从生意人的角度来看,跟你结婚是个糟糕的经营决策,道理再明白不过,请听我解释。抛开细枝末节,你所说的其实是一笔简单的“财”“貌”交易:甲方提供美丽的外表,乙方出钱,公平交易,童叟无欺。但是,这里有个致命的问题,你的美貌会消逝,但我的钱却不会无缘无故减少。事实上,我的收入很可能会逐年递增,但你不可能一年比一年漂亮。 因此,从经济学的角度讲,我是增值资产,你是贬值资产,不但贬值,而且是加速贬值!你现在25岁,在未来的五年里,你仍可以保持窈窕的身段,俏丽的容貌,虽然每年略有退步。但美貌消逝的速度会越来越快,如果它是你仅有的资产,十年以后,你的价值堪忧。 用华尔街术语说,每笔交易都是一个仓位,跟你交往属于“交易仓位”(tradingposition),一但价值下跌就要立即抛售,而不宜长期持有——也就是你想要的婚姻。听起来很残忍,但对一件会加速贬值的物资,明智的选择是租赁,而不是购入,年薪能超过50万的人,当然都不是傻瓜,因此我们只会跟你交往,但不会跟你结婚。所以我劝你不要苦苦寻找嫁给有钱人的秘方。顺便说一句,你倒可以想办法把自己变成年薪50万的人,这比碰到一个有钱的傻瓜的胜算要大。 希望我的回帖能对你有帮助。如果你对“租赁”感兴趣,请跟我联系。”——罗波坎贝尔(J.P.摩根银行多种产业投资顾问)

这个是转自美国论坛的,英文原帖是: What am I doing wrong? (Read till the end for the answer) Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level? Here are my questions specifically: - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms - What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings - Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)? - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLYPlease hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth. Pers. It’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Craig’s List PostingID: ***********

THE ANSWER Dear Pers-: I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset . Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful ” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Rob Campbell J.P.Morgan Diversified Industrials Investment Banking 277 Park Avenue, 16/F, New York, NY 10172

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 10 of 17) 1 2 More...
#2011-11-12 14:03:43 by danruble @danruble

My god.. where does one start to properly answer this... first cao, thank you for posting .. i have no idea if this is a true CL post or not, but on so many levels, it seems like 90 percent true.. The women in the Us are just out and out mercenaries these days.Greedy, obnoxious, rude, loud mouthed low morals.. Yeah and tatoos.. If you do happen to get a replyn answer on a dating site, it will blow up within a few sentences. They all want to know what you do for work. How much you make... but if you do not meet a certain level.. sayanora ... I have a good friend that was married for 20+ years. His marriage blew up.. recently back in the dating game.. He has his own three year old house, paid for... several nice cars, You know mini Cooper, Mustang convertible, 350z.. Not junk.. an expensive RV,etc etc.. But he does not work other than to buy, maybe fix up and detail and then sell a car, truck or RV...The occasional buy and flip.. In other words. He is doing OK, but no visible means of support..Works when he wants to.. maybe 6 weeks a year if you added it up... make 8-10k, take a few weeks off... Enjoy life.No bills, no drama, no stress...BUT... Not a doctor, lawyer, high Tech guru, capatain of industry. Tony is a great guy, handsome, great sense of humor, honest, faithful..likeable, great dancer.. A catch but he does not pull down more than 80-100 a year..Does not have a REAL job.. simply because he does not feel the need. . He is dog meat on the dating scene. Some lucky girl will find him .

#2011-11-12 15:04:32 by swe2 @swe2

Now that gave me a good laugh this morning. Classic economical reply to the poor woman.

#2011-11-12 20:50:51 by lotusmaster @lotusmaster

And now you know why most of the American men that are here, are here. I went through many of those before I swore off American girls.

#2011-11-12 22:23:36 by tanshui @tanshui

Hmmm, is the sequel to your thesis or the beginning of a new one?

Most amusing and of course this not restricted to the US or Canada and could easily be applied to China. haha

But I wonder why he proposed 'leasing' when a short-term rental is so much more convenient and doesn't usually require a contract. hahaha

#2011-11-13 00:18:34 by xactly @xactly

谢谢您Cao Hui, 很欣赏你的故事. 博客以中英双语言发表, 方便了很多读者, 而且翻译工作也的确做得很出色! 这个故事很有意思. 对男女双方应该都有些教育意义. 那就是说持久, 和谐的男女关系(婚姻), 必须建筑在感情上. 这样的话, 丈夫会觉得妻子越老越可爱. 如果丈夫真的不幸从华尔街大亨变成一个普通小职员, 妻子也会继续当他是自己亲爱的老公. 很多东西是金钱和样貌买不到的, 爱情就是其中之一.

当然客观来说在人生某个阶段中, 或许长期关系不总是合适或需要的. 用"交易"来描写这种情形似乎比较商业化. 其实在成熟单身男女双方愿意的前提下, 互相接受对方的需求渡过一段愉快的时光是无可厚非的. 用中国道德传统来说, 这种选择好像很无意义. 很多人甚至会觉得反感. 我从小受中国教育短期关系不是我的选择. 不过我不反对其他朋友有此想法, 因为男女双方各得其所也没损害到第三者, 应该不能列为一件坏事. 一般来说, 西方人士可能比较容易理解和接受这种关系. 我想中西双方都需要了解对方不同的看法才能读懂对方.

Hi Cao Hui, I enjoy reading your blog. The translation is though and excellently done, thanks. You've told us an interesting story. Perhaps Men and women can benefit from it. What I get out of it is that a long lasting and endearing relationship between a man and a woman (such as one in a marriage) builds upon love. Once there is love in a marriage, the wife becomes more sophisticated and attractive in the eyes of the husband. And if the husband loses his position as a Wall Street Banker and becomes a common white collar worker, the wife would still appreciate her husband for being there for her.

Of course, not everyone is interested in a long lasting relationship at certain stages of life. I won't call it a "transaction" (it sounds quite commercial), but with such a case, spending an enjoyable time together between two mature (single) adults should not be judged as a moral issue. A word for our foreign readers, such short relationship is generally frowned upon and harder to be accepted in a Chinese mind than a Western mind, especially in the mind of a Chinese lady (in a general sense; exceptions not withstanding). Perhaps this is something to make a note of for mutual understanding.

To me, many things are beyond beauty and money. Love is one of them.

#2011-11-13 14:16:37 by tanshui @tanshui

Wow xactly the Chinese version sure must read differently than English or you can read between the lines in a way that eludes me.

However I think that the Chinese mind and practice for generations has been readily able to accept short transactional relations commonly referred to as Ernai: 二奶 [èrnǎi] – kept woman; second wife; mistress or Xiaosan: 小三 [xiǎosān]: Another name for kept woman, mistress. Literally “little three”, three being the third person in the relationship. Interchangeable with Ernai.

Quite common again in China and very far out of the ability of the average western mind to comprehend, well except for the French and Italians. hehehe

I do agree with you BTW when you write: "To me, many things are beyond beauty and money. Love is one of them."

#2011-11-14 09:55:58 by dawn1225 @dawn1225

圣经说:“上帝造人原是很单纯的,但是他们把自己弄成这么复杂。”“看得见的是暂时的,看不见的是永恒的。”

#2011-11-14 21:42:25 by sly @sly

haha, that's quite interested...

#2011-11-15 11:58:53 by dengyilin @dengyilin

爱究竟是什么?口才,知识,信心,能力,善行。。。都不足以比较。爱是一种生命,是一颗特别的心,在一个人里面,将它表现出来有许多方面。
爱是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈;爱是不嫉妒,爱是不自夸,不张狂,不做害羞的事,不求自己的益处,不轻易发怒,不计算人的恶。。。(林前13:4-7)
这爱虽柔却刚强有力,虽隐却永不止息。。。
铭记生命中经历的喜悦和宽慰;惦念人生中遇见的善良和感动;存储记忆中所有的真情和友谊;珍惜前世今生所有的偶遇和缘分。心存感激,感恩节快乐!

#2011-11-18 14:49:27 by anonymous2836 @anonymous2836

就这样的还敢说美女,还惊艳,没见过美女吧,觉得有点资色的就想找个有钱人。这样的人有钱的人也不会要的,当他有钱的时候你嫁给他,那么是不是他没有钱了,你也就弃他而去了,获取金钱是需要自己的努力,而不是靠他人获取的,请正视自己的人生观吧

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