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In the world of online Chinese and Asian dating there really is nothing quite like them. That's because the blogs are written by real Chinese or Asian women and real Western men, all members of CLM or ALM. The forum is for members to discuss serious cross- cultural issues, and problems relating to long distance international internet dating. But the blogs and forum are about more than that, much more, because we believe that the members' understanding of each other's diverse history, traditions, food, parenting beliefs, and cultural background are incredibly relevant in developing a strong and lasting mutual love. Likewise the sharing of mutual interests, such as travel, cooking, gardening, humour, modes of entertainment, hobbies, crafts, spiritual beliefs, and many other factors are crucial to maintaining a healthy bond. Unlike other dating sites who publish endless fluff that has no value beyond enticing people to join, at ChinaLoveMatch.net and AsiaLoveMatch.net we understand your desire is not simply to meet someone special today, but to join someone special for life. We keep it real, to ensure your newfound Chinese or Asian love lasts forever.
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Once more I got busy on the internet. Where would we all be without it? It’s a godsend for expats living in a foreign country as it’s a source of information in addition to keeping in touch with friends new and old. And, of course it’s essential for online dating but I no longer have use for the dating site I used to use. But I digress! Bali?

            At 6:00 p.m. I had resolved to upgrade my CLM membership.  I attempted to pay for the upgrade but I immediately ran into a problem.  The only card I had available to make the payment was the ATM card associated with my primary checking account.  Unfortunately, the card was a Mastercard and, for reasons involving international banking, PayPal would not accept it.  After three hours of fruitless attempts to use my bank card to pay for my upgrade, I sent an e-mail to CLM's customer support to ask them why I couldn't pay for my upgrade with a Mastercard.

I started this series by describing an incident that occurred while Yong and I were travelling in which she uttered a statement about the superiority of Chinese culture that seemed dubious to say the least in light of the historical record. Rather than confront the situation with reason and logic (which in my experience are of limited value in any relationship), I suggested that the Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) is a more useful tool to bring to an intercultural relationship.  According to the DMIS, there are six levels at which we can relate to a culture other than our own:  Denial, Defense, Minimization, Acceptance, Adaptation, and Integration. As we progress through the various levels, we come to realize the filter through which we inevitably view other cultures, abandon the ethnocentric belief in the superiority of our own culture and ultimately adopt an ethnorelative stance that grounds itself not in critical judgment but in clear-eyed understanding.

Before I start on this blog, I want to share with you a rather funny story.......

            I vividly remember a case on another dating website where I encountered a woman with three or four pictures in her profile.  Her primary picture showed her wearing a business suit.  I did not find that picture particularly attractive but there was another picture showing her riding a lawn tractor.  She was dressed casually and she was not wearing any make-up or jewelry and that was the picture that made me interested in her.  That was the picture where I felt she looked the most beautiful and that was the picture that attracted me to her.  If her primary picture had been the only picture on her profile, I would not have given her a second glance.  I certainly would not have tried to contact her.  Naturally, she was an Asian woman living in Virginia and at the time she was a couple of years older than me.

In the previous entry, I distinguished three initial stages of intercultural understanding: Denial, Defense, and Minimization. All of these stages can be roughly characterized as “ethnocentric” insofar as they assume one culture (usually my own) has the correct stance/attitude on cultural matters. This is a natural enough state for people to exist in and if I had to guess I would say that most of humanity ends up spending their lives in this state—convinced of the rightness and rationality of whatever system of beliefs they happened to have been born into. However, we can only move forward to a level necessary for a healthy cross-cultural dating by abandoning this naïve belief that our culture alone has attained the true way and adopting instead an “ethnorelative” perspective that refuses to pass judgment but instead contents itself with understanding the endless variety of cultural expression.

When I was writing about my ideal match it never occurred to me that anyone would seriously object when I said that she would be both beautiful and sexy.  But then again, I had forgotten what I had learned in speech communication class:  that we interpret all forms of communication, even written communication, through the prism of our beliefs, experiences, emotions, and prejudices.  Thus, the reader will never perceive the message in the same way that it was originally conceived by the writer.  Words such as 'beauty' and 'sexy' are far more open to interpretation than others.

The Honda dealer threw in a carrier basket. That was handy for Noi to transport the vegetables from market to the restaurant. Noi told me she was a good cook and she was right. Her food was delicious and enjoyed by all. The only drawback? It was a long day. She would set off for market about 5.30 every morning then cook the first rice and breakfasts of the day. It would be busy until about ten and slack off for a while. The rest of the day had spurts of activity. One minute, no customers then five or six would show out of nowhere.

"On These Pages Awaits Your Perfect Match".  Those words appeared at the top of every page whenever you use the browse feature on CLM.  I have to admit that the first time I encountered them I was more than just a little skeptical.  I simply dismissed them as little more than advertising copy.  But within perhaps ten to fifteen minutes I found those words rather unexpectedly validated.  My first action upon joining CLM was to perform a search for women between the ages of 21 and 45.  Within the very first page of search results, I found her, the woman who has ever come closest to matching the profile of my ideal match.

Now, one objection that might be raised with respect to the rule with which I ended my previous entry—that one should not say anything negative about China to your Chinese partner—is: Don’t couples need to be truthful with each other? And if the negative statement about China is true, shouldn’t I inform my partner about this fact?

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Everyone on CLM and ALM knows Imi5922 as Imi the Blogger. Through his blogs we have also come to know Zelmaniss, his Bride, as Janessa. Finally, after much effort and expense and being married for some time, Imi and Janessa have received Canada's permission for Janessa to join her husband Imi to live in Canada. You can read their Success Story by clicking on "read more..." below. Meanwhile here are two of many blogs by Imi about Janessa and Imi's relationship:

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How about going to read these reviews and giving CLM a thumbs up in the comment section?



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In a recent article entitled "Chinese Women For Love and Marriage (Truth vs Stereotypes)" the website ForeignWifeHappyLife.com has done an indepth interview of CLM Managing Director John Abbot. We urge you to go read the whole interview and to add your own comments and insights to John's point of view.
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Please continue to G+, Like and Tweet these articles as a way to educate as many people as possible to avoid being scammed.