Am I a gold digger myself? I never have doubt of my answer to this question but it’s not the first time that I’ve been questioned of. Ah, it’s a price every girl has to pay if she attracted to old fat men. LOL… In case any of you find yourself fit into any of these things I write below, please laugh instead of taking it as an offense. I’ve been pissing off quite a few people lately.
Ok. I went on a date with a very interesting guy. He comes from a small European country and now working in Guangzhou as an Electronic engineer. He is a kind loving guy with good value of life and living, just a little bit too negative. We chat quite a bit on QQ (similar software as MSN or Skype).
There was something very interesting he preached to me, it’s not 100% true but I do find it make some kind of sense on some level. Oh, by the way, he has been living in Guangzhou for two years.
His opinion about Chinese men:
A lot of them are so selfish, and they believe they know everything better than other people. The reason of that is since childhood they are 'men'. In Chinese culture men are the 'king' of the family.
His opinion about foreigners in Guangzhou:
Divided into three categories:
-Business men: they have some good money, but not too much brain...they just want to have fun here, until the business trip is over...
- English teachers: They come here mostly because they can’t find any good jobs or live a decent life in their own countries, some don’t even have what it takes to find a decent job at all, a lot of them are not exactly teachers, just speak English... You can find every Irish pub full of them all night in Guangzhou
-Engineers or experts, come here with work contracts, some of them stay here 3-5 years or even longer, most of them find a nice Chinese girl and settle down...
His opinion about Chinese girls:
99% of them have a life goal to marry a rich man... have a Baby and stay home do nothing... QQ all day long... (99% is a scary number. I don’t think this number make any sense. But if speak from his experience, if he only dated a few Chinese girls and they all happened to be gold diggers than I have no argument.)
After the first greeting, Chinese gold diggers will question you like: Do you have a car? Do you have a house? Or do you have both?
The next question will be: Are you going to marry me in the near future? I don’t have a lot of time to wait (Even if they are only 25).
I mean he is a very interesting guy, some of his opinion above is a bit extreme and he tend to believe that most Chinese girls are liars and gold diggers.
I feel sorry for him that he has bad experience like that. But I wonder how he attracts so many gold diggers? I don’t know many gold diggers around me. Most of my friends are honest and intelligent girls who make just as much or even more money than men. My salary is higher than most of my classmates and they are 90% boys.
Any way, our first date was ok but there was no second one because I didn’t feel much about him. I look at his face I see a blank paper. It’s dull and lifeless. Any way I was polite and nice to him before I sent him on the bus home.
Somehow he got pissed off the next day when I told him I was not interested to go out with him again.
Here are some of the messages he sent to me:
“then I not understand why not told this yesterday ??? Cos as I seen everything was nice, and you feel good yourself (means he thought I was having a good time)... Or maybe you are still a gold digger... and I don't have enough gold ???”
“within 3 hours talking and feel ourself good (means for three hours we were talking and having a nice time. Yeah, his English is terrible) means no feelings...”
“are you a gold digger ?? (if not answer, than means yes to me...)”
“if answer yes: ... then you make mistake...”
“if no: that means you still don't know what you want...”
Folks, help me out here. How should I answer those questions?
One interesting thing, I never been accused been a gold digger by rich guys. Once I went on a date with a multi millionaire. We had lunch at this crazy expensive restaurant. I ordered three small dishes of food and they cost 1800RMB. Frankly speaking, they are not good. After I saw the check I swore to God I would never set my foot back to that place again. Anyway, the guy was kind and generous but no chemistry between us. Maybe it was because he was too skinny. ^_^
To avoid being accused been a gold digger again I think I should start going out with young hot guys. I mean I don’t have anything against them just I thought old not so good looking guys would be friendlier. Obviously life proves me wrong. I’m just joking.
I have a few words for those old poor looking guys: You have your fair chance to be with somebody who genuinely cares about you. There are gold diggers everywhere but if you don’t have gold for them to dig then there is one less thing you have to worry about. Please believe in yourself. If you are an honest smart decent person and work hard for what you have then you should be proud of yourself.
Who am I lecturing about? Never mind. Ciao…
Its true their are men and women who look for a partner that can "support them" like its their god given right to be carried finacially through life.
And that applies to women and men from the east and west.
Myself could I be with a women that I do not love and carefor but she has wealth to keep me in the lifestyle I like or want. The answer would be no, you marry for love not lifestyle. The old phrase marry in hast repent at leisure. The divorce laws in the west make any man nervous about marrying a women, they fear being cleaned out financially. So my advice is marry for love not money , a deep love for a person makes you the wealthest person in the world.
had a good laugh at your blog.
Did you say " a little bit negative..."? Yee gods, girl, he was Mr NEGATIVE - there is no way you can answer his questions and get a correct answer that he would be happy with - forget it!!!
When I meet my (now) wife on Chinalovematch, the first thought I had was wondering whether she was a 'gold digger' - and I put that thought to her. Her answer was a good one - 'gold diggers' can be found in China and in Australia ( my country) so you just have to take your chances. I worked out for myself, as we got to know each other, whether I thought she was a genuine honest person or someone just after a rich western man she could marry and live off for the rest of her life.
You can work out yourself since we got married in Australia in March this year what I thought of my beautiful girl Hua after we got to know each other over many months on Ichat ( Mac version of MSN,QQ or whatever you use, but more reliable than any other as long as you both have a Mac.... ).
The girl I married ( from Yantai ) proved herself to be a ( mostly ) honest, very hard working and genuine chinese girl ( ok, she is 48 yo but she is still my 'girl'!! ) and my family has excepted her as a welcome member to our family.
Why (mostly) honest? Why is it that chinese girls think 'little' lies to be polite are not lies...?? LOL!! I am getting used to that, just as she is getting used to a very blunt speaking 99.99% truthful Aussie husband!!! LOL!!
We are still waiting for her visa to come back from Shanghai CG office and we are both hoping that she and daughter Nan will be here for Christmas. Fingers crossed.
To those who are out there wondering and worrying whether the chinese girls on the website are 'gold diggers' or not, I agree with Victoria that I think the majority of these girls are genuine and honest just like my Hua but you will just have to be careful and ask the right questions - you can trick a real liar into saying the wrong things with the right questions.
All I can say, from personal experience, is "take the chance ", most chinese girls I have meet and talked to are streets ahead of most Aussie girls in my age group ( I am 57yo ).
Just don't ask my wife where to find the perfect chinese girl - she says only north chinese girls are any good, she doesn't trust south chinese....!!! LOL!!! Being north chinese, could you expect any other answer....!!???
Cheers from the Land Down Under.
Wayne.
I think you're very likely going to be smothered in loving messages from every slightly overweight man on CLM - are you ready for it?
As an aside, I'm going to post this message to Lotusmaster: Hi, I've been trying to message you via email for a couple of weeks now. Please write to me at service@ChinaLoveMatch.net, Attn: John Abbot. I'd love to chat with you but apparently our messages are not connecting. Thanks, John Abbot
I agree completely with John's definition--"...a Gold Digger is a woman who is marrying a man, or at least entertaining a relationship with him, strictly for money with no thought about companionship or love. Nothing more and nothing less."
Based upon that criteria, far from a Gold Digger--you're simply Golden. Please keep up the blog. I enjoy your perspective greatly.
It's obvious the chemistry was not there. Depending on the people one meets, it's easy to think the way he does.
Next time you go out on a date, maybe just say its a dinner date and not a romantic one. That way you could avoid hard feelings by telling what to expect. If you are truly not interested in a man who likes you, its better you do not go out on any type of date. As I understand, you did know some of his thoughts on life through online chat. Be polite & honest and tell the man you are not interested in him in one last email. When you date again, be sure you feel some interest to know a man romantically and not waste someones time.
Not saying you are a gold digger. You are very honest and direct in your attitude. Your date was an experience and you learned from it. No one is perfect in this life.
Victoria------- I would like to know you through chat.
Best Regards Dan