Is this guy the ideal Western man?
This question was brought up before by my friends and families. I didn’t give them any answer because I never really thought about it. A few weeks ago, a blogger here asked me this question again.
My answer to him at the time was “No. I’m searching for love in life as always. But I do prefer a western man and from my experience it has higher chance to work”.
I’ve been on dates with some Chinese men but none of them turned into a serious relationship. I can’t imagine marry to a Cantonese and must give birth to a boy (no matter how many beautiful girls you have, if you don’t have a boy you are a loser). Plus most mother-in-laws are pains in the ass and many many aunties and uncles to suck up to. You know how snobbish Cantonese can be. My family (means my parents, brothers know better) doesn’t have powerful background but they are very snobbish too. Anybody out of Guangdong they consider them poor and fall behind. That’s why they gave me the order to only marry a Cantonese. Young, wealthy, good job, no divorced or with kids, good education, good family background, best working for the government. So many rules! Who they think their daughter is? Marilyn Monroe? Last time I engaged to somebody and broke so many of their rules my dad told me that I was dead to him.
Ok. Enough of my parents. They can’t control my life and I made that very clear to them. To me, I just really want somebody to love me! I want nothing, just love! But it’s so damn hard to get and maintain!
Western men, Eastern men, they are all the same. They are men! What do men want? I have no freaking idea. Lately I dated an American guy in Guangzhou, 42, extra few pounds, divorced twice and have two grown up kids. First everything started great, we are both engineers, we can talk about work, we all like watching sports, mostly NBA basketball games. Snookers is great to watch too. Fantastic games this year. Any way, we were happy together for a few weeks and suddenly, his ex-girl friend had new boobs job and new plastic face, and new teeth too (That’s what I heard, try not be too mean here). She dumped him before and now she saw us happy together she asked him out again and he said yes and now he wants to try her out again!!!
What the f**k is wrong with this world? No wonder I was depressed.
Breathe… Anyway, I’m not looking for a western man in particular. I’m looking for a good man with a good heart. That’s all. Age, height, weight, look, nationality, financial condition, education or anything else doesn’t matter, but (there is always a but), I have to be attracted to the man. Hey, we are talking about dating and maybe more, not just a friend that go to restaurants and eat. It got to be some chemistry there.
I'm tired. Can’t bitching too much. Need to drink some water and get my smile back.
我的理想丈夫是西方男人吗？
我家人和朋友都问过我这个问题，我没有回答他们是因为我真没细想过。几周前，这里一个博主又问了我这个问题。
我当时给他的回答是“不是的，我一直以来都是在寻找真爱。但是我真的比较喜欢西方男人而且从我的经验来说与西方男人的成功几率可能更高。
我也跟一些中国男人约会过，但是都是短命情缘。我实在无法想象嫁给一个广东男人然后必须生个儿子（不管有多少漂亮女儿，没生儿子就是不称职的妻子）。而且大多数婆婆都很难缠，还有七大姑八大婆需要好生伺候。你知道广东人可以很势利。我家人（指我父母，兄弟们知书达理还好）没什么强大背景但是他们也很势利。任何广东以外的人他们都觉得是穷人和落后的。这也是为什么他们命令我必须嫁个广东人。必须年轻，富有，有好工作，不能是离过婚或者有孩子，受过高等教育，家庭背景好，最好是在政府部分工作。要求太多了！他们以为我是谁？玛丽莲梦露吗？上次我跟某人订婚了，坏了他们的数条规矩，我爸直接跟我说对他来说我死了。
好了，不啰嗦我父母了，他们控制不了我的生活，我已经跟他们表态了。对我来说，我真的只想找个人来爱我。我别无他求，我只要真爱！但是要找到真爱并维持下去真的难。
西方男人，东方男人，都一样，都是男人！男人们到底想要什么？我完全不懂。最近我跟一个在广州工作的美国人约会，他42岁，有点胖，离过两次婚，有两个成年的孩子。一开始什么都好，我们都是做工程类的，可以一起聊工作，我们都喜欢看球赛，大多数是NBA的篮球赛，前阵子的国际台球锦标赛也很好看。总之，我们在一起的几个星期很开心，突然，他的前女友去隆胸了又整形了脸部，连牙都换了（至少这都是我听说的，并不想在这里说的太过分）。她之前是甩了他的，现在她又说想复合。他就想再回去重温旧梦。天哪！这个世界到底怎么啦？难怪我沮丧郁闷。
消气，消气……不管怎样，我并不特别在意要嫁个西方男人。我只要一个好男人。仅此而已。年龄，身高，体重，长相，国籍，经济状况，教育背景等等都不重要，但是（总有个但是），我必须被他吸引。同志，我们是要约会而且可能会发展更多，不只是一个去餐馆聚聚餐的朋友，一点的相互吸引是必须的。
我累了。不能再用这种口气说话了。得去喝杯水下下火，找回我的微笑。
That's so many rules! It should be about love and respect, not about one's position in life or anything of the like.
You have a great way with words Victoria.
You are gutsy and plunge into things with gusto as your previous writings have shown us. I am sure that you will find a wonderful guy and the guys that find you attractive and interesting had better get busy because you are going to gone soon. LOL
Wooooow it happens every where I live in the States and when I feel in love and want to get marred I was told same God but wrong building (religion) So I did what any man would have done when he knows he found the best !!! She turned out to be my friend,partner,lover and wife for over 30 years and my family told me she was way to good for me. When she died 4 years ago the pain in my family was almost as great as mine. When I told then I was comeing here hopeing love well find me agane thy all wished me well. I guess what I am saying is you cannot find love you have to let love find you!!!!!! GOODLUCK PRINCESS
Do not give up on love. If you look for love, you will never find it. Love will find you instead. Try to avoid people whom dwell in the past, but rather those that focus on the future.
I strongly beleive that love cannot be shared with more than one husband or wife, only between two people, not three, four, five or six wives. I dream of the day that I can have a baby daughter to love and to hold.
Just as you feel, I also feel I must have been born in the wrong world, I cannot seem to find the love that I seek in any "white" woman, so I sought out Asian and eventually narrowed the search down to Chinese or Korean and no other nationality due to the strong beliefs in family values.
You have every right to complain about the stupidity of men, they often do not think with the correct head, if they in fact think at all about love.
Sometimes I feel as though I have been searching for a thousand years to find the kind of love that I wish for in life. I often say that she is the sun and I am the moon and the earth keeps coming between our love.
Please do not feel too depressed and never give up on love. True love is very hard to find, and it you let it slip away, you may never find it again in this lifetime.
all the best for you
You will find the right person one day